Take the necessary time and steps to teach your child to love the written word
theSun, Tue, 03 Feb 2009
I FEEL blessed that my daughter loves to read although, at times, too excessively. Some parents and friends tell me it’s better she reads excessively rather than like their children who prefer not to or are slow in picking up the habit.
I don’t profess to be an expert here but I would like to share what I have done to cultivate this love for books in my child.
Start them young
I started reading to my daughter even before she was born. I read that talking to your unborn child would help your child bond faster with you as babies can recognise their mother’s voice the minute they are born. Since I love to read, I used that to ‘talk’ to her when I ran out of things to say.
When she was a newborn, I continued to read to her as part of the bonding process. The reading sessions became more exciting with different voice tones, funny noises, gestures and actions as she grew into a toddler and pre-schooler.
Get them involved
Read ‘with’ them instead of ‘to’ them. As my daughter grew older and could understand more words, reading became a fun joint-activity.
We pointed out pictures, got her to turn the pages, lift the flaps, and answered her questions. We frequented bookstores together and I let her choose her own books.
Get creative
Children love surprises and new things. My husband and I sometimes add different characters or change the plot of her favourite story to make it more exciting.
We also create totally new stories of our own using familiar characters from some of the books we had read together. We encourage her to create her own stories, writing it down as she narrated so we could read them again in future. We also encouraged her to illustrate her stories.
Be an example
Children are copycats. If you are polite, they will be polite. Read and they will too. It was easier for us to set an example since my husband and I both enjoy reading.
Let them see you read. Share with them what you are reading if it is age-appropriate. It could be an interesting piece of news with a picture in the newspaper or magazine, a humorous story from your book or even a comic strip.
Provide variety
Expose them to books of various themes and topics such as adventure, humour, educational, animals, the human body, activity books … the list goes on.
Children are curious and love to explore new things, including books. Keep them motivated with variety so they do not get bored.
Indulge their interest
Do not curb their interest on subjects that you may think is not interesting or suitable, as long as the contents are not harmful and you are there to guide them.
There is nothing wrong, for instance, for your child to read about the art of tattoo. It is good general knowledge although that has been overshadowed by its negative connotations to street gangs and extreme behaviour. That is where your guidance steps in.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Balance is the key
The rampant growth of computer video games has become a worry for parents
theSun,Tue, 13 Jan 2009
COMPUTER and video gaming has become one of the top pasttimes among children these days, which has resulted in constant conflicting views among the gaming industry, researchers, educators and parents - mainly about the pros and cons.
There are many games and activities that are educational, that help children learn and develop. They complement what a child learns in school in an interactive and fun way. I guess that is why some refer to it as ‘edutainment’.
Besides complementing lessons in school, games which are developed for specific purposes such as teaching proper values and inculcating good habits can be beneficial. Games with elements of violence, profanity and sex, however, should be avoided at all costs.
If uncontrolled and unsupervised, children could indulge in computer and video games excessively. Some games are so engaging that they become addictive and this could affect their health. This is especially true when they snack on junk food while playing, forgoing physical exercise, social and outdoor activities.
The gaming industry, however, has somewhat compensated for this by developing games that require actual physical movement such as dancing, tennis, golf, and bowling.
A popular one is the Nintendo Wii, which provides a handheld device like a TV remote control (cleverly named the Wii-mote!) which works using motion-sensor technology.
When playing tennis for example, you need to literally swing the Wii-mote like how you would a racquet, or for younger children, you need to physically hop or jump over a puddle you see on the screen to earn points.
But too much screen time could still affect a child’s vision. With the child’s eyes focused on the screen with less blinking, this could result in tiredness, irritation and dryness of the eyes. As a result, the eyes may have difficulty focusing, causing blurry vision, fatigue and headaches.
A Japanese researcher, Professor Ryuta Kawashima, revealed that his study using computer imaging of brain activity of children playing Nintendo games proves that they only used parts of the brain that involved vision and movement.
