Monday, April 4, 2011
Moving on
This archive of articles from the 'Family Ties - Bringing Up Children' section of theSun will no longer be updated with new articles as the writer has moved on to other writing projects.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Saying no to junior
We need to teach our children that there will be times in their lives when they cannot get what they want
theSun, tues, 29 March 2011
IT WAS time to leave after her tiring physical activity class. Bedtime beckoned as it was a schoolday the next day but she asked if she could go to the indoor playground nearby.
I said ‘no’. She pleaded and tried to negotiate but I stood firm. Her facial expression changed very quickly from happy to desperate to angry.
As much as we love our children and want to give them everything if we could, there will be times we know we have to say ‘no’ to them.
Saying ‘no’ to our children could be an uneasy task at times because we dread having to deal with what comes after – the power struggle, the tantrum and tears.
We are tempted to avoid the hassle of dealing with such situations because we want them off our backs for some peace and quiet.
If we do that, very quickly, our children will know when and how they can manipulate us to get what they want. They will cry or plead on bended knees long enough until you say ‘yes’.
We need to teach our children a life’s lesson, that there will be times when we cannot get what we want.
Sometimes, we cannot get what we want immediately and instead, have to work and wait for it.
By not giving in to instant gratification and saying ‘no’, we can teach them patience. They will learn to appreciate what they have more.
Otherwise, they will lack the motivation to work towards what they want because they think they are entitled to it.
By denying them sometimes, they will be in touch with the reality of life’s limits and be able to cope with boundaries and disappointments later in life.
Sometimes, we hesitate in saying ‘no’ because we might make them feel rejected when we disappoint them.
Separate the ‘no’ from rejection. Explain to them that ‘no’ means they cannot have what they want; it does not mean you do not love them.
How we say it could make a difference as well. Check your tone of voice and the accompanying words you use.
You could say ‘yes’ with a twist. For instance, telling her "yes, you can have ice cream later after dinner" and not "no, you cannot have it now" could bring about a better outcome.
See if there are alternatives you could offer or if they are younger and can still be easily distracted, turn their attention to more exciting things.
Saying ‘no’ to our children is hard but it is essential and worth the hassle.
According to therapist Jill MacDonald in her article Understanding the Need to Say ‘No’ to Your Children, "you learn that when you say ‘no’, you’re teaching your child something.
"You start to understand that saying ‘no’ is a tool. You learn to say ‘no’ in a non-punishing manner. You take the time to think through your answers, while keeping your focus on the life lesson at hand.
"Our role as parents is to raise our children to be happy, successful, contributing members of society.
"Therefore, teaching them to handle hearing ‘no’ – and to understand the lesson behind it – is key," she says.
theSun, tues, 29 March 2011
IT WAS time to leave after her tiring physical activity class. Bedtime beckoned as it was a schoolday the next day but she asked if she could go to the indoor playground nearby.
I said ‘no’. She pleaded and tried to negotiate but I stood firm. Her facial expression changed very quickly from happy to desperate to angry.
As much as we love our children and want to give them everything if we could, there will be times we know we have to say ‘no’ to them.
Saying ‘no’ to our children could be an uneasy task at times because we dread having to deal with what comes after – the power struggle, the tantrum and tears.
We are tempted to avoid the hassle of dealing with such situations because we want them off our backs for some peace and quiet.
If we do that, very quickly, our children will know when and how they can manipulate us to get what they want. They will cry or plead on bended knees long enough until you say ‘yes’.
We need to teach our children a life’s lesson, that there will be times when we cannot get what we want.
Sometimes, we cannot get what we want immediately and instead, have to work and wait for it.
By not giving in to instant gratification and saying ‘no’, we can teach them patience. They will learn to appreciate what they have more.
Otherwise, they will lack the motivation to work towards what they want because they think they are entitled to it.
By denying them sometimes, they will be in touch with the reality of life’s limits and be able to cope with boundaries and disappointments later in life.
Sometimes, we hesitate in saying ‘no’ because we might make them feel rejected when we disappoint them.
