Monday, April 4, 2011
Moving on
This archive of articles from the 'Family Ties - Bringing Up Children' section of theSun will no longer be updated with new articles as the writer has moved on to other writing projects.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Saying no to junior
We need to teach our children that there will be times in their lives when they cannot get what they want
theSun, tues, 29 March 2011
IT WAS time to leave after her tiring physical activity class. Bedtime beckoned as it was a schoolday the next day but she asked if she could go to the indoor playground nearby.
I said ‘no’. She pleaded and tried to negotiate but I stood firm. Her facial expression changed very quickly from happy to desperate to angry.
As much as we love our children and want to give them everything if we could, there will be times we know we have to say ‘no’ to them.
Saying ‘no’ to our children could be an uneasy task at times because we dread having to deal with what comes after – the power struggle, the tantrum and tears.
We are tempted to avoid the hassle of dealing with such situations because we want them off our backs for some peace and quiet.
If we do that, very quickly, our children will know when and how they can manipulate us to get what they want. They will cry or plead on bended knees long enough until you say ‘yes’.
We need to teach our children a life’s lesson, that there will be times when we cannot get what we want.
Sometimes, we cannot get what we want immediately and instead, have to work and wait for it.
By not giving in to instant gratification and saying ‘no’, we can teach them patience. They will learn to appreciate what they have more.
Otherwise, they will lack the motivation to work towards what they want because they think they are entitled to it.
By denying them sometimes, they will be in touch with the reality of life’s limits and be able to cope with boundaries and disappointments later in life.
Sometimes, we hesitate in saying ‘no’ because we might make them feel rejected when we disappoint them.
Separate the ‘no’ from rejection. Explain to them that ‘no’ means they cannot have what they want; it does not mean you do not love them.
How we say it could make a difference as well. Check your tone of voice and the accompanying words you use.
You could say ‘yes’ with a twist. For instance, telling her "yes, you can have ice cream later after dinner" and not "no, you cannot have it now" could bring about a better outcome.
See if there are alternatives you could offer or if they are younger and can still be easily distracted, turn their attention to more exciting things.
Saying ‘no’ to our children is hard but it is essential and worth the hassle.
According to therapist Jill MacDonald in her article Understanding the Need to Say ‘No’ to Your Children, "you learn that when you say ‘no’, you’re teaching your child something.
"You start to understand that saying ‘no’ is a tool. You learn to say ‘no’ in a non-punishing manner. You take the time to think through your answers, while keeping your focus on the life lesson at hand.
"Our role as parents is to raise our children to be happy, successful, contributing members of society.
"Therefore, teaching them to handle hearing ‘no’ – and to understand the lesson behind it – is key," she says.
theSun, tues, 29 March 2011
IT WAS time to leave after her tiring physical activity class. Bedtime beckoned as it was a schoolday the next day but she asked if she could go to the indoor playground nearby.
I said ‘no’. She pleaded and tried to negotiate but I stood firm. Her facial expression changed very quickly from happy to desperate to angry.
As much as we love our children and want to give them everything if we could, there will be times we know we have to say ‘no’ to them.
Saying ‘no’ to our children could be an uneasy task at times because we dread having to deal with what comes after – the power struggle, the tantrum and tears.
We are tempted to avoid the hassle of dealing with such situations because we want them off our backs for some peace and quiet.
If we do that, very quickly, our children will know when and how they can manipulate us to get what they want. They will cry or plead on bended knees long enough until you say ‘yes’.
We need to teach our children a life’s lesson, that there will be times when we cannot get what we want.
Sometimes, we cannot get what we want immediately and instead, have to work and wait for it.
By not giving in to instant gratification and saying ‘no’, we can teach them patience. They will learn to appreciate what they have more.
Otherwise, they will lack the motivation to work towards what they want because they think they are entitled to it.
By denying them sometimes, they will be in touch with the reality of life’s limits and be able to cope with boundaries and disappointments later in life.
Sometimes, we hesitate in saying ‘no’ because we might make them feel rejected when we disappoint them.
Separate the ‘no’ from rejection. Explain to them that ‘no’ means they cannot have what they want; it does not mean you do not love them.
How we say it could make a difference as well. Check your tone of voice and the accompanying words you use.
You could say ‘yes’ with a twist. For instance, telling her "yes, you can have ice cream later after dinner" and not "no, you cannot have it now" could bring about a better outcome.
See if there are alternatives you could offer or if they are younger and can still be easily distracted, turn their attention to more exciting things.
Saying ‘no’ to our children is hard but it is essential and worth the hassle.
According to therapist Jill MacDonald in her article Understanding the Need to Say ‘No’ to Your Children, "you learn that when you say ‘no’, you’re teaching your child something.
"You start to understand that saying ‘no’ is a tool. You learn to say ‘no’ in a non-punishing manner. You take the time to think through your answers, while keeping your focus on the life lesson at hand.
"Our role as parents is to raise our children to be happy, successful, contributing members of society.
"Therefore, teaching them to handle hearing ‘no’ – and to understand the lesson behind it – is key," she says.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The right influence
It is imperative that parents steer their children to peers who can set good examples for each other
theSun, Tue, 15 Mar 2011
EVERYONE faces peer influence at different times in his or her life. Young children are not immune but in their case, most times they are not aware of it and would naturally react as how their young minds would.
For example, your child may pester you for the latest Barbie doll accessory just because she doesn’t want to feel left out among her friends at kindergarten who are constantly talking about theirs.
Meanwhile, those in their teens may face a different type of peer influence. It could range from conforming to a behaviour or a type of dressing to indulging in risky activities such as smoking, drinking or taking drugs – just so they can be part of a group.
While we have often talked and worried about the negative effects of peer influence, there is also a positive side to it.
According to Kidshealth.org, it is comforting for children to face life’s challenges with friends who are also facing similar challenges and share their interests.
When children accept each other, they learn about honesty and sincerity. They learn the values of loyalty and how to build healthy and lasting friendships.
Peers can set good examples for each other, such as in wanting to do well in school or extra-curricular activities. Good friends listen, discuss problems, share ideas and give feedback. They help each other think through issues and decisions.
Such children also have more courage to try out new things, make new friends, or learn a new skill when they have one another for company and give each other moral support.
Peers may influence your child to join a club, listen to a genre of music they are otherwise not accustomed to, or for younger ones, eat some vegetables!
When our children are young, we play a part in determining who their peers are. We arrange play dates for them with children whose parents are our friends. We get to know the parents of their classmates in kindergarten through common activities at school or at birthday parties.
In this way, we are in better control of their exposure to positive peer influence.
As our children grow older, they would be spending more time with their peers and, therefore, be more exposed to situations where they are pressured to follow the crowd in their activities, dressing style, and behaviour for example.
Pre-teens and teenagers have a stronger need to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance, and if they are not able to find support at home, they would gravitate towards their peers whom they spend much time with, such as their friends.
It is our duty as parents to guide our young ones in such situations in order to build their confidence, self-esteem, assertiveness, values and character.
Help them widen their social circle in a healthy and positive setting by encouraging them to take up new activities and responsibilities such as joining a uniformed group or volunteering at an animal shelter for example.
From the very beginning, we need to encourage open communication with our children for them to feel comfortable to approach us for advice or help.
Without being too intrusive, find out who their friends are, what they talk about and do when they are together to get a better picture of the peer influence your children are exposed to.
theSun, Tue, 15 Mar 2011
EVERYONE faces peer influence at different times in his or her life. Young children are not immune but in their case, most times they are not aware of it and would naturally react as how their young minds would.
For example, your child may pester you for the latest Barbie doll accessory just because she doesn’t want to feel left out among her friends at kindergarten who are constantly talking about theirs.
Meanwhile, those in their teens may face a different type of peer influence. It could range from conforming to a behaviour or a type of dressing to indulging in risky activities such as smoking, drinking or taking drugs – just so they can be part of a group.
While we have often talked and worried about the negative effects of peer influence, there is also a positive side to it.
According to Kidshealth.org, it is comforting for children to face life’s challenges with friends who are also facing similar challenges and share their interests.
When children accept each other, they learn about honesty and sincerity. They learn the values of loyalty and how to build healthy and lasting friendships.
Peers can set good examples for each other, such as in wanting to do well in school or extra-curricular activities. Good friends listen, discuss problems, share ideas and give feedback. They help each other think through issues and decisions.
Such children also have more courage to try out new things, make new friends, or learn a new skill when they have one another for company and give each other moral support.
Peers may influence your child to join a club, listen to a genre of music they are otherwise not accustomed to, or for younger ones, eat some vegetables!
When our children are young, we play a part in determining who their peers are. We arrange play dates for them with children whose parents are our friends. We get to know the parents of their classmates in kindergarten through common activities at school or at birthday parties.