Meanwhile, children who were given an arithmetic exercise adding single-digit numbers continuously for 30 minutes showed brain activity throughout both left and right hemispheres of their frontal lobe, the areas associated with learning, memory, emotion and impulse control.
The gaming industry, of course, disagreed with his findings, saying that the focus of the study is too limited. What about passive TV-viewing, which was not in his scope of study, that used even less of the brain?
It is a fact that we as parents would have a hard time too in getting our children to choose some boring arithmetic activity over something that is truly fun like the Nintendo.
In my opinion, computer gaming, like everything else, is good when pursued in moderation. We should neither give free reign to, nor ban children from computer and video games. It is a positive experience when used with proper control and guidance but could cause problems with excessive use or misuse.
Completely disallowing would also have its repercussions as forbidden fruit could be most tempting and sweet. Parents must find a right balance.
Anna is ‘depriving’ her daughter of Nintendo, much to the girl’s disappointment, as she thinks online and CD-rom games are more than enough for now. Her parenting articles for theSun can be found in http://youmekids.blogspot.com.
theSun,Tue, 13 Jan 2009
COMPUTER and video gaming has become one of the top pasttimes among children these days, which has resulted in constant conflicting views among the gaming industry, researchers, educators and parents - mainly about the pros and cons.
There are many games and activities that are educational, that help children learn and develop. They complement what a child learns in school in an interactive and fun way. I guess that is why some refer to it as ‘edutainment’.
Besides complementing lessons in school, games which are developed for specific purposes such as teaching proper values and inculcating good habits can be beneficial. Games with elements of violence, profanity and sex, however, should be avoided at all costs.
If uncontrolled and unsupervised, children could indulge in computer and video games excessively. Some games are so engaging that they become addictive and this could affect their health. This is especially true when they snack on junk food while playing, forgoing physical exercise, social and outdoor activities.
The gaming industry, however, has somewhat compensated for this by developing games that require actual physical movement such as dancing, tennis, golf, and bowling.
A popular one is the Nintendo Wii, which provides a handheld device like a TV remote control (cleverly named the Wii-mote!) which works using motion-sensor technology.
When playing tennis for example, you need to literally swing the Wii-mote like how you would a racquet, or for younger children, you need to physically hop or jump over a puddle you see on the screen to earn points.
But too much screen time could still affect a child’s vision. With the child’s eyes focused on the screen with less blinking, this could result in tiredness, irritation and dryness of the eyes. As a result, the eyes may have difficulty focusing, causing blurry vision, fatigue and headaches.
A Japanese researcher, Professor Ryuta Kawashima, revealed that his study using computer imaging of brain activity of children playing Nintendo games proves that they only used parts of the brain that involved vision and movement.
Meanwhile, children who were given an arithmetic exercise adding single-digit numbers continuously for 30 minutes showed brain activity throughout both left and right hemispheres of their frontal lobe, the areas associated with learning, memory, emotion and impulse control.
The gaming industry, of course, disagreed with his findings, saying that the focus of the study is too limited. What about passive TV-viewing, which was not in his scope of study, that used even less of the brain?
It is a fact that we as parents would have a hard time too in getting our children to choose some boring arithmetic activity over something that is truly fun like the Nintendo.
In my opinion, computer gaming, like everything else, is good when pursued in moderation. We should neither give free reign to, nor ban children from computer and video games. It is a positive experience when used with proper control and guidance but could cause problems with excessive use or misuse.
Completely disallowing would also have its repercussions as forbidden fruit could be most tempting and sweet. Parents must find a right balance.
Anna is ‘depriving’ her daughter of Nintendo, much to the girl’s disappointment, as she thinks online and CD-rom games are more than enough for now. Her parenting articles for theSun can be found in http://youmekids.blogspot.com.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Making homework fun
Praise, love and support can help make doing homework a positive, enjoyable activity
theSun, Tues 30 Dec 2008
COME January, my daughter will begin her formal education in primary school. As she is a fun-loving and strong-minded child, I foresee new challenges in getting her to focus on homework and studies for longer periods as compared to what she has experienced so far in kindergarten.
