Going on long-haul flights with children in tow can be a challenge for some parents
theSun, Tues, 27 Oct 2009
Wasn’t travelling a breeze when you did not have kids? However, with baby around, you will probably think twice before deciding to travel.
When you have your little ones as travel companions, you will have to be prepared not only to meet their physical needs such as sleep, food and diaper changes, but also their endless whining, restlessness, crying, impatience and the frequent: “Are we there yet?”
The whole idea of travelling can be even more daunting if it involves a long-haul flight when stopping at the nearest rest area as and when you wish is not an option. However, with enough preparations, a long-haul flight with children can be managed well enough to make travelling less of a hassle and more of an enjoyable family experience.
For seasoned travellers, getting ready to travel with children may be a routine affair, but for some of us, the following few pointers may help us get prepared for that first or rarely taken long-haul flight with our young ones.
Flight schedule
If possible, time the flight according to the child’s feeding, nap and sleeping schedules. If your child can sleep on the plane, the flight will be less stressful for you. Breastfeed or bottle feed your child before take-off and landing to alleviate discomfort in the ears.
If you have to transit, factor in extra time, taking into account the extra baggage you will have to carry like stroller, diaper bag and the like.
Don’t even think you can dash from one gate to another just as you did on your honeymoon trip! Also, allow time for customs and passport checks.
It will be helpful if you know the facilities available at the airports you are stopping at. Find out if they have restaurants, nursery, play areas, convenience stores selling children’s necessities and baby-changing rooms.
Use the airport lounge if you can during transit. Here, you can rest more comfortably and be more accessible to amenities such as toilets and shower facilities as the main terminal is usually busy and crowded.
In-flight
For infants, pack diapers, formula, bottles, pacifier if required, wipes, snacks, favourite toys, books, blanket or any other items he feels secure with.
It is better to overestimate and bring more than you think you need. Have a change or two of clothes for him and at least a spare top for yourself, in case of spills or vomit.
For toddlers, pack age-appropriate colouring, sticker or activity books, crayons, small toys and story books. Include a few new (or even old but seldom-used) toys as surprises to distract them when they get antsy. Dish them out sparingly, however, only when all else fails, lest they start expecting something new every time they throw a tantrum.
Avoid jigsaw puzzles or toys with small detachable parts as you will not want to be crawling around the cabin floor in search of fallen or missing pieces. Also, avoid noisy toys unless you relish stares and glares from other annoyed passengers when your child makes Polly Parrot squawk continuously throughout the 15-hour flight.
Check if your airline offers in-flight movies for children. It will be better if the TV screen is on the back of the seat, as children usually cannot see the large screen placed in front of the cabin. Or bring your own portable DVD player and your child’s favourite cartoons and educational shows.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Planting roots
theSun, Tue, 13 Oct 2009
FAMILY traditions and activities during festivals are important for strengthening family ties. At the same time, they teach the children values and help us remember our heritage.
As the world around us becomes increasingly seamless, the lines between cultures and norms fade. And it doesn’t help with our wide exposure to the more dominant cultures of the West via the media.
My daughter, for one, used to think Malaysians celebrate Halloween, and that she is an English girl, not Chinese, since she speaks English.
These days, cultural and religious festivals have an added commercial twist. Shopping malls and restaurants grab the opportunity to boost their business by attracting customers with their lavishly-decorated premises, special discounts and promotions.
Many children, and even adults sometimes, can’t help but be drawn into the hype and party atmosphere.
When I was a child, I remember the excitement of getting Chinese New Year red packets or angpows, eating lots of cookies and sweets, drinking iced carbonated drinks and playing with fireworks and sparklers.
However, it is not these things that matter most to me as an adult now. It is the traditions the family practised that I now remember my roots and know some aspects of the Chinese culture.
We also made it a point to visit all our relatives, and I learnt how to address them according to their rankings in our dialect. I knew who the granduncles, grandaunts, cousins, second cousins, uncles and aunts were, and where their place was in the extended family tree.
We need to remind ourselves of and teach our children the history, meaning and traditions behind the festivals we celebrate and even those of other cultures.