In this way, we are in better control of their exposure to positive peer influence.
As our children grow older, they would be spending more time with their peers and, therefore, be more exposed to situations where they are pressured to follow the crowd in their activities, dressing style, and behaviour for example.
Pre-teens and teenagers have a stronger need to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance, and if they are not able to find support at home, they would gravitate towards their peers whom they spend much time with, such as their friends.
It is our duty as parents to guide our young ones in such situations in order to build their confidence, self-esteem, assertiveness, values and character.
Help them widen their social circle in a healthy and positive setting by encouraging them to take up new activities and responsibilities such as joining a uniformed group or volunteering at an animal shelter for example.
From the very beginning, we need to encourage open communication with our children for them to feel comfortable to approach us for advice or help.
Without being too intrusive, find out who their friends are, what they talk about and do when they are together to get a better picture of the peer influence your children are exposed to.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
The joy of reading
theSun, Tue, 22 Feb 2011
I would like to share here some of the things I did as a parent, and a few ideas that I think might help a child get interested in books and find reading fun.
As one of my personal interests is reading, I love visiting bookstores (and would love it more if I could buy all the books I want!). Like everything else, it is good to model what we want to instil in our children.
Take your children along and show them the books in the children’s section and let them choose the books they want.
Be flexible where their choice of books is concerned. Try not to dictate what they should read, even if they choose Angelina Ballerina instead of All About Insects for instance.
Allow your children to read books that they like, even if it is the umpteenth animal story. If that’s what they want, it’s all right, as long as the contents are appropriate.
Make reading with your children part of your daily routine. I used to read to my child during the day and at bedtime as well. Now that she knows how to read on her own, she reads and re-reads many of her books, comics, and magazines.
When your children have begun learning how to read, encourage and provide them with lots of opportunities to build their newfound skill in a fun and relaxed way. Avoid turning the activity into a chore.
As children have a shorter attention span, limit reading time to between 15 and 20 minutes. It is not a must to finish the entire story in one sitting. With some children, you may not even get to finish one sentence on a page.
Babies simply love to hear your voice, look at the pictures, or turn the pages rather than wanting to know why Jack climbed the beanstalk.
Toddlers may ask lots of ‘why’, ‘where’, ‘what’, ‘when’ and ‘how’ questions while older children may want to discuss certain parts of the book in greater depth.
Reading does not have to be limited to books alone. For example, while on a car journey, look out for billboards and turn reading them into a game, or get some audio books for them to listen to.
While grocery shopping, ask them to help read your shopping list, the signboards indicating the product categories or words on the food packaging.
Show them interesting and child-appropriate pictures or comics from newspapers or magazines and read the captions together.
Get together with other family members for a fun reading-aloud session. Take turns to read, change your voices to suit the characters in the story, and make sound effects for the story to come alive.
You may even go a step further and get simple props to role-play the story after you have read it. Play ‘what if’ and create your own sequel to the story you had just read.
When activities become fun and the children feel involved, they would become more and more interested.
One thing I learnt in my parenting journey is that a child’s interest in something is easier to develop and sustain when there is some variety and fun involved.
I would like to share here some of the things I did as a parent, and a few ideas that I think might help a child get interested in books and find reading fun.
As one of my personal interests is reading, I love visiting bookstores (and would love it more if I could buy all the books I want!). Like everything else, it is good to model what we want to instil in our children.
Take your children along and show them the books in the children’s section and let them choose the books they want.
Be flexible where their choice of books is concerned. Try not to dictate what they should read, even if they choose Angelina Ballerina instead of All About Insects for instance.
Allow your children to read books that they like, even if it is the umpteenth animal story. If that’s what they want, it’s all right, as long as the contents are appropriate.
Make reading with your children part of your daily routine. I used to read to my child during the day and at bedtime as well. Now that she knows how to read on her own, she reads and re-reads many of her books, comics, and magazines.
When your children have begun learning how to read, encourage and provide them with lots of opportunities to build their newfound skill in a fun and relaxed way. Avoid turning the activity into a chore.
As children have a shorter attention span, limit reading time to between 15 and 20 minutes. It is not a must to finish the entire story in one sitting. With some children, you may not even get to finish one sentence on a page.
Babies simply love to hear your voice, look at the pictures, or turn the pages rather than wanting to know why Jack climbed the beanstalk.
Toddlers may ask lots of ‘why’, ‘where’, ‘what’, ‘when’ and ‘how’ questions while older children may want to discuss certain parts of the book in greater depth.
Reading does not have to be limited to books alone. For example, while on a car journey, look out for billboards and turn reading them into a game, or get some audio books for them to listen to.
While grocery shopping, ask them to help read your shopping list, the signboards indicating the product categories or words on the food packaging.
Show them interesting and child-appropriate pictures or comics from newspapers or magazines and read the captions together.
Get together with other family members for a fun reading-aloud session. Take turns to read, change your voices to suit the characters in the story, and make sound effects for the story to come alive.
You may even go a step further and get simple props to role-play the story after you have read it. Play ‘what if’ and create your own sequel to the story you had just read.
When activities become fun and the children feel involved, they would become more and more interested.
One thing I learnt in my parenting journey is that a child’s interest in something is easier to develop and sustain when there is some variety and fun involved.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Netting the benefits
The internet is a useful tool and repository of information for our parenting needs if used wisely
theSun, Tue, 08 Feb 2011
With the arrival of the internet, everything is now at our fingertips. We can read newspapers, books, watch television programmes or movies, or listen to the radio through it.
There is also lot of information we can get by just doing a simple search online when we need ideas, tips and advice on anything and everything. This is especially helpful as we go on our parenting journey.
There are forums and social networking groups we can join too to share our parenting experiences, discuss opinions or get advice from fellow parents and experts.
We must, of course, be very careful when choosing the sites we get our information from, and when we sign up as a member of a networking site or forum.
While there are many websites out there that are genuine in their intentions to help parents, there are also those that are out there with bad intentions.
Many a time, when I run out of ideas on how to occupy my child without using the television as babysitter, I turn to the internet.
Many cartoons, movies or characters on television have websites which include interactive activities or games featuring them. These are good alternatives to one-way, passive viewing of the animated version on television.
Parenting websites and those focused on child education have sections with learning games and activities for reading, math, art and craft, or science projects.
There are also longer-term projects through the Net you could get your child involved in. For instance, older schoolgoing children can be encouraged to write poems, songs, stories or blog.
There are websites that provide guides and attractive resources such as suggested storylines and colourful pictures for your child to develop his writing skills.
For a fee, some also offer a publishing service where your child’s writings can be made into a book as a keepsake or gift to loved ones.
Just as how we take precautions when we go online ourselves, be mindful also of your child’s safety and privacy when you allow him to use the internet.
If he wishes to blog, help him to set it up with all the necessary privacy settings to prevent strangers from contacting or finding out about him and his activities.
When your child is online, remember to supervise his activities to ensure he does not intentionally or unintentionally visit sites that are unsuitable for children.
Never leave a child to use the internet alone. Install blockers or monitoring software on your computer to prevent them from entering sites not meant for children.
If you feel uncomfortable allowing your child to use the internet for educational and fun activities or to write, keep a blog, or show any long-term presence online, you could still use the ideas, information and resources from it and adapt them to suit your needs.
Many of the activities are printable as well so this allows you to convert the online version for use in the traditional pencil and paper way.
With the internet, parents are certainly not lacking when it comes to parenting information, albeit an overload at times, but we still need to exercise our wisdom and discretion when applying the knowledge for ourselves and our children.
theSun, Tue, 08 Feb 2011
With the arrival of the internet, everything is now at our fingertips. We can read newspapers, books, watch television programmes or movies, or listen to the radio through it.
There is also lot of information we can get by just doing a simple search online when we need ideas, tips and advice on anything and everything. This is especially helpful as we go on our parenting journey.
There are forums and social networking groups we can join too to share our parenting experiences, discuss opinions or get advice from fellow parents and experts.
We must, of course, be very careful when choosing the sites we get our information from, and when we sign up as a member of a networking site or forum.
While there are many websites out there that are genuine in their intentions to help parents, there are also those that are out there with bad intentions.
Many a time, when I run out of ideas on how to occupy my child without using the television as babysitter, I turn to the internet.
Many cartoons, movies or characters on television have websites which include interactive activities or games featuring them. These are good alternatives to one-way, passive viewing of the animated version on television.
Parenting websites and those focused on child education have sections with learning games and activities for reading, math, art and craft, or science projects.
There are also longer-term projects through the Net you could get your child involved in. For instance, older schoolgoing children can be encouraged to write poems, songs, stories or blog.