Separate the ‘no’ from rejection. Explain to them that ‘no’ means they cannot have what they want; it does not mean you do not love them.
How we say it could make a difference as well. Check your tone of voice and the accompanying words you use.
You could say ‘yes’ with a twist. For instance, telling her "yes, you can have ice cream later after dinner" and not "no, you cannot have it now" could bring about a better outcome.
See if there are alternatives you could offer or if they are younger and can still be easily distracted, turn their attention to more exciting things.
Saying ‘no’ to our children is hard but it is essential and worth the hassle.
According to therapist Jill MacDonald in her article Understanding the Need to Say ‘No’ to Your Children, "you learn that when you say ‘no’, you’re teaching your child something.
"You start to understand that saying ‘no’ is a tool. You learn to say ‘no’ in a non-punishing manner. You take the time to think through your answers, while keeping your focus on the life lesson at hand.
"Our role as parents is to raise our children to be happy, successful, contributing members of society.
"Therefore, teaching them to handle hearing ‘no’ – and to understand the lesson behind it – is key," she says.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The right influence
It is imperative that parents steer their children to peers who can set good examples for each other
theSun, Tue, 15 Mar 2011
EVERYONE faces peer influence at different times in his or her life. Young children are not immune but in their case, most times they are not aware of it and would naturally react as how their young minds would.
For example, your child may pester you for the latest Barbie doll accessory just because she doesn’t want to feel left out among her friends at kindergarten who are constantly talking about theirs.
Meanwhile, those in their teens may face a different type of peer influence. It could range from conforming to a behaviour or a type of dressing to indulging in risky activities such as smoking, drinking or taking drugs – just so they can be part of a group.
While we have often talked and worried about the negative effects of peer influence, there is also a positive side to it.
According to Kidshealth.org, it is comforting for children to face life’s challenges with friends who are also facing similar challenges and share their interests.
When children accept each other, they learn about honesty and sincerity. They learn the values of loyalty and how to build healthy and lasting friendships.
Peers can set good examples for each other, such as in wanting to do well in school or extra-curricular activities. Good friends listen, discuss problems, share ideas and give feedback. They help each other think through issues and decisions.
Such children also have more courage to try out new things, make new friends, or learn a new skill when they have one another for company and give each other moral support.
Peers may influence your child to join a club, listen to a genre of music they are otherwise not accustomed to, or for younger ones, eat some vegetables!
When our children are young, we play a part in determining who their peers are. We arrange play dates for them with children whose parents are our friends. We get to know the parents of their classmates in kindergarten through common activities at school or at birthday parties.
In this way, we are in better control of their exposure to positive peer influence.
As our children grow older, they would be spending more time with their peers and, therefore, be more exposed to situations where they are pressured to follow the crowd in their activities, dressing style, and behaviour for example.
Pre-teens and teenagers have a stronger need to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance, and if they are not able to find support at home, they would gravitate towards their peers whom they spend much time with, such as their friends.
It is our duty as parents to guide our young ones in such situations in order to build their confidence, self-esteem, assertiveness, values and character.
Help them widen their social circle in a healthy and positive setting by encouraging them to take up new activities and responsibilities such as joining a uniformed group or volunteering at an animal shelter for example.
From the very beginning, we need to encourage open communication with our children for them to feel comfortable to approach us for advice or help.
Without being too intrusive, find out who their friends are, what they talk about and do when they are together to get a better picture of the peer influence your children are exposed to.
theSun, Tue, 15 Mar 2011
EVERYONE faces peer influence at different times in his or her life. Young children are not immune but in their case, most times they are not aware of it and would naturally react as how their young minds would.
For example, your child may pester you for the latest Barbie doll accessory just because she doesn’t want to feel left out among her friends at kindergarten who are constantly talking about theirs.
Meanwhile, those in their teens may face a different type of peer influence. It could range from conforming to a behaviour or a type of dressing to indulging in risky activities such as smoking, drinking or taking drugs – just so they can be part of a group.