By sharing with our children stories, cultural practices and religious rituals of these festivals, we renew our own knowledge while the children gain a better understanding of it.
Cultural and religious festivals are good opportunities to teach our children about the multi-racial community that we live in.
Children need to learn that there are people from various ethnic groups and nationalities around the world, whose culture and lifestyles differ from their own.
They need to be taught that despite the differences, be it in physical appearance, lifestyle or even the food that they eat or don’t eat, they should accept, respect and treat everyone equally.
The last quarter of the year in Malaysia is the time that sees Malaysians celebrating a series of cultural and religious festivals. Muslims recently observed the fasting month of Ramadan followed by Hari Raya Aidilfitri.
Chinese folk recently celebrated the Mid-Autumn Festival during 15th day of the eighth month of the lunar calendar that fell on Oct 3, and very soon, the Hindus will be celebrating Deepavali on Oct 17.
Come December, there will be Christmas, Awal Muharram and the Chinese Winter Solstice festival. Then, before you know it, it will be Chinese New Year in February next year.
Festivals celebrated by the minority native groups should also not be left out.
Children learn by example and by participating, especially when fun is involved. For example, by participating in simple activities like making greeting cards and decorative items, reading stories about festivals, singing festive songs, cooking and tasting festive food, going to places of worship, visiting relatives and friends at their open houses, and giving and receiving gifts, they learn a range of skills, lessons and values.
These include creativity, motor skill development, math, science, art, music, heritage, culture, faith, love, forgiveness, generosity, sharing, teamwork, respect, friendship, etiquette, history, and even geography.
At the end of the day, we as parents should think about what traditions we want to share and leave as legacies for our children.
FAMILY traditions and activities during festivals are important for strengthening family ties. At the same time, they teach the children values and help us remember our heritage.
As the world around us becomes increasingly seamless, the lines between cultures and norms fade. And it doesn’t help with our wide exposure to the more dominant cultures of the West via the media.
My daughter, for one, used to think Malaysians celebrate Halloween, and that she is an English girl, not Chinese, since she speaks English.
These days, cultural and religious festivals have an added commercial twist. Shopping malls and restaurants grab the opportunity to boost their business by attracting customers with their lavishly-decorated premises, special discounts and promotions.
Many children, and even adults sometimes, can’t help but be drawn into the hype and party atmosphere.
When I was a child, I remember the excitement of getting Chinese New Year red packets or angpows, eating lots of cookies and sweets, drinking iced carbonated drinks and playing with fireworks and sparklers.
However, it is not these things that matter most to me as an adult now. It is the traditions the family practised that I now remember my roots and know some aspects of the Chinese culture.
We also made it a point to visit all our relatives, and I learnt how to address them according to their rankings in our dialect. I knew who the granduncles, grandaunts, cousins, second cousins, uncles and aunts were, and where their place was in the extended family tree.
We need to remind ourselves of and teach our children the history, meaning and traditions behind the festivals we celebrate and even those of other cultures.
By sharing with our children stories, cultural practices and religious rituals of these festivals, we renew our own knowledge while the children gain a better understanding of it.
Cultural and religious festivals are good opportunities to teach our children about the multi-racial community that we live in.
Children need to learn that there are people from various ethnic groups and nationalities around the world, whose culture and lifestyles differ from their own.
They need to be taught that despite the differences, be it in physical appearance, lifestyle or even the food that they eat or don’t eat, they should accept, respect and treat everyone equally.
The last quarter of the year in Malaysia is the time that sees Malaysians celebrating a series of cultural and religious festivals. Muslims recently observed the fasting month of Ramadan followed by Hari Raya Aidilfitri.
Chinese folk recently celebrated the Mid-Autumn Festival during 15th day of the eighth month of the lunar calendar that fell on Oct 3, and very soon, the Hindus will be celebrating Deepavali on Oct 17.
Come December, there will be Christmas, Awal Muharram and the Chinese Winter Solstice festival. Then, before you know it, it will be Chinese New Year in February next year.