The time spent on homework should be age-appropriate. Older children may be able to sit for a longer period of time to complete their homework while younger ones, who tend to have a shorter concentration span, could be given short breaks in between.
They might find it difficult to complete all their homework in one sitting and would feel frustrated if they are forced to do so. Allow them to stop for a short while every 15 minutes or so and motivate them with praise once they have completed one part of the homework.
It is good to designate a specific place for homework. It should be a quiet (with the television turned off) area, well-lit and with an adequate supply of stationery to enable the child to do his homework comfortably with minimal distraction.
Also find a suitable time for homework to be done. It should preferably be at the same time every day to establish a routine, and which is workable for the family to ensure schedules are met and other routines uninterrupted.
For it to be productive and effective, make sure that your children are in the right frame of mind and temperament. You may not want to get them to do their homework immediately after returning home from school as they could be tired. Allow them some leisure time to rest or release some pent-up energy.
Make homework a positive experience. We need to make a conscious effort to help our children view homework as something that helps them gain knowledge. Homework should not be viewed as a chore or punishment. We need to help them understand that we are there to help them if they need assistance. Provide them the love and support they need.
However, make sure that they understand that although you may guide them through their work, you would not provide the answers. This will teach them responsibility and independence.
Set a good example. When doing your own work at home such as research, writing a report or reading, try not to do it while watching television or talking on the phone.
When your children are doing their homework, you could sit with them and do some of your own work too. Show them that what they are learning can be applied to daily life. For example, if your children are doing some math homework, you could balance your cheque book or review your household budget.
Show interest in what your children are doing to help them feel supported and secure. Talk about school, read with them and ask them if they learned anything fun or interesting that day at school.
Praise, love and rewards can help encourage children to do their homework. When they feel good about their achievements, they develop confidence in taking on more difficult tasks.
Anna feels that children these days are given too much homework and tuition. Her parenting articles here can be found in her blog http://youmekids.blogspot.com.
theSun, Tues 30 Dec 2008
COME January, my daughter will begin her formal education in primary school. As she is a fun-loving and strong-minded child, I foresee new challenges in getting her to focus on homework and studies for longer periods as compared to what she has experienced so far in kindergarten.
The time spent on homework should be age-appropriate. Older children may be able to sit for a longer period of time to complete their homework while younger ones, who tend to have a shorter concentration span, could be given short breaks in between.
They might find it difficult to complete all their homework in one sitting and would feel frustrated if they are forced to do so. Allow them to stop for a short while every 15 minutes or so and motivate them with praise once they have completed one part of the homework.
It is good to designate a specific place for homework. It should be a quiet (with the television turned off) area, well-lit and with an adequate supply of stationery to enable the child to do his homework comfortably with minimal distraction.
Also find a suitable time for homework to be done. It should preferably be at the same time every day to establish a routine, and which is workable for the family to ensure schedules are met and other routines uninterrupted.
For it to be productive and effective, make sure that your children are in the right frame of mind and temperament. You may not want to get them to do their homework immediately after returning home from school as they could be tired. Allow them some leisure time to rest or release some pent-up energy.
Make homework a positive experience. We need to make a conscious effort to help our children view homework as something that helps them gain knowledge. Homework should not be viewed as a chore or punishment. We need to help them understand that we are there to help them if they need assistance. Provide them the love and support they need.
However, make sure that they understand that although you may guide them through their work, you would not provide the answers. This will teach them responsibility and independence.
Set a good example. When doing your own work at home such as research, writing a report or reading, try not to do it while watching television or talking on the phone.
When your children are doing their homework, you could sit with them and do some of your own work too. Show them that what they are learning can be applied to daily life. For example, if your children are doing some math homework, you could balance your cheque book or review your household budget.