There are websites that provide guides and attractive resources such as suggested storylines and colourful pictures for your child to develop his writing skills.
For a fee, some also offer a publishing service where your child’s writings can be made into a book as a keepsake or gift to loved ones.
Just as how we take precautions when we go online ourselves, be mindful also of your child’s safety and privacy when you allow him to use the internet.
If he wishes to blog, help him to set it up with all the necessary privacy settings to prevent strangers from contacting or finding out about him and his activities.
When your child is online, remember to supervise his activities to ensure he does not intentionally or unintentionally visit sites that are unsuitable for children.
Never leave a child to use the internet alone. Install blockers or monitoring software on your computer to prevent them from entering sites not meant for children.
If you feel uncomfortable allowing your child to use the internet for educational and fun activities or to write, keep a blog, or show any long-term presence online, you could still use the ideas, information and resources from it and adapt them to suit your needs.
Many of the activities are printable as well so this allows you to convert the online version for use in the traditional pencil and paper way.
With the internet, parents are certainly not lacking when it comes to parenting information, albeit an overload at times, but we still need to exercise our wisdom and discretion when applying the knowledge for ourselves and our children.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
A dawdling issue
Young children are not conscious of time but with patience and preseverance, they can learn to get their act together
theSun, Tue, 25 Jan 2011
INSTEAD of dressing up quickly for school in the morning, my child reads her storybook between wearing her uniform, combing her hair and coming downstairs for breakfast. If I don’t yell "hurry up", she’d probably be late for school.
A check with other mothers assures me that I’m not alone in this constant battle against time and a dawdling child, be it getting ready for school, doing homework or going out.
It appears that dawdling is quite characteristic of young children, some more than others. This is because young children are not conscious of time and, therefore, lack a sense of urgency.
They live in the moment. They have yet to develop the ability to control their need for instant gratification or think and plan ahead.
Even when they have learnt to tell the time and know what they need to do, they tend to be easily distracted.
In my search for practical solutions, I managed to come up with a few I learnt from reading and others I’m already doing on my own. They include:
Prepare ahead of time
To reduce morning rush stress, prepare as much as possible the night before. Fill her water bottle and set aside all breakfast necessities in a tray. This way, you reduce time spent in the morning gathering up everything from the various sections of your kitchen.
If you need to cook breakfast or school lunch, cut, slice, prepare whatever you can the night before so that they can be easily cooked or assembled in the morning.
Help your child set aside her clothes before she goes to bed so that she doesn’t waste time looking for matching socks or a missing hair-band.
Be specific
For example, instead of saying: "Hurry up", you should say: "Stop reading and please put on your clothes now".
Break instructions down to a few steps
When I’m in a hurry, I tend to ramble off reminders and instructions in a long string of words. Keep instructions short as your child will most likely forget all that you ask, especially when she is distracted.
Minimise distractions
At the time and place where you know your child needs to get ready, keep her away from distractions such as toys, the television, or storybooks. Make sure toys and books are put away and the television is not on.
Build in incentives
Tell your child that if she can get ready or finish her homework on time, she can have extra time to play later. Remind her also of the consequences if she is too slow or late.
Invent games
One mother as mentioned in a Parenting Institute article published by SchoolFamily.com came up with a game called Beat the Clock to help her son focus and finish his homework.
After determining roughly the time taken for him to finish his work, she set the timer with five minutes extra to make it possible for her son to achieve the goal and win the game.
She said: "The game enabled him to concentrate on the task at hand." And it "made him realise on his own what he was capable of doing without being nagged or threatened".
Lastly, don’t forget patience and perseverance. They should grow out of the habit of dawdling eventually.
theSun, Tue, 25 Jan 2011
INSTEAD of dressing up quickly for school in the morning, my child reads her storybook between wearing her uniform, combing her hair and coming downstairs for breakfast. If I don’t yell "hurry up", she’d probably be late for school.
A check with other mothers assures me that I’m not alone in this constant battle against time and a dawdling child, be it getting ready for school, doing homework or going out.
It appears that dawdling is quite characteristic of young children, some more than others. This is because young children are not conscious of time and, therefore, lack a sense of urgency.
They live in the moment. They have yet to develop the ability to control their need for instant gratification or think and plan ahead.
Even when they have learnt to tell the time and know what they need to do, they tend to be easily distracted.
In my search for practical solutions, I managed to come up with a few I learnt from reading and others I’m already doing on my own. They include:
Prepare ahead of time
To reduce morning rush stress, prepare as much as possible the night before. Fill her water bottle and set aside all breakfast necessities in a tray. This way, you reduce time spent in the morning gathering up everything from the various sections of your kitchen.
If you need to cook breakfast or school lunch, cut, slice, prepare whatever you can the night before so that they can be easily cooked or assembled in the morning.
Help your child set aside her clothes before she goes to bed so that she doesn’t waste time looking for matching socks or a missing hair-band.
Be specific
For example, instead of saying: "Hurry up", you should say: "Stop reading and please put on your clothes now".
Break instructions down to a few steps
When I’m in a hurry, I tend to ramble off reminders and instructions in a long string of words. Keep instructions short as your child will most likely forget all that you ask, especially when she is distracted.
Minimise distractions
At the time and place where you know your child needs to get ready, keep her away from distractions such as toys, the television, or storybooks. Make sure toys and books are put away and the television is not on.
Build in incentives
Tell your child that if she can get ready or finish her homework on time, she can have extra time to play later. Remind her also of the consequences if she is too slow or late.
Invent games
One mother as mentioned in a Parenting Institute article published by SchoolFamily.com came up with a game called Beat the Clock to help her son focus and finish his homework.
After determining roughly the time taken for him to finish his work, she set the timer with five minutes extra to make it possible for her son to achieve the goal and win the game.
She said: "The game enabled him to concentrate on the task at hand." And it "made him realise on his own what he was capable of doing without being nagged or threatened".
Lastly, don’t forget patience and perseverance. They should grow out of the habit of dawdling eventually.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
On his first pair of wheels
There are many ways to teach children to ride a bicycle but don’t forget the safety gear
theSun, Tue, 11 Jan 2011
I HAD not realised that there is actually more than one way to learn how to ride a bicycle until the time when I had to teach my child. I thought all along that the way I learnt, that is using training wheels, is the only way.
When it came for my child to learn, I wondered if there is a ‘best’ and preferably painless way for her to pick up the skill.
As usual, I turned to the Internet for help. A few keywords in everyone’s favourite search engine turned up numerous suggestions.
One is the method I used when I was a child. Riding a bike with training wheels helps the child learn how to pedal and steer first.
Once he can pedal and steer well, you gradually raise the training wheels off the ground to make the bike unstable so that he then learns how to balance. You later remove both training wheels when they have become obsolete and he has gained confidence.
Another method, however, suggests that he learns how to balance on the bike first. This method requires you to remove the pedals and training wheels.
Adjust the seat all the way down or to the level where his feet can touch the ground. With the child on the bike, push it forward and as it moves, ask him to lift his feet off the ground to get a feel of balancing while moving.
You can practise this on a slight, even incline or grassy slope.
This helps him control his balance and allows him to put his feet down when he feels he is going to fall.
Once he is comfortable balancing while moving forward, he can practise steering to the left and right. Upon gaining confidence, you can then reattach the pedals for him to practise pedalling.
You may need to hold the handlebars and seat to keep the bike upright for him to start off but once he is riding, remove your hands so that he can feel the balancing and steering on his own while pedalling.
Keep practising this way until he is stable and you can then raise the seat to a more comfortable and suitable position.
Meanwhile, another method is to immediately get him to pedal and steer without training wheels. You need to hold him by the shoulders to help him keep his balance. Do not hold the handlebars or seat as he will not be able to feel the balance or steering on his own.
As he loses balance slightly and leans to one side, he will feel the pressure from your hands on his shoulder and will try to correct the lean and keep his balance.
This requires you to work a little harder as you have to run along with the bike. Be careful not to trip as the bike swerves out of balance or if he brakes suddenly.
Whichever method you use, remember to keep your child safe by having him wear a helmet, gloves, wrist, knee and elbow pads. Do not rush him to master the skill but let him take his time.
theSun, Tue, 11 Jan 2011
I HAD not realised that there is actually more than one way to learn how to ride a bicycle until the time when I had to teach my child. I thought all along that the way I learnt, that is using training wheels, is the only way.
When it came for my child to learn, I wondered if there is a ‘best’ and preferably painless way for her to pick up the skill.
As usual, I turned to the Internet for help. A few keywords in everyone’s favourite search engine turned up numerous suggestions.
One is the method I used when I was a child. Riding a bike with training wheels helps the child learn how to pedal and steer first.