Festivals celebrated by the minority native groups should also not be left out.
Children learn by example and by participating, especially when fun is involved. For example, by participating in simple activities like making greeting cards and decorative items, reading stories about festivals, singing festive songs, cooking and tasting festive food, going to places of worship, visiting relatives and friends at their open houses, and giving and receiving gifts, they learn a range of skills, lessons and values.
These include creativity, motor skill development, math, science, art, music, heritage, culture, faith, love, forgiveness, generosity, sharing, teamwork, respect, friendship, etiquette, history, and even geography.
At the end of the day, we as parents should think about what traditions we want to share and leave as legacies for our children.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Me, me and mine
An only child must learn that the world does not revolve around him/her alone
theSun, Tue, 29 Sep 2009
My daughter is good at talking and seems to have answers for everything. Most times, she presents rather convincing arguments for her ideas and decisions and expects to get what she wants.
Could it be because she is an only child and is used to getting everyone’s full attention?
Children in single-child families usually have their parents all to themselves and they do not face any competition for attention. It is important, therefore, that parents draw the line from the beginning and set limits.
With positive parenting, the child can turn out to become a well-adjusted and sensible adult. Not everyone who is an only child is spoiled, domineering, and selfish, as most people tend to generalise.
As a parent of an only child, I need to be aware of the situations and experiences unique to her, and manage them well as she encounters it.
The only child receives full attention from his/her parents who can become over-protective and over-indulgent.
Encouraging the child to explore his/her own opinions and to learn from the outcome of the decisions helps to build self-confidence.
However, he/she must learn that expressing and thinking independently does not mean that he/she is right or will get what he/she wants all the time.
An only child grows up in a household of adults and has less interaction with peers compared to children with siblings. Children with siblings are naturally exposed to situations that teach them to compromise, give in and take turns.
Create avenues for your only child to develop his/her social interaction skills. Set up playdates with other children or spend time with families with more than one child. Get the child to join you or others in helping the community so that the focus will be away from him/her. Involve the child in team-based activities.
When such children see the situations and people around them, they will have less need for people to pay attention to them. They learn to realise that their wants may not be as important as what someone less fortunate needs. They see that they have to play by the team’s rules if they want to be part of the group.
Our expectations of our only child should be realistic. Allow these children to be themselves and provide them space to develop their personal interests. And when they show an interest in something, support and encourage them but remember not to be over-enthusiastic.
Carolyn White, author of The Seven Common Sins of Parenting an Only Child, writes: "Only-child parents are quick to think that if their bright child shows an interest in art, music, ballet or basket-weaving, it’s necessary to call in the big guns. They find their child the best piano teacher in the city or spend hours in museums.
"It’s not enough for their child to have interests and explore them in a casual way. Parents of only child must curb their enthusiasm for trying to make their child older than she/he is ….
"Remind yourself of your child’s chronological age, and try not to be flattered when other adults say, ‘Oh, Jerzey is only 10? He seems so much older.’ It’s not necessarily a compliment."
Provide an environment for your only child to grow up among his/her peers as much as possible so that he/she does not feel lonely.
When recalling their childhood, many only children said they did not miss having siblings simply because they were provided opportunities to develop friendships with other children in their neighbourhood, school, and extended family.
theSun, Tue, 29 Sep 2009
My daughter is good at talking and seems to have answers for everything. Most times, she presents rather convincing arguments for her ideas and decisions and expects to get what she wants.
Could it be because she is an only child and is used to getting everyone’s full attention?
Children in single-child families usually have their parents all to themselves and they do not face any competition for attention. It is important, therefore, that parents draw the line from the beginning and set limits.
With positive parenting, the child can turn out to become a well-adjusted and sensible adult. Not everyone who is an only child is spoiled, domineering, and selfish, as most people tend to generalise.
As a parent of an only child, I need to be aware of the situations and experiences unique to her, and manage them well as she encounters it.
The only child receives full attention from his/her parents who can become over-protective and over-indulgent.
Encouraging the child to explore his/her own opinions and to learn from the outcome of the decisions helps to build self-confidence.