While we have often talked and worried about the negative effects of peer influence, there is also a positive side to it.
According to Kidshealth.org, it is comforting for children to face life’s challenges with friends who are also facing similar challenges and share their interests.
When children accept each other, they learn about honesty and sincerity. They learn the values of loyalty and how to build healthy and lasting friendships.
Peers can set good examples for each other, such as in wanting to do well in school or extra-curricular activities. Good friends listen, discuss problems, share ideas and give feedback. They help each other think through issues and decisions.
Such children also have more courage to try out new things, make new friends, or learn a new skill when they have one another for company and give each other moral support.
Peers may influence your child to join a club, listen to a genre of music they are otherwise not accustomed to, or for younger ones, eat some vegetables!
When our children are young, we play a part in determining who their peers are. We arrange play dates for them with children whose parents are our friends. We get to know the parents of their classmates in kindergarten through common activities at school or at birthday parties.
In this way, we are in better control of their exposure to positive peer influence.
As our children grow older, they would be spending more time with their peers and, therefore, be more exposed to situations where they are pressured to follow the crowd in their activities, dressing style, and behaviour for example.
Pre-teens and teenagers have a stronger need to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance, and if they are not able to find support at home, they would gravitate towards their peers whom they spend much time with, such as their friends.
It is our duty as parents to guide our young ones in such situations in order to build their confidence, self-esteem, assertiveness, values and character.
Help them widen their social circle in a healthy and positive setting by encouraging them to take up new activities and responsibilities such as joining a uniformed group or volunteering at an animal shelter for example.
From the very beginning, we need to encourage open communication with our children for them to feel comfortable to approach us for advice or help.
Without being too intrusive, find out who their friends are, what they talk about and do when they are together to get a better picture of the peer influence your children are exposed to.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
The joy of reading
theSun, Tue, 22 Feb 2011
I would like to share here some of the things I did as a parent, and a few ideas that I think might help a child get interested in books and find reading fun.
As one of my personal interests is reading, I love visiting bookstores (and would love it more if I could buy all the books I want!). Like everything else, it is good to model what we want to instil in our children.
Take your children along and show them the books in the children’s section and let them choose the books they want.
Be flexible where their choice of books is concerned. Try not to dictate what they should read, even if they choose Angelina Ballerina instead of All About Insects for instance.
Allow your children to read books that they like, even if it is the umpteenth animal story. If that’s what they want, it’s all right, as long as the contents are appropriate.
Make reading with your children part of your daily routine. I used to read to my child during the day and at bedtime as well. Now that she knows how to read on her own, she reads and re-reads many of her books, comics, and magazines.
When your children have begun learning how to read, encourage and provide them with lots of opportunities to build their newfound skill in a fun and relaxed way. Avoid turning the activity into a chore.
As children have a shorter attention span, limit reading time to between 15 and 20 minutes. It is not a must to finish the entire story in one sitting. With some children, you may not even get to finish one sentence on a page.
Babies simply love to hear your voice, look at the pictures, or turn the pages rather than wanting to know why Jack climbed the beanstalk.
Toddlers may ask lots of ‘why’, ‘where’, ‘what’, ‘when’ and ‘how’ questions while older children may want to discuss certain parts of the book in greater depth.
Reading does not have to be limited to books alone. For example, while on a car journey, look out for billboards and turn reading them into a game, or get some audio books for them to listen to.
While grocery shopping, ask them to help read your shopping list, the signboards indicating the product categories or words on the food packaging.
Show them interesting and child-appropriate pictures or comics from newspapers or magazines and read the captions together.
Get together with other family members for a fun reading-aloud session. Take turns to read, change your voices to suit the characters in the story, and make sound effects for the story to come alive.
You may even go a step further and get simple props to role-play the story after you have read it. Play ‘what if’ and create your own sequel to the story you had just read.
When activities become fun and the children feel involved, they would become more and more interested.
One thing I learnt in my parenting journey is that a child’s interest in something is easier to develop and sustain when there is some variety and fun involved.