Once he can pedal and steer well, you gradually raise the training wheels off the ground to make the bike unstable so that he then learns how to balance. You later remove both training wheels when they have become obsolete and he has gained confidence.
Another method, however, suggests that he learns how to balance on the bike first. This method requires you to remove the pedals and training wheels.
Adjust the seat all the way down or to the level where his feet can touch the ground. With the child on the bike, push it forward and as it moves, ask him to lift his feet off the ground to get a feel of balancing while moving.
You can practise this on a slight, even incline or grassy slope.
This helps him control his balance and allows him to put his feet down when he feels he is going to fall.
Once he is comfortable balancing while moving forward, he can practise steering to the left and right. Upon gaining confidence, you can then reattach the pedals for him to practise pedalling.
You may need to hold the handlebars and seat to keep the bike upright for him to start off but once he is riding, remove your hands so that he can feel the balancing and steering on his own while pedalling.
Keep practising this way until he is stable and you can then raise the seat to a more comfortable and suitable position.
Meanwhile, another method is to immediately get him to pedal and steer without training wheels. You need to hold him by the shoulders to help him keep his balance. Do not hold the handlebars or seat as he will not be able to feel the balance or steering on his own.
As he loses balance slightly and leans to one side, he will feel the pressure from your hands on his shoulder and will try to correct the lean and keep his balance.
This requires you to work a little harder as you have to run along with the bike. Be careful not to trip as the bike swerves out of balance or if he brakes suddenly.
Whichever method you use, remember to keep your child safe by having him wear a helmet, gloves, wrist, knee and elbow pads. Do not rush him to master the skill but let him take his time.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Walking the talk
theSun, 28 Dec 2010
WHILE it is good to constantly reflect on how we have carried out our responsibilities as parents, the year-end is a good time to round up as we wind down our activities and take a break from the maddening rat race most of us are in.
One aspect of parenting I would like to highlight is the role we play in setting good examples for our children.
Children learn through example and pick up words, actions and mannerisms from adults and even other children they spend most of their time with. Those little eyes and ears are always tuned in to things that are going on around them. They are learning all the time.
Leadership by example rings no truer than in our job as parents. However, we sometimes forget and model words, actions and behaviour that are less than exemplary. I am no perfect parent myself and need to be reminded time and again that I have little eyes and ears watching, listening and copying me.
When we realise our mistake, we need to correct it, explain and apologise if necessary. When we do that, we are modelling a good example for our children to learn right from wrong, to be honest in admitting their mistakes and to make amends.
In all areas of our lives, our children learn from us and the people around them. There are many opportunities in which they can learn either good or bad when they observe the way we interact with others, how we deal with emotions, and why and how we do certain things.
Whether we like it or not, if we choose to be responsible and loving parents, there’s hard work involved and we have to be on our toes. We need to ask what we are modelling to our children when we cut into a long queue at the supermarket cashier, interrupt a conversation without saying ‘excuse me’, jump the queue at the traffic lights, complain rudely to a waiter in a restaurant, shout, swear or act violently in anger or frustration, procrastinate important tasks, give up when the going gets tough or – as I’ve come across many a time – dash quickly into a public parking lot after it is vacated when we know another car has been waiting to park there. Some even have the arrogance or cheek to tell the rightful ‘parker’ to find another spot.
Are we raising our children with the right character and attitude when we display rude, selfish and disgusting behaviour? Do we quickly put blame on the parents of the children our child interacts with when he comes home with a swear word? Do we leave it to the teachers at school or the day-care centre to discipline our children?
The school holidays are here now. It’s a good time to take time off to spend with our children. We could work at modelling some good examples into our interaction with them besides showering them with the attention and fun they missed out when we were too busy with our work.
WHILE it is good to constantly reflect on how we have carried out our responsibilities as parents, the year-end is a good time to round up as we wind down our activities and take a break from the maddening rat race most of us are in.
One aspect of parenting I would like to highlight is the role we play in setting good examples for our children.
Children learn through example and pick up words, actions and mannerisms from adults and even other children they spend most of their time with. Those little eyes and ears are always tuned in to things that are going on around them. They are learning all the time.
Leadership by example rings no truer than in our job as parents. However, we sometimes forget and model words, actions and behaviour that are less than exemplary. I am no perfect parent myself and need to be reminded time and again that I have little eyes and ears watching, listening and copying me.
When we realise our mistake, we need to correct it, explain and apologise if necessary. When we do that, we are modelling a good example for our children to learn right from wrong, to be honest in admitting their mistakes and to make amends.
In all areas of our lives, our children learn from us and the people around them. There are many opportunities in which they can learn either good or bad when they observe the way we interact with others, how we deal with emotions, and why and how we do certain things.
Whether we like it or not, if we choose to be responsible and loving parents, there’s hard work involved and we have to be on our toes. We need to ask what we are modelling to our children when we cut into a long queue at the supermarket cashier, interrupt a conversation without saying ‘excuse me’, jump the queue at the traffic lights, complain rudely to a waiter in a restaurant, shout, swear or act violently in anger or frustration, procrastinate important tasks, give up when the going gets tough or – as I’ve come across many a time – dash quickly into a public parking lot after it is vacated when we know another car has been waiting to park there. Some even have the arrogance or cheek to tell the rightful ‘parker’ to find another spot.
Are we raising our children with the right character and attitude when we display rude, selfish and disgusting behaviour? Do we quickly put blame on the parents of the children our child interacts with when he comes home with a swear word? Do we leave it to the teachers at school or the day-care centre to discipline our children?
The school holidays are here now. It’s a good time to take time off to spend with our children. We could work at modelling some good examples into our interaction with them besides showering them with the attention and fun they missed out when we were too busy with our work.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
A safe riding we go
The young must be safely restrained in proper baby or child seats as a matter of policy for all parents
theSun, Tues, 14 Dec 2010
ACCORDING to the World Report on Child Injury Prevention, released by Unicef and World Health Organisation in 2008, the top cause of child deaths is road crashes. Some 260,000 children are killed every year while about 10 million are injured.
Road accidents are also the leading cause of deaths among 10- to 19-year-olds, next to drowning that kills more than 175,000 children a year.
Responding to a reader’s feedback in a local daily in June this year, the director-general of Malaysian Institute of Road Safety Research (Miros) said: "One of the primary areas that are currently being comprehensively looked into by Miros is the need for children to be safely restrained in vehicles, more precisely the use of baby seats, child seats, and child booster seats.
"As you are aware, while the law states that all occupants of a vehicle must fasten their seat belts, there are currently no provisions making it mandatory for adults ferrying small children in the car to use proper child-restraint systems."
Whether a mandatory law is already in place or not, it is of utmost importance for all of us to know and practise car safety measures for our children.
After reading various articles on car safety for children, I’ve gathered and compiled some tips here:
> Babies must be placed in proper carriers that are fastened to the seat of the car and children must be in car seats or booster seats that are correctly fitted and appropriate for their size.
If your child’s head sticks out over the top, the child seat is too small. If your child sits loosely in the child seat, roll up a few towels and place them on either side of the child in the seat.
> A child can be placed in the front passenger seat only if the car has no passenger-side airbag or if the airbag is switched off. Airbags are meant for adults and when deployed during a crash, could cause serious injury to children.
Turn it on again when an adult sits there. If the airbag cannot be switched off, the child must sit at the back.
> It is best for children of all ages, including teenagers, to be seated at the back of the car, with baby carriers fastened in a rear-facing position in the centre of the car to minimise injuries from side-on crashes.
Ensure that the baby carrier or car seat you purchase is from a reliable manufacturer and has met necessary safety standards. Install the seat properly following the manufacturer’s instructions. A child can still get hurt in a car seat that has not been properly fastened to the car when he is thrown forward during an accident.
> The child has to be secured with a three-point seat belt. If a child uses the normal seat belt of the car, the diagonal belt must cross the child’s chest and shoulders and not the neck.
When using a hand-me-down car seat, make sure that it had not been in any accident before. Examine it for cracks or wear-and tear, and that the belt and buckle are complete and functioning.
Some seats come with a manufacturer’s expiration date so check for that too.
A good and correctly-used car seat, and conscious effort in ensuring your child’s safety are worthwhile investments.
theSun, Tues, 14 Dec 2010
ACCORDING to the World Report on Child Injury Prevention, released by Unicef and World Health Organisation in 2008, the top cause of child deaths is road crashes. Some 260,000 children are killed every year while about 10 million are injured.
Road accidents are also the leading cause of deaths among 10- to 19-year-olds, next to drowning that kills more than 175,000 children a year.
