Walking the talk

theSun, 28 Dec 2010

WHILE it is good to constantly reflect on how we have carried out our responsibilities as parents, the year-end is a good time to round up as we wind down our activities and take a break from the maddening rat race most of us are in.
One aspect of parenting I would like to highlight is the role we play in setting good examples for our children.

Children learn through example and pick up words, actions and mannerisms from adults and even other children they spend most of their time with. Those little eyes and ears are always tuned in to things that are going on around them. They are learning all the time.

Leadership by example rings no truer than in our job as parents. However, we sometimes forget and model words, actions and behaviour that are less than exemplary. I am no perfect parent myself and need to be reminded time and again that I have little eyes and ears watching, listening and copying me.

When we realise our mistake, we need to correct it, explain and apologise if necessary. When we do that, we are modelling a good example for our children to learn right from wrong, to be honest in admitting their mistakes and to make amends.

In all areas of our lives, our children learn from us and the people around them. There are many opportunities in which they can learn either good or bad when they observe the way we interact with others, how we deal with emotions, and why and how we do certain things.

Whether we like it or not, if we choose to be responsible and loving parents, there’s hard work involved and we have to be on our toes. We need to ask what we are modelling to our children when we cut into a long queue at the supermarket cashier, interrupt a conversation without saying ‘excuse me’, jump the queue at the traffic lights, complain rudely to a waiter in a restaurant, shout, swear or act violently in anger or frustration, procrastinate important tasks, give up when the going gets tough or – as I’ve come across many a time – dash quickly into a public parking lot after it is vacated when we know another car has been waiting to park there. Some even have the arrogance or cheek to tell the rightful ‘parker’ to find another spot.

Are we raising our children with the right character and attitude when we display rude, selfish and disgusting behaviour? Do we quickly put blame on the parents of the children our child interacts with when he comes home with a swear word? Do we leave it to the teachers at school or the day-care centre to discipline our children?

The school holidays are here now. It’s a good time to take time off to spend with our children. We could work at modelling some good examples into our interaction with them besides showering them with the attention and fun they missed out when we were too busy with our work.