I would like to share here some of the things I did as a parent, and a few ideas that I think might help a child get interested in books and find reading fun.
As one of my personal interests is reading, I love visiting bookstores (and would love it more if I could buy all the books I want!). Like everything else, it is good to model what we want to instil in our children.
Take your children along and show them the books in the children’s section and let them choose the books they want.
Be flexible where their choice of books is concerned. Try not to dictate what they should read, even if they choose Angelina Ballerina instead of All About Insects for instance.
Allow your children to read books that they like, even if it is the umpteenth animal story. If that’s what they want, it’s all right, as long as the contents are appropriate.
Make reading with your children part of your daily routine. I used to read to my child during the day and at bedtime as well. Now that she knows how to read on her own, she reads and re-reads many of her books, comics, and magazines.
When your children have begun learning how to read, encourage and provide them with lots of opportunities to build their newfound skill in a fun and relaxed way. Avoid turning the activity into a chore.
As children have a shorter attention span, limit reading time to between 15 and 20 minutes. It is not a must to finish the entire story in one sitting. With some children, you may not even get to finish one sentence on a page.
Babies simply love to hear your voice, look at the pictures, or turn the pages rather than wanting to know why Jack climbed the beanstalk.
Toddlers may ask lots of ‘why’, ‘where’, ‘what’, ‘when’ and ‘how’ questions while older children may want to discuss certain parts of the book in greater depth.
Reading does not have to be limited to books alone. For example, while on a car journey, look out for billboards and turn reading them into a game, or get some audio books for them to listen to.
While grocery shopping, ask them to help read your shopping list, the signboards indicating the product categories or words on the food packaging.
Show them interesting and child-appropriate pictures or comics from newspapers or magazines and read the captions together.
Get together with other family members for a fun reading-aloud session. Take turns to read, change your voices to suit the characters in the story, and make sound effects for the story to come alive.
You may even go a step further and get simple props to role-play the story after you have read it. Play ‘what if’ and create your own sequel to the story you had just read.
When activities become fun and the children feel involved, they would become more and more interested.
One thing I learnt in my parenting journey is that a child’s interest in something is easier to develop and sustain when there is some variety and fun involved.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Netting the benefits
The internet is a useful tool and repository of information for our parenting needs if used wisely
theSun, Tue, 08 Feb 2011
With the arrival of the internet, everything is now at our fingertips. We can read newspapers, books, watch television programmes or movies, or listen to the radio through it.
There is also lot of information we can get by just doing a simple search online when we need ideas, tips and advice on anything and everything. This is especially helpful as we go on our parenting journey.
There are forums and social networking groups we can join too to share our parenting experiences, discuss opinions or get advice from fellow parents and experts.
We must, of course, be very careful when choosing the sites we get our information from, and when we sign up as a member of a networking site or forum.
While there are many websites out there that are genuine in their intentions to help parents, there are also those that are out there with bad intentions.
Many a time, when I run out of ideas on how to occupy my child without using the television as babysitter, I turn to the internet.
Many cartoons, movies or characters on television have websites which include interactive activities or games featuring them. These are good alternatives to one-way, passive viewing of the animated version on television.
Parenting websites and those focused on child education have sections with learning games and activities for reading, math, art and craft, or science projects.
There are also longer-term projects through the Net you could get your child involved in. For instance, older schoolgoing children can be encouraged to write poems, songs, stories or blog.
There are websites that provide guides and attractive resources such as suggested storylines and colourful pictures for your child to develop his writing skills.
For a fee, some also offer a publishing service where your child’s writings can be made into a book as a keepsake or gift to loved ones.
Just as how we take precautions when we go online ourselves, be mindful also of your child’s safety and privacy when you allow him to use the internet.
If he wishes to blog, help him to set it up with all the necessary privacy settings to prevent strangers from contacting or finding out about him and his activities.
When your child is online, remember to supervise his activities to ensure he does not intentionally or unintentionally visit sites that are unsuitable for children.
Never leave a child to use the internet alone. Install blockers or monitoring software on your computer to prevent them from entering sites not meant for children.