Responding to a reader’s feedback in a local daily in June this year, the director-general of Malaysian Institute of Road Safety Research (Miros) said: "One of the primary areas that are currently being comprehensively looked into by Miros is the need for children to be safely restrained in vehicles, more precisely the use of baby seats, child seats, and child booster seats.
"As you are aware, while the law states that all occupants of a vehicle must fasten their seat belts, there are currently no provisions making it mandatory for adults ferrying small children in the car to use proper child-restraint systems."
Whether a mandatory law is already in place or not, it is of utmost importance for all of us to know and practise car safety measures for our children.
After reading various articles on car safety for children, I’ve gathered and compiled some tips here:
> Babies must be placed in proper carriers that are fastened to the seat of the car and children must be in car seats or booster seats that are correctly fitted and appropriate for their size.
If your child’s head sticks out over the top, the child seat is too small. If your child sits loosely in the child seat, roll up a few towels and place them on either side of the child in the seat.
> A child can be placed in the front passenger seat only if the car has no passenger-side airbag or if the airbag is switched off. Airbags are meant for adults and when deployed during a crash, could cause serious injury to children.
Turn it on again when an adult sits there. If the airbag cannot be switched off, the child must sit at the back.
> It is best for children of all ages, including teenagers, to be seated at the back of the car, with baby carriers fastened in a rear-facing position in the centre of the car to minimise injuries from side-on crashes.
Ensure that the baby carrier or car seat you purchase is from a reliable manufacturer and has met necessary safety standards. Install the seat properly following the manufacturer’s instructions. A child can still get hurt in a car seat that has not been properly fastened to the car when he is thrown forward during an accident.
> The child has to be secured with a three-point seat belt. If a child uses the normal seat belt of the car, the diagonal belt must cross the child’s chest and shoulders and not the neck.
When using a hand-me-down car seat, make sure that it had not been in any accident before. Examine it for cracks or wear-and tear, and that the belt and buckle are complete and functioning.
Some seats come with a manufacturer’s expiration date so check for that too.
A good and correctly-used car seat, and conscious effort in ensuring your child’s safety are worthwhile investments.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Like ducks to water
Swimming is not only therapeutic and fun but also develops coordination, self-confidence and positive image in both young and old
theSun, Tue, 23 Nov 2010
I LIKE swimming. I find being in the water and moving around in it rather therapeutic. It is also a good form of physical activity for everyone regardless of age.
Swimming gives our body a total low impact workout. It trains our breathing and strengthens our heart and lungs. It helps build flexibility and stamina, and is suitable for not only the healthy but also those with health problems.
Swimming or water activities are used in various treatments for physical, mental and developmental therapy. Water supports body weight, and with proper flotation devices, adults and children with disabilities, such as those with cerebral palsy, amputees, the visually-impaired or wheelchair-bound, can exercise in the water.
Because there is no hard impact on the joints, swimming is a suitable choice for those recovering from stroke or arthritis.
Teaching dyslexic children to swim also helps them read and write normally because swimming is an ambidextrous activity which helps to balance the brain hemispheres.
Most children have a natural affinity to water. They enjoy playing in it. Infants will kick and get excited when you give them a bath while preschoolers will simply find every chance to get wet or plead to stay longer in the tub.
Any age is a great age for the opportunity for you to introduce your child to swimming. It is also good for children and adults alike to learn water safety skills that they will need for the future.
Besides strengthening heart and lungs, providing aerobic exercise, toning muscles, enhancing blood circulation and immunity, swimming also develops coordination, concentration, self-confidence and positive self-image.
If taken up as a competitive sport, swimming like any other sport, can build confidence, self-esteem, positive attitude and team spirit.
According to Kids Exercise (www.kidsexercise.co.uk), "overweight kids who don’t enjoy many games may find swimming to be a pleasure; movement in the water may be easier, making fitness fun for even those who have shied away from other forms of exercise".
Taking it a step further, I believe it is only a matter of time that, with the exercise these overweight children are getting from swimming, they will soon lose some weight and have better self-image.
They can also become more confident discovering that they can do what other children can, albeit in the water for starters.
The website also mentioned that children who take part in early swimming programmes are often thought to be happier and healthier. "Research has shown that early swimmers perform better on tests measuring social, academic, motor and personality developments."
Whether you choose to take up swimming to burn calories, lose weight, as a form of therapy or for leisure and recreation, swimming is beneficial in many aspects. It can be a fun social activity too as it allows you to spend time as a family to strengthen relationships and bonds between you and your children.
And on hot days, swimming is a great way to cool down without resorting to the air conditioner, thereby, reducing your carbon footprint without getting all sweaty to boot.
theSun, Tue, 23 Nov 2010
I LIKE swimming. I find being in the water and moving around in it rather therapeutic. It is also a good form of physical activity for everyone regardless of age.
Swimming gives our body a total low impact workout. It trains our breathing and strengthens our heart and lungs. It helps build flexibility and stamina, and is suitable for not only the healthy but also those with health problems.
Swimming or water activities are used in various treatments for physical, mental and developmental therapy. Water supports body weight, and with proper flotation devices, adults and children with disabilities, such as those with cerebral palsy, amputees, the visually-impaired or wheelchair-bound, can exercise in the water.
Because there is no hard impact on the joints, swimming is a suitable choice for those recovering from stroke or arthritis.
Teaching dyslexic children to swim also helps them read and write normally because swimming is an ambidextrous activity which helps to balance the brain hemispheres.
Most children have a natural affinity to water. They enjoy playing in it. Infants will kick and get excited when you give them a bath while preschoolers will simply find every chance to get wet or plead to stay longer in the tub.
Any age is a great age for the opportunity for you to introduce your child to swimming. It is also good for children and adults alike to learn water safety skills that they will need for the future.
Besides strengthening heart and lungs, providing aerobic exercise, toning muscles, enhancing blood circulation and immunity, swimming also develops coordination, concentration, self-confidence and positive self-image.
If taken up as a competitive sport, swimming like any other sport, can build confidence, self-esteem, positive attitude and team spirit.
According to Kids Exercise (www.kidsexercise.co.uk), "overweight kids who don’t enjoy many games may find swimming to be a pleasure; movement in the water may be easier, making fitness fun for even those who have shied away from other forms of exercise".
Taking it a step further, I believe it is only a matter of time that, with the exercise these overweight children are getting from swimming, they will soon lose some weight and have better self-image.
They can also become more confident discovering that they can do what other children can, albeit in the water for starters.
The website also mentioned that children who take part in early swimming programmes are often thought to be happier and healthier. "Research has shown that early swimmers perform better on tests measuring social, academic, motor and personality developments."
Whether you choose to take up swimming to burn calories, lose weight, as a form of therapy or for leisure and recreation, swimming is beneficial in many aspects. It can be a fun social activity too as it allows you to spend time as a family to strengthen relationships and bonds between you and your children.
And on hot days, swimming is a great way to cool down without resorting to the air conditioner, thereby, reducing your carbon footprint without getting all sweaty to boot.
Back to Basics
theSun, Tues, 9 Nov 2010
My daughter’s current ambition is to be a singer-cum-guitarist in a rock band, so she asked for singing and guitar lessons. At age four, she was totally enamoured with the drums and pestered us for drum lessons. Once, she was fascinated with some children’s artwork displayed outside an art school so she requested for art lessons. Then, there were requests for dance, piano and kung fu classes. To cut the story short, there have been many other instances of such requests along the way.
As a parent, I am pleased that she has the desire and curiosity to want to learn new things. But it is also a challenge to juggle the benefits of allowing her to explore and learn, with her ability to focus and be committed to each activity. And not to mention determining which she could have since time and money were important considerations in these pursuits.
Other parents lament that their kids are not interested in anything besides their toys, games and the television, and that they have to coax and find ways to get them interested. Being on either side of the extreme is neither good nor bad. It is just a matter of keeping perspectives right.
Often times, especially in our current competitive world, we are pressured to want our children to do well in everything they pursue. We tend to compare our child’s performance with others.
While we love our children and want the best for them, we sometimes inadvertently push them a little too much, and even unknowingly try to live out our lives through them. Because we ourselves had desired to be a doctor but did not make it somehow, we want our child to study medicine for example.
Children should be given the freedom to explore, find their passion and develop their individual talents. A child is a unique individual and therefore cannot be compared with any other child, not even his or her twin.
Paul Zucker, author of parenting book "Loving Our Children, Loving Ourselves - How We Achieve Our Mutual Happiness And Fulfillment" said, “Our responsibility as parents is to allow our children to discover and express their uniqueness, combination of intelligence, talents, and abilities. If we believe they are unique and thus gifted, different and special, then we know we don't have to impose our desires on them. We also know that all children are special, because they are all unique, so we give up making it a competition. Other parent's children can do what they do, and our kids can do what they do and there is room for everyone; their kids can't do what ours can in some way and vice versa.