Show interest in what your children are doing to help them feel supported and secure. Talk about school, read with them and ask them if they learned anything fun or interesting that day at school.
Praise, love and rewards can help encourage children to do their homework. When they feel good about their achievements, they develop confidence in taking on more difficult tasks.
Anna feels that children these days are given too much homework and tuition. Her parenting articles here can be found in her blog http://youmekids.blogspot.com.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Having a stress-free vacation
theSun, tues 16 Dec 2008
BEFORE the kids came along, all you did was pack your own bag and off you went for your holiday! If you were driving, you’d probably be able to get to your destination without having to stop if the journey was not too long.
If you were taking a plane, you’d probably wonder what in-flight movies you could watch and looked forward to catching up on reading or sleeping.
With young children in tow, however, these ideas are best abandoned lest you stress yourself out trying to please yourself and everybody. The time spent in getting from point A to B needs to be considered too.
When travelling with children, you need a bag of tricks up your sleeve to minimise the impatience, boredom, restlessness or what is commonly termed ‘cabin fever’.
Many a time, I got caught with persistent questions of "Are we there yet?" when travelling with my child.
Planning ahead saves you the irritation of having to deal with the little ‘buzzing bees’ that keep coming back to you with questions or complaints.
Bring along some of their favourite things to keep them distracted and occupied such as books, card games, or CDs.
Pack along some new ones too, to get them excited and happy.
Have some healthy snacks and drinks handy as hungry children could get a little antsy at times.
Pack a small bag of presents wrapped in a few layers. These presents could be small toys they’ve forgotten about or cheap novelties.
Dish them out sparingly to make your stash last the whole trip. The additional layers of wrapping would keep the anticipation going into extra time, making the discovery more exciting – hopefully.
For older children, you could stick a page from an activity book onto each layer of wrapping as part of the ‘game’ rules.
They would need to solve the puzzle or complete the simple activity before they move on to unwrapping the next layer and the next, before they reach their ‘prize’.
On a car trip, have a competition to see who is fastest in totaling up the plate numbers of passing cars. Play ‘I Spy’, read billboards and tabulate the most-advertised category of products. Besides keeping them occupied, they would get some math and reading exercise done the fun way.
Keep them quiet with an activity book of word puzzles, stickers, mazes, or dot-to-dots. Or compile one of your own by visiting many children’s websites which offer free printable games and puzzles.
Instead of reading to them or getting them to read by themselves, bring along some children’s audio books or better yet, download some free ones onto your PDA or iPod.
I chanced upon this website called Storynory (http://storynory.com) which provides free downloadable audio stories including classics, fairytales, and original ones.
Their stories have become my lifesaver more than once, not only while travelling, but during fidgety moments and even when Daddy is too tired to tell a string of bedtime stories!
Creativity and simplicity are the keywords.
Since you can’t bring along your entire playroom, think of small but fun items to pack into your bag of tricks.
Even a few small disposable empty bottles to match the caps with could keep a toddler busy for some time.
BEFORE the kids came along, all you did was pack your own bag and off you went for your holiday! If you were driving, you’d probably be able to get to your destination without having to stop if the journey was not too long.
If you were taking a plane, you’d probably wonder what in-flight movies you could watch and looked forward to catching up on reading or sleeping.
With young children in tow, however, these ideas are best abandoned lest you stress yourself out trying to please yourself and everybody. The time spent in getting from point A to B needs to be considered too.
When travelling with children, you need a bag of tricks up your sleeve to minimise the impatience, boredom, restlessness or what is commonly termed ‘cabin fever’.
Many a time, I got caught with persistent questions of "Are we there yet?" when travelling with my child.
Planning ahead saves you the irritation of having to deal with the little ‘buzzing bees’ that keep coming back to you with questions or complaints.
Bring along some of their favourite things to keep them distracted and occupied such as books, card games, or CDs.
Pack along some new ones too, to get them excited and happy.
Have some healthy snacks and drinks handy as hungry children could get a little antsy at times.