If you feel uncomfortable allowing your child to use the internet for educational and fun activities or to write, keep a blog, or show any long-term presence online, you could still use the ideas, information and resources from it and adapt them to suit your needs.
Many of the activities are printable as well so this allows you to convert the online version for use in the traditional pencil and paper way.
With the internet, parents are certainly not lacking when it comes to parenting information, albeit an overload at times, but we still need to exercise our wisdom and discretion when applying the knowledge for ourselves and our children.
theSun, Tue, 08 Feb 2011
With the arrival of the internet, everything is now at our fingertips. We can read newspapers, books, watch television programmes or movies, or listen to the radio through it.
There is also lot of information we can get by just doing a simple search online when we need ideas, tips and advice on anything and everything. This is especially helpful as we go on our parenting journey.
There are forums and social networking groups we can join too to share our parenting experiences, discuss opinions or get advice from fellow parents and experts.
We must, of course, be very careful when choosing the sites we get our information from, and when we sign up as a member of a networking site or forum.
While there are many websites out there that are genuine in their intentions to help parents, there are also those that are out there with bad intentions.
Many a time, when I run out of ideas on how to occupy my child without using the television as babysitter, I turn to the internet.
Many cartoons, movies or characters on television have websites which include interactive activities or games featuring them. These are good alternatives to one-way, passive viewing of the animated version on television.
Parenting websites and those focused on child education have sections with learning games and activities for reading, math, art and craft, or science projects.
There are also longer-term projects through the Net you could get your child involved in. For instance, older schoolgoing children can be encouraged to write poems, songs, stories or blog.
There are websites that provide guides and attractive resources such as suggested storylines and colourful pictures for your child to develop his writing skills.
For a fee, some also offer a publishing service where your child’s writings can be made into a book as a keepsake or gift to loved ones.
Just as how we take precautions when we go online ourselves, be mindful also of your child’s safety and privacy when you allow him to use the internet.
If he wishes to blog, help him to set it up with all the necessary privacy settings to prevent strangers from contacting or finding out about him and his activities.
When your child is online, remember to supervise his activities to ensure he does not intentionally or unintentionally visit sites that are unsuitable for children.
Never leave a child to use the internet alone. Install blockers or monitoring software on your computer to prevent them from entering sites not meant for children.
If you feel uncomfortable allowing your child to use the internet for educational and fun activities or to write, keep a blog, or show any long-term presence online, you could still use the ideas, information and resources from it and adapt them to suit your needs.
Many of the activities are printable as well so this allows you to convert the online version for use in the traditional pencil and paper way.
With the internet, parents are certainly not lacking when it comes to parenting information, albeit an overload at times, but we still need to exercise our wisdom and discretion when applying the knowledge for ourselves and our children.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
A dawdling issue
Young children are not conscious of time but with patience and preseverance, they can learn to get their act together
theSun, Tue, 25 Jan 2011
INSTEAD of dressing up quickly for school in the morning, my child reads her storybook between wearing her uniform, combing her hair and coming downstairs for breakfast. If I don’t yell "hurry up", she’d probably be late for school.
A check with other mothers assures me that I’m not alone in this constant battle against time and a dawdling child, be it getting ready for school, doing homework or going out.
It appears that dawdling is quite characteristic of young children, some more than others. This is because young children are not conscious of time and, therefore, lack a sense of urgency.
They live in the moment. They have yet to develop the ability to control their need for instant gratification or think and plan ahead.
Even when they have learnt to tell the time and know what they need to do, they tend to be easily distracted.
In my search for practical solutions, I managed to come up with a few I learnt from reading and others I’m already doing on my own. They include:
Prepare ahead of time
To reduce morning rush stress, prepare as much as possible the night before. Fill her water bottle and set aside all breakfast necessities in a tray. This way, you reduce time spent in the morning gathering up everything from the various sections of your kitchen.
If you need to cook breakfast or school lunch, cut, slice, prepare whatever you can the night before so that they can be easily cooked or assembled in the morning.