However, he/she must learn that expressing and thinking independently does not mean that he/she is right or will get what he/she wants all the time.
An only child grows up in a household of adults and has less interaction with peers compared to children with siblings. Children with siblings are naturally exposed to situations that teach them to compromise, give in and take turns.
Create avenues for your only child to develop his/her social interaction skills. Set up playdates with other children or spend time with families with more than one child. Get the child to join you or others in helping the community so that the focus will be away from him/her. Involve the child in team-based activities.
When such children see the situations and people around them, they will have less need for people to pay attention to them. They learn to realise that their wants may not be as important as what someone less fortunate needs. They see that they have to play by the team’s rules if they want to be part of the group.
Our expectations of our only child should be realistic. Allow these children to be themselves and provide them space to develop their personal interests. And when they show an interest in something, support and encourage them but remember not to be over-enthusiastic.
Carolyn White, author of The Seven Common Sins of Parenting an Only Child, writes: "Only-child parents are quick to think that if their bright child shows an interest in art, music, ballet or basket-weaving, it’s necessary to call in the big guns. They find their child the best piano teacher in the city or spend hours in museums.
"It’s not enough for their child to have interests and explore them in a casual way. Parents of only child must curb their enthusiasm for trying to make their child older than she/he is ….
"Remind yourself of your child’s chronological age, and try not to be flattered when other adults say, ‘Oh, Jerzey is only 10? He seems so much older.’ It’s not necessarily a compliment."
Provide an environment for your only child to grow up among his/her peers as much as possible so that he/she does not feel lonely.
When recalling their childhood, many only children said they did not miss having siblings simply because they were provided opportunities to develop friendships with other children in their neighbourhood, school, and extended family.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
The confidence factor
Inculcating self-esteem from young will make children feel more positive about themselves
theSun, Tue 08 Sep 2009
It is show-and-tell day at school. Little Jack is afraid to step forward to share with his classmates what he brought to school to show them.
"I can’t do it, I’m not good," he says.
At other times, Jack does not want to try new things. He frequently thinks he is not good at anything and speaks negatively of himself. He finds new challenges frustrating and gives up easily.
Nurturing self-esteem in a child, like in many other areas of parenting, requires conscious effort.
Self-esteem can be defined as the opinions and feelings we have of ourselves. How we perceive ourselves affects our attitudes, what we do, and how we feel and behave towards ourselves and others.
Children with good self-esteem tend to be more positive, and will take on new challenges without giving in to anxiety and failure.
When children fail at something, and are encouraged to try again and again until they succeed, they learn to develop positive ideas about their own capabilities.
When parents are around to encourage and guide them in forming these right feelings they have about themselves, children will grow to have higher self-esteem.
They will have positive ideas of their own abilities, and feel more accepted and loved.
In helping children build self-esteem, we must first of all remember that they are unique. Accept them by recognising that each has his/her own unique talents and help to nurture their different abilities.
We should never ever compare them with other children.
Choose your words carefully. If she is not made out to be the next Mozart, do not make her feel unworthy and useless by saying: "Look at Jill, she can play the piano so well, why can’t you?"
Or if she compares herself with Jill, help her see that she is good at other things and praise her for her efforts in playing the piano.
Reward her effort even if she did not win the coveted Pianist of the Year award.
Instead of labelling your child as a "naughty boy", separate the bad behaviour and deal with it without judging the child.
Tell him/her: "What you did to your friend was not good" instead of "You were so naughty".
Allow them to make some of the decisions on their own. This does not mean that you give them total freedom to do as they please.
By letting them decide on simple things, as long as their choices are not detrimental or extreme, our children will learn independence and be self-decisive.
Allowing them to make their own judgments and feel good about the outcome also help strengthen their self-worth.
In that way, they gain confidence and their self-esteem is raised.
As parents, we can provide them with a safe and loving environment. Be there for them, listen to them and build up the trust and respect between parent and child.
When children know that they are loved for who they are, they feel more secure.