Pack a small bag of presents wrapped in a few layers. These presents could be small toys they’ve forgotten about or cheap novelties.
Dish them out sparingly to make your stash last the whole trip. The additional layers of wrapping would keep the anticipation going into extra time, making the discovery more exciting – hopefully.
For older children, you could stick a page from an activity book onto each layer of wrapping as part of the ‘game’ rules.
They would need to solve the puzzle or complete the simple activity before they move on to unwrapping the next layer and the next, before they reach their ‘prize’.
On a car trip, have a competition to see who is fastest in totaling up the plate numbers of passing cars. Play ‘I Spy’, read billboards and tabulate the most-advertised category of products. Besides keeping them occupied, they would get some math and reading exercise done the fun way.
Keep them quiet with an activity book of word puzzles, stickers, mazes, or dot-to-dots. Or compile one of your own by visiting many children’s websites which offer free printable games and puzzles.
Instead of reading to them or getting them to read by themselves, bring along some children’s audio books or better yet, download some free ones onto your PDA or iPod.
I chanced upon this website called Storynory (http://storynory.com) which provides free downloadable audio stories including classics, fairytales, and original ones.
Their stories have become my lifesaver more than once, not only while travelling, but during fidgety moments and even when Daddy is too tired to tell a string of bedtime stories!
Creativity and simplicity are the keywords.
Since you can’t bring along your entire playroom, think of small but fun items to pack into your bag of tricks.
Even a few small disposable empty bottles to match the caps with could keep a toddler busy for some time.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
For a happy holiday
The right kind of preparations before a trip ensure no tears from the children and a great time for the whole family
theSun, Tues 2 Dec 2008
WHILE travel arrangements can be easily done, preparing for a fun and stress-free travel with young ones needs a little more effort.
Start with a detailed checklist of things to pack. It is best to start packing at least a few days or even a week beforehand. Leaving packing to the last minute increases the risk of forgetting certain small but essential stuff such as toiletries and first-aid items.
If you travel often, have a separate set of toiletries. This way, you can still shampoo your child’s hair on the day of your travel, and not risk forgetting to put the shampoo into the bag.
Have a carry-all bag for diapers, formula, bottles, drinking water, snacks, wet wipes, spare clothes and some items to keep them entertained.
Make sure the bag has convenient compartments or pockets to keep everything organised. It saves you the frustration of rummaging through the mass of items to find that elusive pacifier to soothe the screaming baby by your side.
Pack small items, odd-shaped items and things that don’t stay upright well in hard containers before you put them into the carry-all.
For example, put milk bottles in a pouch or a plastic container that fits snugly so that they do not topple over other items. This maintains order and keeps the bottles from falling over when you place the bag down.
It also helps to keep the carry-all in proper shape for you to carry it comfortably when you are on the go.
Also pack an extra T-shirt for yourself just in case your baby throws up on you or your toddler decides to let your shirt taste some of his applesauce.
Get convenient flight times. Avoid stopovers if possible. Imagine waking two sleeping children, dragging a stroller and car seat while carrying a little baby and two carry-alls across terminals.
Try to time your flights so that if a stopover is unavoidable, the children can read, play or walk around the airport, and hopefully nap during the flight.
Get hotel rooms, holiday apartments or even suites that are well-equipped with at least a mini fridge, kitchenette or a microwave oven. You need more space for all the paraphernalia when you have children.
Having to hop over strollers, car seats, luggage and shopping bags before you reach the bathroom is not part of holiday fun. And if you have a baby, you would need space for a cot, be it one provided or a portable one you have brought along.
Then there’s milk or children’s juices that you need to keep cool in a fridge or some oatmeal that you need to make in the kitchenette.
Ordering room service all the time could be expensive and feeding children in a comfortable and controlled environment such as your room, suite or apartment would be more manageable and less stressful than eating out at a restaurant.