Help your child set aside her clothes before she goes to bed so that she doesn’t waste time looking for matching socks or a missing hair-band.
Be specific
For example, instead of saying: "Hurry up", you should say: "Stop reading and please put on your clothes now".
Break instructions down to a few steps
When I’m in a hurry, I tend to ramble off reminders and instructions in a long string of words. Keep instructions short as your child will most likely forget all that you ask, especially when she is distracted.
Minimise distractions
At the time and place where you know your child needs to get ready, keep her away from distractions such as toys, the television, or storybooks. Make sure toys and books are put away and the television is not on.
Build in incentives
Tell your child that if she can get ready or finish her homework on time, she can have extra time to play later. Remind her also of the consequences if she is too slow or late.
Invent games
One mother as mentioned in a Parenting Institute article published by SchoolFamily.com came up with a game called Beat the Clock to help her son focus and finish his homework.
After determining roughly the time taken for him to finish his work, she set the timer with five minutes extra to make it possible for her son to achieve the goal and win the game.
She said: "The game enabled him to concentrate on the task at hand." And it "made him realise on his own what he was capable of doing without being nagged or threatened".
Lastly, don’t forget patience and perseverance. They should grow out of the habit of dawdling eventually.
theSun, Tue, 25 Jan 2011
INSTEAD of dressing up quickly for school in the morning, my child reads her storybook between wearing her uniform, combing her hair and coming downstairs for breakfast. If I don’t yell "hurry up", she’d probably be late for school.
A check with other mothers assures me that I’m not alone in this constant battle against time and a dawdling child, be it getting ready for school, doing homework or going out.
It appears that dawdling is quite characteristic of young children, some more than others. This is because young children are not conscious of time and, therefore, lack a sense of urgency.
They live in the moment. They have yet to develop the ability to control their need for instant gratification or think and plan ahead.
Even when they have learnt to tell the time and know what they need to do, they tend to be easily distracted.
In my search for practical solutions, I managed to come up with a few I learnt from reading and others I’m already doing on my own. They include:
Prepare ahead of time
To reduce morning rush stress, prepare as much as possible the night before. Fill her water bottle and set aside all breakfast necessities in a tray. This way, you reduce time spent in the morning gathering up everything from the various sections of your kitchen.
If you need to cook breakfast or school lunch, cut, slice, prepare whatever you can the night before so that they can be easily cooked or assembled in the morning.
Help your child set aside her clothes before she goes to bed so that she doesn’t waste time looking for matching socks or a missing hair-band.
Be specific
For example, instead of saying: "Hurry up", you should say: "Stop reading and please put on your clothes now".
Break instructions down to a few steps
When I’m in a hurry, I tend to ramble off reminders and instructions in a long string of words. Keep instructions short as your child will most likely forget all that you ask, especially when she is distracted.
Minimise distractions
At the time and place where you know your child needs to get ready, keep her away from distractions such as toys, the television, or storybooks. Make sure toys and books are put away and the television is not on.
Build in incentives
Tell your child that if she can get ready or finish her homework on time, she can have extra time to play later. Remind her also of the consequences if she is too slow or late.
Invent games
One mother as mentioned in a Parenting Institute article published by SchoolFamily.com came up with a game called Beat the Clock to help her son focus and finish his homework.
After determining roughly the time taken for him to finish his work, she set the timer with five minutes extra to make it possible for her son to achieve the goal and win the game.
She said: "The game enabled him to concentrate on the task at hand." And it "made him realise on his own what he was capable of doing without being nagged or threatened".
Lastly, don’t forget patience and perseverance. They should grow out of the habit of dawdling eventually.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
On his first pair of wheels
There are many ways to teach children to ride a bicycle but don’t forget the safety gear
theSun, Tue, 11 Jan 2011
I HAD not realised that there is actually more than one way to learn how to ride a bicycle until the time when I had to teach my child. I thought all along that the way I learnt, that is using training wheels, is the only way.
When it came for my child to learn, I wondered if there is a ‘best’ and preferably painless way for her to pick up the skill.