We allow children to discover and express their uniqueness by not imposing specific outcomes. In other words, we do not make them play a sport or instrument, dance, learn to cook, ride a bike, go water skiing, learn a hobby, if they are not willing and enthusiastic. Our job as parents is to provide opportunities for our children to explore, try, and experience life.”
That’s a good reminder. We need to free our children from the pressure and conflict within themselves created by our plans and desires for them. Give your children the opportunity to experience many things. They will eventually discover their passion, talent and abilities, and excel.
My daughter’s current ambition is to be a singer-cum-guitarist in a rock band, so she asked for singing and guitar lessons. At age four, she was totally enamoured with the drums and pestered us for drum lessons. Once, she was fascinated with some children’s artwork displayed outside an art school so she requested for art lessons. Then, there were requests for dance, piano and kung fu classes. To cut the story short, there have been many other instances of such requests along the way.
As a parent, I am pleased that she has the desire and curiosity to want to learn new things. But it is also a challenge to juggle the benefits of allowing her to explore and learn, with her ability to focus and be committed to each activity. And not to mention determining which she could have since time and money were important considerations in these pursuits.
Other parents lament that their kids are not interested in anything besides their toys, games and the television, and that they have to coax and find ways to get them interested. Being on either side of the extreme is neither good nor bad. It is just a matter of keeping perspectives right.
Often times, especially in our current competitive world, we are pressured to want our children to do well in everything they pursue. We tend to compare our child’s performance with others.
While we love our children and want the best for them, we sometimes inadvertently push them a little too much, and even unknowingly try to live out our lives through them. Because we ourselves had desired to be a doctor but did not make it somehow, we want our child to study medicine for example.
Children should be given the freedom to explore, find their passion and develop their individual talents. A child is a unique individual and therefore cannot be compared with any other child, not even his or her twin.
Paul Zucker, author of parenting book "Loving Our Children, Loving Ourselves - How We Achieve Our Mutual Happiness And Fulfillment" said, “Our responsibility as parents is to allow our children to discover and express their uniqueness, combination of intelligence, talents, and abilities. If we believe they are unique and thus gifted, different and special, then we know we don't have to impose our desires on them. We also know that all children are special, because they are all unique, so we give up making it a competition. Other parent's children can do what they do, and our kids can do what they do and there is room for everyone; their kids can't do what ours can in some way and vice versa.
We allow children to discover and express their uniqueness by not imposing specific outcomes. In other words, we do not make them play a sport or instrument, dance, learn to cook, ride a bike, go water skiing, learn a hobby, if they are not willing and enthusiastic. Our job as parents is to provide opportunities for our children to explore, try, and experience life.”
That’s a good reminder. We need to free our children from the pressure and conflict within themselves created by our plans and desires for them. Give your children the opportunity to experience many things. They will eventually discover their passion, talent and abilities, and excel.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Cybernet for kids
Teaching children about Internet safety is necessary these days to prevent abuse and bullying on the Net
theSun, Tues 26 Oct 2010
IT IS said that for every ‘good’ thing, there may be a ‘bad’ side. We need to know how to exploit the pros for our benefit and control the cons to be safe.
So it is with our usage of the Internet. If adults can become victims of Internet addictions, stalkers, scammers and other dangerous elements, young children and teenagers who are innocent and more trusting would face higher risks when they venture into the Internet world.
Even if they don’t join chat rooms and befriend strangers on the Internet, our children’s privacy has been found to be compromised.
In a Sept 17 report in the online version of the Wall Street Journal titled On the Web, Children Face Intensive Tracking, Steve Stecklow reported the Journal’s investigation and findings on "tiny tracking tools used by data-collection companies to follow people as they surf the Internet".
Profiles detailing your online activities, behaviour and personal interests are then built and sold to advertisers. Although the profiles don’t include names, they can include "age, tastes, hobbies, shopping habits, race, likelihood to post comments and general location, such as city".
It is important to remember that when we allow our children to use the Internet, we also need to teach them about Internet safety. We need to supervise or monitor their online activities regularly to ensure that their exposure to risks and dangers are minimised.
For young children, it is best that you be with them when they are searching for information or playing games online. At times, a spelling mistake when typing a keyword into a search engine could lead to sites that are unsuitable. Bookmark the sites that your child frequently visits for easier and direct access.
Place your computer in a common and open area in the house, not in a bedroom, so that the computer screen is visible to you as you go about your chores around the house.
Talk to your children and create awareness of cyber-bullying, sexual victimisation and other possible online risks. Tell them never to divulge any personal information such as their name, home address, school name or phone number. They should not upload or email pictures of themselves to people they don’t know personally, or to arrange any face-to-face meetings with someone they met online.
Teach them that not everything they read or are told online is true, or some people may not be who they say they are. They should not respond to messages from strangers or those that are harassing or obscene.
Be aware of the privacy policies and the type and amount of personal information required by sites that you or your child register with and use. Install filtering and blocking software, or those that can monitor and track online activities.
If your child uses any computer outside your home, such as in school, at the library or a friend’s home, find out if they have such measures in place to protect the users.
Teach them to use the Internet responsibly. Show them the benefits of using it for their studies and homework, and how to play educational games and communicate with their friends safely.
Also keep them occupied with other activities such as music, sports or other projects. These are much healthier and safer activities compared to joining a chat room full of strangers and spending too much time surfing the Web while snacking on junk food.
theSun, Tues 26 Oct 2010
IT IS said that for every ‘good’ thing, there may be a ‘bad’ side. We need to know how to exploit the pros for our benefit and control the cons to be safe.
So it is with our usage of the Internet. If adults can become victims of Internet addictions, stalkers, scammers and other dangerous elements, young children and teenagers who are innocent and more trusting would face higher risks when they venture into the Internet world.
Even if they don’t join chat rooms and befriend strangers on the Internet, our children’s privacy has been found to be compromised.
In a Sept 17 report in the online version of the Wall Street Journal titled On the Web, Children Face Intensive Tracking, Steve Stecklow reported the Journal’s investigation and findings on "tiny tracking tools used by data-collection companies to follow people as they surf the Internet".
Profiles detailing your online activities, behaviour and personal interests are then built and sold to advertisers. Although the profiles don’t include names, they can include "age, tastes, hobbies, shopping habits, race, likelihood to post comments and general location, such as city".
It is important to remember that when we allow our children to use the Internet, we also need to teach them about Internet safety. We need to supervise or monitor their online activities regularly to ensure that their exposure to risks and dangers are minimised.
For young children, it is best that you be with them when they are searching for information or playing games online. At times, a spelling mistake when typing a keyword into a search engine could lead to sites that are unsuitable. Bookmark the sites that your child frequently visits for easier and direct access.
Place your computer in a common and open area in the house, not in a bedroom, so that the computer screen is visible to you as you go about your chores around the house.
Talk to your children and create awareness of cyber-bullying, sexual victimisation and other possible online risks. Tell them never to divulge any personal information such as their name, home address, school name or phone number. They should not upload or email pictures of themselves to people they don’t know personally, or to arrange any face-to-face meetings with someone they met online.
Teach them that not everything they read or are told online is true, or some people may not be who they say they are. They should not respond to messages from strangers or those that are harassing or obscene.
Be aware of the privacy policies and the type and amount of personal information required by sites that you or your child register with and use. Install filtering and blocking software, or those that can monitor and track online activities.
If your child uses any computer outside your home, such as in school, at the library or a friend’s home, find out if they have such measures in place to protect the users.
Teach them to use the Internet responsibly. Show them the benefits of using it for their studies and homework, and how to play educational games and communicate with their friends safely.
Also keep them occupied with other activities such as music, sports or other projects. These are much healthier and safer activities compared to joining a chat room full of strangers and spending too much time surfing the Web while snacking on junk food.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Home work
It’s still a constant struggle to balance career and family even if the office is in the house
theSun, Tue, 12 Oct 2010
ONE OF the challenges a work-at-home-mother (WAHM) faces is balancing work and family. We want to do well in our work, yet we must fulfil our responsibilities to our family. After all, our children are the main reason we left the rat race to work from home.
While we all have our good and bad days, we tell ourselves that it is a good, or for some, the best, decision we’ve made in our lives.
That, however, doesn’t remove the fact that it’s a constant struggle to spend our time effectively to achieve all we set out to do.
When organising our time to care for our children as a WAHM, we need to be realistic. Bringing up children without having to work is already a huge task in itself. Once you throw in a work-from-home job, tell yourself that there’s no such thing as perfection all the time.