Positive feelings about themselves will in the long run help them be confident with people, experiences and challenges they would come across in their lives in the future.
theSun, Tue 08 Sep 2009
It is show-and-tell day at school. Little Jack is afraid to step forward to share with his classmates what he brought to school to show them.
"I can’t do it, I’m not good," he says.
At other times, Jack does not want to try new things. He frequently thinks he is not good at anything and speaks negatively of himself. He finds new challenges frustrating and gives up easily.
Nurturing self-esteem in a child, like in many other areas of parenting, requires conscious effort.
Self-esteem can be defined as the opinions and feelings we have of ourselves. How we perceive ourselves affects our attitudes, what we do, and how we feel and behave towards ourselves and others.
Children with good self-esteem tend to be more positive, and will take on new challenges without giving in to anxiety and failure.
When children fail at something, and are encouraged to try again and again until they succeed, they learn to develop positive ideas about their own capabilities.
When parents are around to encourage and guide them in forming these right feelings they have about themselves, children will grow to have higher self-esteem.
They will have positive ideas of their own abilities, and feel more accepted and loved.
In helping children build self-esteem, we must first of all remember that they are unique. Accept them by recognising that each has his/her own unique talents and help to nurture their different abilities.
We should never ever compare them with other children.
Choose your words carefully. If she is not made out to be the next Mozart, do not make her feel unworthy and useless by saying: "Look at Jill, she can play the piano so well, why can’t you?"
Or if she compares herself with Jill, help her see that she is good at other things and praise her for her efforts in playing the piano.
Reward her effort even if she did not win the coveted Pianist of the Year award.
Instead of labelling your child as a "naughty boy", separate the bad behaviour and deal with it without judging the child.
Tell him/her: "What you did to your friend was not good" instead of "You were so naughty".
Allow them to make some of the decisions on their own. This does not mean that you give them total freedom to do as they please.
By letting them decide on simple things, as long as their choices are not detrimental or extreme, our children will learn independence and be self-decisive.
Allowing them to make their own judgments and feel good about the outcome also help strengthen their self-worth.
In that way, they gain confidence and their self-esteem is raised.
As parents, we can provide them with a safe and loving environment. Be there for them, listen to them and build up the trust and respect between parent and child.
When children know that they are loved for who they are, they feel more secure.
Positive feelings about themselves will in the long run help them be confident with people, experiences and challenges they would come across in their lives in the future.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Making hospital stays less scary
theSun, Tue, 25 Aug 2009
One of the worst things about being a parent is coping with a sick child. And I don’t mean the usual sniffles or sore throat which a simple visit to the doctor will suffice.
The real challenge is when a child is seriously sick and requires hospitalisation. The experience can be less daunting for both of you if you know what to do.
If your child needs to be admitted into hospital, let him know beforehand. If he is a pre-schooler, tell him about it a day or two earlier. Do not tell him too early as he might get unduly anxious.
Older children, however, can be told about it as soon as possible. This way, they will have more time to prepare themselves mentally and emotionally, and can ask questions to ease their apprehension.
Answer their questions as simply as you can. The explanations and descriptions that you use to let them know what to expect should be age appropriate. As the parent, you are the best person to know how much your child can understand.
Be honest with him and sound positive. If pain or discomfort is to be expected, tell him the truth but assure him that the doctor and nurses will give him medicine to make him feel better.
Share with him why he needs to stay in the hospital, how long he will be there, and what the doctors and nurses will do. Tell him where you will be and when you will be visiting him during his stay. Let him know if you plan to stay with him (if the hospital allows it) as he will feel reassured.
If your child is a pre-schooler, read him storybooks about going to the hospital. Play ‘doctor’ or ‘hospital’ with him using a toy doctor’s set. Pack his favourite books, toys or activity books so that he will feel more at home.
He can be kept occupied and feel less bored if his condition allows him to indulge in some light activity in bed or in the room.
To prepare yourself, get as much information from the hospital about the procedures for admission. Familiarise yourself with the hospital surroundings and facilities such as parking areas, restaurants and visiting hours.
Ask the doctor for details to understand your child’s condition better. Find out what he or she will be doing to help your child so that you know what to expect.