It’s the school holidays so start making travel plans with your children if you haven’t done so already.
theSun, Tues 2 Dec 2008
WHILE travel arrangements can be easily done, preparing for a fun and stress-free travel with young ones needs a little more effort.
Start with a detailed checklist of things to pack. It is best to start packing at least a few days or even a week beforehand. Leaving packing to the last minute increases the risk of forgetting certain small but essential stuff such as toiletries and first-aid items.
If you travel often, have a separate set of toiletries. This way, you can still shampoo your child’s hair on the day of your travel, and not risk forgetting to put the shampoo into the bag.
Have a carry-all bag for diapers, formula, bottles, drinking water, snacks, wet wipes, spare clothes and some items to keep them entertained.
Make sure the bag has convenient compartments or pockets to keep everything organised. It saves you the frustration of rummaging through the mass of items to find that elusive pacifier to soothe the screaming baby by your side.
Pack small items, odd-shaped items and things that don’t stay upright well in hard containers before you put them into the carry-all.
For example, put milk bottles in a pouch or a plastic container that fits snugly so that they do not topple over other items. This maintains order and keeps the bottles from falling over when you place the bag down.
It also helps to keep the carry-all in proper shape for you to carry it comfortably when you are on the go.
Also pack an extra T-shirt for yourself just in case your baby throws up on you or your toddler decides to let your shirt taste some of his applesauce.
Get convenient flight times. Avoid stopovers if possible. Imagine waking two sleeping children, dragging a stroller and car seat while carrying a little baby and two carry-alls across terminals.
Try to time your flights so that if a stopover is unavoidable, the children can read, play or walk around the airport, and hopefully nap during the flight.
Get hotel rooms, holiday apartments or even suites that are well-equipped with at least a mini fridge, kitchenette or a microwave oven. You need more space for all the paraphernalia when you have children.
Having to hop over strollers, car seats, luggage and shopping bags before you reach the bathroom is not part of holiday fun. And if you have a baby, you would need space for a cot, be it one provided or a portable one you have brought along.
Then there’s milk or children’s juices that you need to keep cool in a fridge or some oatmeal that you need to make in the kitchenette.
Ordering room service all the time could be expensive and feeding children in a comfortable and controlled environment such as your room, suite or apartment would be more manageable and less stressful than eating out at a restaurant.
It’s the school holidays so start making travel plans with your children if you haven’t done so already.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Moving Pains
There are ways to cope with the stress of the shift to a new home
theSun, Tues 18 Nov 2008
RIGHT now, my daughter is very excited about our impending move to a new home. To her, a new home means the realisation of her dream of having a pet dog and a playroom. While adults are fully aware of what is involved and how to cope physically and emotionally with the move, children’s reaction depends on their age and personality.
All the packing and sorting create some confusion and disorder in the household. They could sap our energy and inadvertently cause us to pay less attention to our children. Tempers could fl are more easily and we could become impatient amidst the chaos. If we adults feel stress and anxiety with encountering too many new and different things, what more the children?
Babies and toddlers are especially sensitive to the changes in their environment, including our stress and anxiety. Try to keep their routine as normal as possible with regular meals, naps, baths and play times. While we may be busy, we need to continue spending time playing or reading with them. This gives us a break too and helps our children feel secure.
If you are moving within the neighbourhood, the change may not affect the children too badly as they could continue going to the same school, playground and shops. Their daily activities and encounters remain somewhat unchanged. The minor changes could involve familiarising themselves with a new route to school or re-learning certain household rules.
Moving further away to a different state or country, however, would mean a complete and drastic change. Coping with the physical move and emotional confusion could lead to temporary behavioural problems among children. They could feel a sense of loss as they have to leave things, places, relatives and friends behind.
Going to a new school and making new friends is a stressful experience. Depending on the child’s age, he may not understand everything that is going on and become more attention-seeking or vulnerable to tears and tantrums; or he could become rude, stubborn or disobedient, resenting you for unsettling his comfort zone.