The picture of a neat and tidy home with a woman sitting in front of her computer working calmly, while her children are quietly doing their homework is usually just that – a picture. That seldom happens in reality, so don’t tear your hair out to make that happen.
Don’t expect to be able to keep your house in tip-top condition, especially when you do not have hired help who can dust and tidy for you all day long.
You can however enlist your children to help. Give them age-appropriate chores. They need to learn to be responsible for their own room, books and toys.
Cultivate the spirit of teamwork within the family.
With cooking, don’t try to be the Iron Chef. Opt for nutritious yet convenient recipes. Use your steamer, crockpot and helpful utensils that reduce cooking and preparation time such as a food processor or pressure cooker.
Cook in bulk and freeze, and plan ahead your menu and grocery shopping for the week. Make a list to avoid wasting time and money having to make a last-minute dash to get a bunch of stuff.
Know your priorities and if your work has reached your eyeballs, it’s time to slow down. Re-schedule, re-prioritise or take on fewer assignments if possible.
Find out the best time of day when you can work uninterrupted – in the mornings when everyone is at work and school, at night when they are asleep, or when they are napping or watching television during the day.
Take time off for yourself, even if it is just for half an hour. Better yet, schedule ‘me’ time once a week where you can get out of the house and do as you please.
You may need to learn to let go and trust others to man the fort at home. You need to have the support of your spouse or learn to be ‘thick-skinned’ enough to ask others for help in babysitting.
When you are working, be disciplined. Avoid distractions and procrastination by making a to-do list. Stay focused, work on one thing at a time.
Sometimes you may make more mistakes when you overdo it with multitasking.
Having shared all these, I must admit that I have not been the most exemplary WAHM when it comes to following my own tips.
I am human after all, and if you are in the same boat, remember that it is the means, and not the end that matters all the time.
theSun, Tue, 12 Oct 2010
ONE OF the challenges a work-at-home-mother (WAHM) faces is balancing work and family. We want to do well in our work, yet we must fulfil our responsibilities to our family. After all, our children are the main reason we left the rat race to work from home.
While we all have our good and bad days, we tell ourselves that it is a good, or for some, the best, decision we’ve made in our lives.
That, however, doesn’t remove the fact that it’s a constant struggle to spend our time effectively to achieve all we set out to do.
When organising our time to care for our children as a WAHM, we need to be realistic. Bringing up children without having to work is already a huge task in itself. Once you throw in a work-from-home job, tell yourself that there’s no such thing as perfection all the time.
The picture of a neat and tidy home with a woman sitting in front of her computer working calmly, while her children are quietly doing their homework is usually just that – a picture. That seldom happens in reality, so don’t tear your hair out to make that happen.
Don’t expect to be able to keep your house in tip-top condition, especially when you do not have hired help who can dust and tidy for you all day long.
You can however enlist your children to help. Give them age-appropriate chores. They need to learn to be responsible for their own room, books and toys.
Cultivate the spirit of teamwork within the family.
With cooking, don’t try to be the Iron Chef. Opt for nutritious yet convenient recipes. Use your steamer, crockpot and helpful utensils that reduce cooking and preparation time such as a food processor or pressure cooker.
Cook in bulk and freeze, and plan ahead your menu and grocery shopping for the week. Make a list to avoid wasting time and money having to make a last-minute dash to get a bunch of stuff.
Know your priorities and if your work has reached your eyeballs, it’s time to slow down. Re-schedule, re-prioritise or take on fewer assignments if possible.
Find out the best time of day when you can work uninterrupted – in the mornings when everyone is at work and school, at night when they are asleep, or when they are napping or watching television during the day.
Take time off for yourself, even if it is just for half an hour. Better yet, schedule ‘me’ time once a week where you can get out of the house and do as you please.
You may need to learn to let go and trust others to man the fort at home. You need to have the support of your spouse or learn to be ‘thick-skinned’ enough to ask others for help in babysitting.
When you are working, be disciplined. Avoid distractions and procrastination by making a to-do list. Stay focused, work on one thing at a time.
Sometimes you may make more mistakes when you overdo it with multitasking.
Having shared all these, I must admit that I have not been the most exemplary WAHM when it comes to following my own tips.
I am human after all, and if you are in the same boat, remember that it is the means, and not the end that matters all the time.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Taking the biting out
Instead of punishing the child who likes to bite others, try to find out what drives the child to do it
theSun, Tues, 28 Sept 2010
Your toddler returns from nursery school one day with a bite mark. Your first thought as a protective mother is to find out which brat did that to your precious one and probably give that child a taste of his or her own medicine.
Many of us parents have surely encountered such an experience, either with our child being the victim or more embarrassingly, the biter.
Biting the culprit back, according to experts, is definitely not the remedy.
We should never allow our child to seek revenge because if we do, it tells them that biting or violence is an acceptable way to resolve problems.
What is paramount is to learn why children bite.
You must understand that it is natural for children to do so. When they start teething, they bite to find relief from the discomfort of swelling and tender gums.
They will sink their teeth into anything from toys, the spoon they are eating from, or your finger.
Nursing mothers will share their painful tales too as the young ones are unable to differentiate between biting an object or a person.
Children love to explore. They do it by smelling, touching, hearing and tasting. Biting is another way. They are discovering cause and effect.
They sometimes bite to find out what will happen, and are not aware that it hurts someone when they bite them.
Some children bite to gain attention and get what they want. When they tussle for a toy, one child might bite the other to gain power over the toy, or to chase the other child away.
Children learn by imitating. They see others biting and may want to try it out. When they get bitten and lose the tussle for the toy they want, they might just bite back in self-defence, or use this tactic the next time they get into a similar situation.
Parents and caregivers need to respond calmly but quickly when a child bites another. Comfort the victim and attend to the wound. Then be firm with the biter, telling him sternly that she/he must not bite and that it hurts the other child.
Separate them and give them different activities to do.
If they are fighting over a toy, you may want to distract one of them with another interesting toy or activity if they are still too young to understand the concept of sharing.
When they have learnt to share, remember to praise them specifically for their behaviour. Children love to be praised and will be encouraged to continue practising the good habit when you tell them how proud you are of them.
As they have yet to develop the skills to fully express their feelings and needs, children sometimes resort to biting, hitting, kicking or pushing to express their anger and frustration.
Encourage them to use words to express their feelings. Talk to them and help them use the correct words. Tell them firmly that it is wrong to bite and teach them to say: "I’m angry, I want that toy" or to go to you or their caregiver immediately when they get into such situations.
This could minimise the chances of them biting out of frustration, anger or in self-defence.
theSun, Tues, 28 Sept 2010
Your toddler returns from nursery school one day with a bite mark. Your first thought as a protective mother is to find out which brat did that to your precious one and probably give that child a taste of his or her own medicine.
Many of us parents have surely encountered such an experience, either with our child being the victim or more embarrassingly, the biter.
Biting the culprit back, according to experts, is definitely not the remedy.
We should never allow our child to seek revenge because if we do, it tells them that biting or violence is an acceptable way to resolve problems.
What is paramount is to learn why children bite.
You must understand that it is natural for children to do so. When they start teething, they bite to find relief from the discomfort of swelling and tender gums.
They will sink their teeth into anything from toys, the spoon they are eating from, or your finger.
Nursing mothers will share their painful tales too as the young ones are unable to differentiate between biting an object or a person.
Children love to explore. They do it by smelling, touching, hearing and tasting. Biting is another way. They are discovering cause and effect.
They sometimes bite to find out what will happen, and are not aware that it hurts someone when they bite them.
Some children bite to gain attention and get what they want. When they tussle for a toy, one child might bite the other to gain power over the toy, or to chase the other child away.
Children learn by imitating. They see others biting and may want to try it out. When they get bitten and lose the tussle for the toy they want, they might just bite back in self-defence, or use this tactic the next time they get into a similar situation.
Parents and caregivers need to respond calmly but quickly when a child bites another. Comfort the victim and attend to the wound. Then be firm with the biter, telling him sternly that she/he must not bite and that it hurts the other child.
Separate them and give them different activities to do.
If they are fighting over a toy, you may want to distract one of them with another interesting toy or activity if they are still too young to understand the concept of sharing.
When they have learnt to share, remember to praise them specifically for their behaviour. Children love to be praised and will be encouraged to continue practising the good habit when you tell them how proud you are of them.
As they have yet to develop the skills to fully express their feelings and needs, children sometimes resort to biting, hitting, kicking or pushing to express their anger and frustration.
Encourage them to use words to express their feelings. Talk to them and help them use the correct words. Tell them firmly that it is wrong to bite and teach them to say: "I’m angry, I want that toy" or to go to you or their caregiver immediately when they get into such situations.
This could minimise the chances of them biting out of frustration, anger or in self-defence.