Take care of yourself and make sure you rest and eat well. Share your thoughts and feelings with family and friends. Stress and worry could take a toll on you, and your child can pick it up.
Negative vibes and nervousness are among the last things you want your child to feel. You need to be calm and confident to provide the love and support your child needs during that period.
One of the worst things about being a parent is coping with a sick child. And I don’t mean the usual sniffles or sore throat which a simple visit to the doctor will suffice.
The real challenge is when a child is seriously sick and requires hospitalisation. The experience can be less daunting for both of you if you know what to do.
If your child needs to be admitted into hospital, let him know beforehand. If he is a pre-schooler, tell him about it a day or two earlier. Do not tell him too early as he might get unduly anxious.
Older children, however, can be told about it as soon as possible. This way, they will have more time to prepare themselves mentally and emotionally, and can ask questions to ease their apprehension.
Answer their questions as simply as you can. The explanations and descriptions that you use to let them know what to expect should be age appropriate. As the parent, you are the best person to know how much your child can understand.
Be honest with him and sound positive. If pain or discomfort is to be expected, tell him the truth but assure him that the doctor and nurses will give him medicine to make him feel better.
Share with him why he needs to stay in the hospital, how long he will be there, and what the doctors and nurses will do. Tell him where you will be and when you will be visiting him during his stay. Let him know if you plan to stay with him (if the hospital allows it) as he will feel reassured.
If your child is a pre-schooler, read him storybooks about going to the hospital. Play ‘doctor’ or ‘hospital’ with him using a toy doctor’s set. Pack his favourite books, toys or activity books so that he will feel more at home.
He can be kept occupied and feel less bored if his condition allows him to indulge in some light activity in bed or in the room.
To prepare yourself, get as much information from the hospital about the procedures for admission. Familiarise yourself with the hospital surroundings and facilities such as parking areas, restaurants and visiting hours.
Ask the doctor for details to understand your child’s condition better. Find out what he or she will be doing to help your child so that you know what to expect.
Take care of yourself and make sure you rest and eat well. Share your thoughts and feelings with family and friends. Stress and worry could take a toll on you, and your child can pick it up.
Negative vibes and nervousness are among the last things you want your child to feel. You need to be calm and confident to provide the love and support your child needs during that period.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Managing mealtimes
theSun, Tue 04 Aug 2009
When it comes to mealtimes, I sometimes wish children came equipped with an on-off button so that we could keep them under our control at the touch of a button. In our hectic lifestyles, mealtimes appear to be about the only time we have to unwind and spend time together as a family.
When a family includes young children, mealtimes often become pretty stressful. The common problems parents have are their children’s refusal to eat, being picky with the food and not being able to sit still.
What can we do to tackle these challenges?
We need first to believe that they will not starve. From 18 months to three years of age, a child’s growth rate slows down. The child is less hungry so he eats less. He would grow in height more quickly than gain weight. He is learning to be independent and wants to assert it.
The more we force children to do something they do not like, the more likely a power struggle will take place.
Some parents, including me, tend to force them to eat, which in actual fact, is wrong. If they are energetic and growing well, we should not worry too much.
Look at how much of food they eat over a week, rather than the quantity they consume every day. This will give you a better picture of their overall diet and how balanced it is.
Offer children a variety of foodstuff and serve them in small portions. Children feel good about themselves when they are able to finish what is on their plate.
When there is too much food, they might feel overwhelmed and refuse to eat. When introducing a new dish, serve it with food they like and serve it several times. The more times a child gets to taste it, the more likely he is to accept it.
If your children are old enough, throw in some activities to make the introduction of the new food item more exciting. You can get them to help prepare it or cut it into fun shapes or decorate it to make the dish more interesting and appealing.
Young children are curious, love to explore and are easily distracted. Thus, it is difficult for them to sit still. Instead of allowing them to eat while watching television or allowing them to bring their books and toys to the table, we could try making them eat at the table for an appropriate amount of time by using a timer (I picked up this tip on the Internet).