As usual, I turned to the Internet for help. A few keywords in everyone’s favourite search engine turned up numerous suggestions.
One is the method I used when I was a child. Riding a bike with training wheels helps the child learn how to pedal and steer first.
Once he can pedal and steer well, you gradually raise the training wheels off the ground to make the bike unstable so that he then learns how to balance. You later remove both training wheels when they have become obsolete and he has gained confidence.
Another method, however, suggests that he learns how to balance on the bike first. This method requires you to remove the pedals and training wheels.
Adjust the seat all the way down or to the level where his feet can touch the ground. With the child on the bike, push it forward and as it moves, ask him to lift his feet off the ground to get a feel of balancing while moving.
You can practise this on a slight, even incline or grassy slope.
This helps him control his balance and allows him to put his feet down when he feels he is going to fall.
Once he is comfortable balancing while moving forward, he can practise steering to the left and right. Upon gaining confidence, you can then reattach the pedals for him to practise pedalling.
You may need to hold the handlebars and seat to keep the bike upright for him to start off but once he is riding, remove your hands so that he can feel the balancing and steering on his own while pedalling.
Keep practising this way until he is stable and you can then raise the seat to a more comfortable and suitable position.
Meanwhile, another method is to immediately get him to pedal and steer without training wheels. You need to hold him by the shoulders to help him keep his balance. Do not hold the handlebars or seat as he will not be able to feel the balance or steering on his own.
As he loses balance slightly and leans to one side, he will feel the pressure from your hands on his shoulder and will try to correct the lean and keep his balance.
This requires you to work a little harder as you have to run along with the bike. Be careful not to trip as the bike swerves out of balance or if he brakes suddenly.
Whichever method you use, remember to keep your child safe by having him wear a helmet, gloves, wrist, knee and elbow pads. Do not rush him to master the skill but let him take his time.
theSun, Tue, 11 Jan 2011
I HAD not realised that there is actually more than one way to learn how to ride a bicycle until the time when I had to teach my child. I thought all along that the way I learnt, that is using training wheels, is the only way.
When it came for my child to learn, I wondered if there is a ‘best’ and preferably painless way for her to pick up the skill.
As usual, I turned to the Internet for help. A few keywords in everyone’s favourite search engine turned up numerous suggestions.
One is the method I used when I was a child. Riding a bike with training wheels helps the child learn how to pedal and steer first.
Once he can pedal and steer well, you gradually raise the training wheels off the ground to make the bike unstable so that he then learns how to balance. You later remove both training wheels when they have become obsolete and he has gained confidence.
Another method, however, suggests that he learns how to balance on the bike first. This method requires you to remove the pedals and training wheels.
Adjust the seat all the way down or to the level where his feet can touch the ground. With the child on the bike, push it forward and as it moves, ask him to lift his feet off the ground to get a feel of balancing while moving.
You can practise this on a slight, even incline or grassy slope.
This helps him control his balance and allows him to put his feet down when he feels he is going to fall.
Once he is comfortable balancing while moving forward, he can practise steering to the left and right. Upon gaining confidence, you can then reattach the pedals for him to practise pedalling.
You may need to hold the handlebars and seat to keep the bike upright for him to start off but once he is riding, remove your hands so that he can feel the balancing and steering on his own while pedalling.
Keep practising this way until he is stable and you can then raise the seat to a more comfortable and suitable position.
Meanwhile, another method is to immediately get him to pedal and steer without training wheels. You need to hold him by the shoulders to help him keep his balance. Do not hold the handlebars or seat as he will not be able to feel the balance or steering on his own.
As he loses balance slightly and leans to one side, he will feel the pressure from your hands on his shoulder and will try to correct the lean and keep his balance.
This requires you to work a little harder as you have to run along with the bike. Be careful not to trip as the bike swerves out of balance or if he brakes suddenly.
Whichever method you use, remember to keep your child safe by having him wear a helmet, gloves, wrist, knee and elbow pads. Do not rush him to master the skill but let him take his time.
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