While it is impossible to bring their best friend along, we could comfort them with the idea that they could still stay in touch, write or visit occasionally. If distance permits, start making friends with neighbours and visiting the local library or playground even before your move to allow you and your children time to ease into the new surroundings gradually.
When packing, remember to keep their favourites close at hand. Packing and sealing your toddler’s favourite teddy in a box would be a big mistake. Get the older children involved in developing checklists, sorting, packing and unpacking, and in simple decisions for the new home such as the colour of their rooms, where they would like their toys and books to be kept.
The general idea is to minimise the disruptions to their daily routines and activities and ease them into the new home and surroundings. Continuity helps them settle down better. Share with them how certain things could be different for them and prepare them with what to expect. Tell them that it is all right to feel anxious or afraid and that you are with them. Help them see the benefi ts of the move and remember to have fun. With children, we won’t go wrong when we include fun and love in everything we do with them.
theSun, Tues 18 Nov 2008
RIGHT now, my daughter is very excited about our impending move to a new home. To her, a new home means the realisation of her dream of having a pet dog and a playroom. While adults are fully aware of what is involved and how to cope physically and emotionally with the move, children’s reaction depends on their age and personality.
All the packing and sorting create some confusion and disorder in the household. They could sap our energy and inadvertently cause us to pay less attention to our children. Tempers could fl are more easily and we could become impatient amidst the chaos. If we adults feel stress and anxiety with encountering too many new and different things, what more the children?
Babies and toddlers are especially sensitive to the changes in their environment, including our stress and anxiety. Try to keep their routine as normal as possible with regular meals, naps, baths and play times. While we may be busy, we need to continue spending time playing or reading with them. This gives us a break too and helps our children feel secure.
If you are moving within the neighbourhood, the change may not affect the children too badly as they could continue going to the same school, playground and shops. Their daily activities and encounters remain somewhat unchanged. The minor changes could involve familiarising themselves with a new route to school or re-learning certain household rules.
Moving further away to a different state or country, however, would mean a complete and drastic change. Coping with the physical move and emotional confusion could lead to temporary behavioural problems among children. They could feel a sense of loss as they have to leave things, places, relatives and friends behind.
Going to a new school and making new friends is a stressful experience. Depending on the child’s age, he may not understand everything that is going on and become more attention-seeking or vulnerable to tears and tantrums; or he could become rude, stubborn or disobedient, resenting you for unsettling his comfort zone.
While it is impossible to bring their best friend along, we could comfort them with the idea that they could still stay in touch, write or visit occasionally. If distance permits, start making friends with neighbours and visiting the local library or playground even before your move to allow you and your children time to ease into the new surroundings gradually.
When packing, remember to keep their favourites close at hand. Packing and sealing your toddler’s favourite teddy in a box would be a big mistake. Get the older children involved in developing checklists, sorting, packing and unpacking, and in simple decisions for the new home such as the colour of their rooms, where they would like their toys and books to be kept.
The general idea is to minimise the disruptions to their daily routines and activities and ease them into the new home and surroundings. Continuity helps them settle down better. Share with them how certain things could be different for them and prepare them with what to expect. Tell them that it is all right to feel anxious or afraid and that you are with them. Help them see the benefi ts of the move and remember to have fun. With children, we won’t go wrong when we include fun and love in everything we do with them.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Back to school
theSun, Tuesday Nov 4, 2008
GOING back to school after a long break can be stressful for both parents and children. Besides shopping for school necessities, parents and children need to readjust themselves to getting back into the routine when school re-opens.
While it may be easier with older children who are experienced enough in coping with preparations to return to school, some extra effort and attention are required with children going to school for the very first time.
Children going to preschool or entering primary or even secondary school for the first time tend to have anxieties related to changes in their environment – new school, new teachers, new friends.
For toddlers and preschoolers, it means being separated from their caregivers, their familiar surroundings and their favourite toys.
Parents should prepare well ahead of time to help their children gear up for school. Start shopping early for all the supplies such as textbooks, stationery, school uniforms, bags and shoes.