The amount of time they sit at the table can be increased gradually over a period of time. They should be rewarded with praise or a sticker if they are successful. Start interesting conversations and share funny stories to keep them at the table.
If they are playing before mealtime, give them ample warning as to when they should stop. Children need time to end their games, and ‘switch over’ from an activity that is stimulating to one that is relatively mundane in their eyes.
Ask them to help you do simple things in preparation for the meal, like setting the table.
While these suggestions make sense on paper, we often lament that they are easier said than done. Often times, none of them seems to work but we should rest assured that slowly, over time, and done consistently, these steps will help make mealtimes less stressful.
When it comes to mealtimes, I sometimes wish children came equipped with an on-off button so that we could keep them under our control at the touch of a button. In our hectic lifestyles, mealtimes appear to be about the only time we have to unwind and spend time together as a family.
When a family includes young children, mealtimes often become pretty stressful. The common problems parents have are their children’s refusal to eat, being picky with the food and not being able to sit still.
What can we do to tackle these challenges?
We need first to believe that they will not starve. From 18 months to three years of age, a child’s growth rate slows down. The child is less hungry so he eats less. He would grow in height more quickly than gain weight. He is learning to be independent and wants to assert it.
The more we force children to do something they do not like, the more likely a power struggle will take place.
Some parents, including me, tend to force them to eat, which in actual fact, is wrong. If they are energetic and growing well, we should not worry too much.
Look at how much of food they eat over a week, rather than the quantity they consume every day. This will give you a better picture of their overall diet and how balanced it is.
Offer children a variety of foodstuff and serve them in small portions. Children feel good about themselves when they are able to finish what is on their plate.
When there is too much food, they might feel overwhelmed and refuse to eat. When introducing a new dish, serve it with food they like and serve it several times. The more times a child gets to taste it, the more likely he is to accept it.
If your children are old enough, throw in some activities to make the introduction of the new food item more exciting. You can get them to help prepare it or cut it into fun shapes or decorate it to make the dish more interesting and appealing.
Young children are curious, love to explore and are easily distracted. Thus, it is difficult for them to sit still. Instead of allowing them to eat while watching television or allowing them to bring their books and toys to the table, we could try making them eat at the table for an appropriate amount of time by using a timer (I picked up this tip on the Internet).
The amount of time they sit at the table can be increased gradually over a period of time. They should be rewarded with praise or a sticker if they are successful. Start interesting conversations and share funny stories to keep them at the table.
If they are playing before mealtime, give them ample warning as to when they should stop. Children need time to end their games, and ‘switch over’ from an activity that is stimulating to one that is relatively mundane in their eyes.
Ask them to help you do simple things in preparation for the meal, like setting the table.
While these suggestions make sense on paper, we often lament that they are easier said than done. Often times, none of them seems to work but we should rest assured that slowly, over time, and done consistently, these steps will help make mealtimes less stressful.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Old games made new
Traditional children’s play has now evolved to include new rhymes and chants plus fancy hand-finger actions
theSun,Tue, 21 Jul 2009
I WAS pleased to find out recently that some games I used to play with my school friends are still being played by schoolchildren these days, albeit with new names and rules.
Games like ‘tag’ and ‘rock, paper, scissors’ have evolved to include new procedures and fancy hand and finger actions, along with new chants and rhymes.
My friends and I referred to ‘tag’ as ‘catching’ then. Now, my daughter and her friends call it ‘ice and water’.
As for ‘rock, paper, scissors’, we simply said “one, two, juice” before we showed our choice and won by points those days.
Now, I link pinkies with my daughter and sing “see, see, America, America ...”, and make slapping actions in the air to ‘slap’ the loser while she turns her cheek sideways in jest when ‘slapped’.
No matter how silly some of these traditional games may sound with their nonsensical rhymes, they have been passed on from generation to generation and do provide some benefits other than just plain old fun.
In the article The Benefits of Play: Traditional Outdoor Games found in a UK-based website, My Child, it said that “the jeers, taunts, calls, chants, mock speeches, humorous narratives, rhymes, backwards and nonsense verses in children’s lore give plenty of opportunity to practise phonology, lexis, grammar, syntax and semantics without the children being aware”.
I find that these games also bridge the gap between the young and old. Compared to modern-day technology-based games that use handheld consoles, the television or computer, these ‘old’ games do not require batteries, electricity or technology know-how which the older generation may find some difficulty in following.
There are games that you play indoors and others outdoors, in small groups and larger groups, using little or basic materials, and sometimes none at all. This makes these games easily accessible and affordable to all.
Some do not have set limitations to the rules or number of people playing, and can easily be modified according to one’s creativity.
I remember tying a bunch of frangipani flowers with a rubber band to substitute for the actual toy made of chicken feathers attached to a small circular, flat rubber base. We kicked and tried to keep it in the air for as long as we could with the inner side of our foot.
We strung lots of rubber bands together into a long braid and used it as a skipping rope, as well as the contraption for the game zero-point.
Then, there were, of course, hopscotch, hantu galah, five stones and card games like Snap and Old Maid. We played rounders using rolled-up newspaper and a small rubber or tennis ball.
These games are simple yet effective in helping to develop children socially, mentally, and physically. They help children de-stress, practise teamwork, negotiate, strategise, exercise and improve their physical coordination.
Some games, like congkak, help sharpen their memory and mathematical skills.
And like in any game, be it modern or traditional, there will always be winners and losers. Children learn to play by the rules, respect their playmates and also the end result of the game.
They learn that to have fun, they must not get upset if they lose or gloat when they win.
theSun,Tue, 21 Jul 2009
I WAS pleased to find out recently that some games I used to play with my school friends are still being played by schoolchildren these days, albeit with new names and rules.
Games like ‘tag’ and ‘rock, paper, scissors’ have evolved to include new procedures and fancy hand and finger actions, along with new chants and rhymes.
My friends and I referred to ‘tag’ as ‘catching’ then. Now, my daughter and her friends call it ‘ice and water’.
As for ‘rock, paper, scissors’, we simply said “one, two, juice” before we showed our choice and won by points those days.
Now, I link pinkies with my daughter and sing “see, see, America, America ...”, and make slapping actions in the air to ‘slap’ the loser while she turns her cheek sideways in jest when ‘slapped’.
No matter how silly some of these traditional games may sound with their nonsensical rhymes, they have been passed on from generation to generation and do provide some benefits other than just plain old fun.
In the article The Benefits of Play: Traditional Outdoor Games found in a UK-based website, My Child, it said that “the jeers, taunts, calls, chants, mock speeches, humorous narratives, rhymes, backwards and nonsense verses in children’s lore give plenty of opportunity to practise phonology, lexis, grammar, syntax and semantics without the children being aware”.
I find that these games also bridge the gap between the young and old. Compared to modern-day technology-based games that use handheld consoles, the television or computer, these ‘old’ games do not require batteries, electricity or technology know-how which the older generation may find some difficulty in following.
There are games that you play indoors and others outdoors, in small groups and larger groups, using little or basic materials, and sometimes none at all. This makes these games easily accessible and affordable to all.
Some do not have set limitations to the rules or number of people playing, and can easily be modified according to one’s creativity.
I remember tying a bunch of frangipani flowers with a rubber band to substitute for the actual toy made of chicken feathers attached to a small circular, flat rubber base. We kicked and tried to keep it in the air for as long as we could with the inner side of our foot.
We strung lots of rubber bands together into a long braid and used it as a skipping rope, as well as the contraption for the game zero-point.
Then, there were, of course, hopscotch, hantu galah, five stones and card games like Snap and Old Maid. We played rounders using rolled-up newspaper and a small rubber or tennis ball.
These games are simple yet effective in helping to develop children socially, mentally, and physically. They help children de-stress, practise teamwork, negotiate, strategise, exercise and improve their physical coordination.
Some games, like congkak, help sharpen their memory and mathematical skills.
And like in any game, be it modern or traditional, there will always be winners and losers. Children learn to play by the rules, respect their playmates and also the end result of the game.
They learn that to have fun, they must not get upset if they lose or gloat when they win.
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