Prepare a simple checklist of all the things your children need. Better still, if your children are old enough, ask them to make the list. Once the list is ready, go shopping with them and make it fun.
Involving children in these tasks helps prepare them mentally for school or look forward to going back again.
Purchase some activity books and games that are related to what your children have learnt to help refresh their memory. It becomes easier for them to reapply the knowledge when they get back to school.
For younger children who are going to school for the first time, this new experience could be both exciting and daunting. Some may be excited and view it as a new ‘adventure’ while others will be reluctant to leave their comfort zone.
Get storybooks or movies about going to school to help them imagine the experience and learn what to expect.
Visit the school with them or if the school has organised an open day, use the opportunity to get familiarised with the school surroundings and let your children learn where the classroom, toilets, playground and cafeteria are located.
Some kindergartens organise a field trip to a primary school for their graduating pre-schoolers.
This way, the children can observe and learn about the general set-up of a primary school, or even role-play a typical classroom scene to develop better awareness of the new environment they will be in the next year.
Find out if your children’s preschool has such an activity or you could suggest it to them.
Share with them your own good experiences about going to school. Tell them about the fun they could have with other children, and all the interesting activities and lessons the teacher will be teaching.
Start getting them into a routine that is like the one during school. Get them to bed and up at the same times as they would if it was a school day.
Their body rhythms will reset to the new routine and they will have more energy those first few mornings because it has become part of their regular day.
It also helps you to estimate how much time it will take to get them ready and out the door.
You, too, will sleep better and awake refreshed minus the stress of last-minute shopping and knowing that you are prepared for the tears and fears if they creep up on you and your children.
GOING back to school after a long break can be stressful for both parents and children. Besides shopping for school necessities, parents and children need to readjust themselves to getting back into the routine when school re-opens.
While it may be easier with older children who are experienced enough in coping with preparations to return to school, some extra effort and attention are required with children going to school for the very first time.
Children going to preschool or entering primary or even secondary school for the first time tend to have anxieties related to changes in their environment – new school, new teachers, new friends.
For toddlers and preschoolers, it means being separated from their caregivers, their familiar surroundings and their favourite toys.
Parents should prepare well ahead of time to help their children gear up for school. Start shopping early for all the supplies such as textbooks, stationery, school uniforms, bags and shoes.
Prepare a simple checklist of all the things your children need. Better still, if your children are old enough, ask them to make the list. Once the list is ready, go shopping with them and make it fun.
Involving children in these tasks helps prepare them mentally for school or look forward to going back again.
Purchase some activity books and games that are related to what your children have learnt to help refresh their memory. It becomes easier for them to reapply the knowledge when they get back to school.
For younger children who are going to school for the first time, this new experience could be both exciting and daunting. Some may be excited and view it as a new ‘adventure’ while others will be reluctant to leave their comfort zone.
Get storybooks or movies about going to school to help them imagine the experience and learn what to expect.
Visit the school with them or if the school has organised an open day, use the opportunity to get familiarised with the school surroundings and let your children learn where the classroom, toilets, playground and cafeteria are located.
Some kindergartens organise a field trip to a primary school for their graduating pre-schoolers.
This way, the children can observe and learn about the general set-up of a primary school, or even role-play a typical classroom scene to develop better awareness of the new environment they will be in the next year.
Find out if your children’s preschool has such an activity or you could suggest it to them.
Share with them your own good experiences about going to school. Tell them about the fun they could have with other children, and all the interesting activities and lessons the teacher will be teaching.
Start getting them into a routine that is like the one during school. Get them to bed and up at the same times as they would if it was a school day.
Their body rhythms will reset to the new routine and they will have more energy those first few mornings because it has become part of their regular day.
It also helps you to estimate how much time it will take to get them ready and out the door.
You, too, will sleep better and awake refreshed minus the stress of last-minute shopping and knowing that you are prepared for the tears and fears if they creep up on you and your children.
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