Friday, September 17, 2010
More than child's play
Playing dress-up will sharpen children’s creativity as well as their imagination
theSun, Tue, 14 Sep 2010
CHILDREN, both girls and boys alike, aged four or five enjoy trying on clothes and accessories. They simply love to experiment with how they look.
Girls may try out a dozen hair clips or necklaces and mummy’s high heels, while boys will want to dress up like daddy by trying on ties, and requesting for fancy jeans, belts or shoes.
At that age, they grow more conscious of their appearance and would want to choose their own clothes. With your guidance, they learn how to make decisions.
As long as your daughter is dressing up appropriately for the occasion or weather, just give in at times if she decides to wear orange socks with her pink polka-dot dress, for example.
According to Dr Dorothy Einon, author of Creative Play for 2-5s, around this age, "your child now moves more like a little adult than a baby, and being a little adult also characterises many of her other skills and attributes. She now has a great deal more in common with herself at 16 years than herself at 16 months."
In her book, the writer recommends playing dress-up for children at this age. Playing dress-up is an activity that allows your child to have fun while developing their creativity and imagination.
Leave them to their own devices and you’ll be amazed at the characters they come up with. You will see how clever they are at improvising with things to make the props or costumes they need.
Start a collection of dress-up clothes like old scarves, shawls, hats, cloaks, jewellery, bags, sunglasses, hair clips, etc.
Also include props like a toy mobile phone, briefcase, apron, utensils, fireman’s helmet, stethoscope, wand, sword, eye patch - anything that helps them create a character they can dress up as.
Make these easily accessible by keeping them in a special box or drawer.
Besides sparking their creativity and imagination, the act of putting on and taking off clothes, buckling up, fastening or unfastening buttons gives them fine motor skill practice.
Playing dress-up also helps them overcome fears and learn new things. Playing doctor, nurse or dentist could help your child not be afraid of going to the clinic, taking shots or medicine. Playing teacher could reassure your child that going to preschool is fun, while playing engineer or mechanic could teach your child how a car works.
When children play together, they learn to share not only props but ideas. They develop interpersonal skills and learn to be tolerant, to share and cooperate.
They practise communication and negotiation skills when they choose costumes, decide on the pretend-play scenario and storyline they want, and who plays the villain or hero, for instance. They learn to be expressive and improve their vocabulary.
By playing ‘good’ and ‘bad’ roles, they learn the difference between right and wrong. They learn to how to amuse themselves and see their role in the family. They become clearer about their gender identity and understand differences between men and women.
They also learn about the world around them and understand the many different roles and responsibilities people have. They will grow up with self-confidence.
theSun, Tue, 14 Sep 2010
CHILDREN, both girls and boys alike, aged four or five enjoy trying on clothes and accessories. They simply love to experiment with how they look.
Girls may try out a dozen hair clips or necklaces and mummy’s high heels, while boys will want to dress up like daddy by trying on ties, and requesting for fancy jeans, belts or shoes.
At that age, they grow more conscious of their appearance and would want to choose their own clothes. With your guidance, they learn how to make decisions.
As long as your daughter is dressing up appropriately for the occasion or weather, just give in at times if she decides to wear orange socks with her pink polka-dot dress, for example.
According to Dr Dorothy Einon, author of Creative Play for 2-5s, around this age, "your child now moves more like a little adult than a baby, and being a little adult also characterises many of her other skills and attributes. She now has a great deal more in common with herself at 16 years than herself at 16 months."
In her book, the writer recommends playing dress-up for children at this age. Playing dress-up is an activity that allows your child to have fun while developing their creativity and imagination.
Leave them to their own devices and you’ll be amazed at the characters they come up with. You will see how clever they are at improvising with things to make the props or costumes they need.
Start a collection of dress-up clothes like old scarves, shawls, hats, cloaks, jewellery, bags, sunglasses, hair clips, etc.
Also include props like a toy mobile phone, briefcase, apron, utensils, fireman’s helmet, stethoscope, wand, sword, eye patch - anything that helps them create a character they can dress up as.
Make these easily accessible by keeping them in a special box or drawer.
Besides sparking their creativity and imagination, the act of putting on and taking off clothes, buckling up, fastening or unfastening buttons gives them fine motor skill practice.
Playing dress-up also helps them overcome fears and learn new things. Playing doctor, nurse or dentist could help your child not be afraid of going to the clinic, taking shots or medicine. Playing teacher could reassure your child that going to preschool is fun, while playing engineer or mechanic could teach your child how a car works.
When children play together, they learn to share not only props but ideas. They develop interpersonal skills and learn to be tolerant, to share and cooperate.
They practise communication and negotiation skills when they choose costumes, decide on the pretend-play scenario and storyline they want, and who plays the villain or hero, for instance. They learn to be expressive and improve their vocabulary.
By playing ‘good’ and ‘bad’ roles, they learn the difference between right and wrong. They learn to how to amuse themselves and see their role in the family. They become clearer about their gender identity and understand differences between men and women.
They also learn about the world around them and understand the many different roles and responsibilities people have. They will grow up with self-confidence.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Classic board-games
Playing chess, Scrabble and Monopoly is fun and educational for both young and old
theSun, Tue, 24 Aug 2010
THESE DAYS, children have the privilege to pick and choose colourful custom-made toys and games from mega toy stores. On top of that, with today’s advanced technology, the young (and old) are spoilt for choice with electronic handheld games, video and computer games.
Many classic board-games such as chess, checkers, Scrabble or Monopoly tend to get sidelined for these more modern versions of fun. Board-games, however, are beneficial for children, and adults, in many ways.
They are a wonderful alternative and allow you to spend quality family time at home during weekends instead of traipsing around crowded malls window-shopping.
In a quieter and more relaxed home environment, where everyone is gathered around a game, conversations will naturally take place. Talk could initially be about the game but you’ll never know what golden opportunities for bonding and teaching morals and values you may have with them when they open up to share their ideas, problems, and feelings.
Board-games enhance educational and social skills. By playing board-games, children learn a variety of lessons. Young children get to practise counting, matching, colour recognition, reading and vocabulary.
There are games that develop motor skills, manual dexterity and eye-hand coordination for the younger children. There are also those that promote strategy, problem-solving and planning skills for the older ones.
Word-games, such as Scrabble or Boggle, develop language skills such as vocabulary and spelling while others that involve quizzes and questions may test your child’s general knowledge. Games that use ‘play money’ like Monopoly may teach children about various denominations, counting change and managing money. It also helps develop reasoning and social skills.
Studies have also shown that playing games like chess improves logical thinking, math and reading skills. Simple games like Snakes and Ladders can teach young children counting and, at the same time, how to handle disappointment. These games help children learn about life – that we do not win all the time and that there will be ups and downs.
With younger children, it may be all right to bend the rules or give in to them a little to help them win at first. This can help build their self-confidence, sustain their interest in the game, and have an enjoyable experience playing board-games.
Meanwhile, with older children, learning to play by the rules and not cheat can teach them about compliance, sportsmanship and honesty.
Many studies have shown that playing games is beneficial for everyone regardless of sex, socio-economic class, or age. It is also reported that playing board-games reduces the risk of Alzheimer’s in the elderly.
Another formal study, The Venezuela ‘Learning to Think Project’, concluded that chess, methodically taught, helps increase the IQ of elementary schoolchildren of both sexes.
Learning aside, playing board-games together as a family is a great way to relieve stress. It is a wholesome and fun activity that brings family and even friends together for a meaningful time of sharing. In such a setting, you share fun, laughter, and even food.
So if you’re thinking of doing something different this weekend with your children, how about wiping the dust off your board-game collection and start spinning some dice?
theSun, Tue, 24 Aug 2010
THESE DAYS, children have the privilege to pick and choose colourful custom-made toys and games from mega toy stores. On top of that, with today’s advanced technology, the young (and old) are spoilt for choice with electronic handheld games, video and computer games.
Many classic board-games such as chess, checkers, Scrabble or Monopoly tend to get sidelined for these more modern versions of fun. Board-games, however, are beneficial for children, and adults, in many ways.
They are a wonderful alternative and allow you to spend quality family time at home during weekends instead of traipsing around crowded malls window-shopping.
In a quieter and more relaxed home environment, where everyone is gathered around a game, conversations will naturally take place. Talk could initially be about the game but you’ll never know what golden opportunities for bonding and teaching morals and values you may have with them when they open up to share their ideas, problems, and feelings.
Board-games enhance educational and social skills. By playing board-games, children learn a variety of lessons. Young children get to practise counting, matching, colour recognition, reading and vocabulary.
There are games that develop motor skills, manual dexterity and eye-hand coordination for the younger children. There are also those that promote strategy, problem-solving and planning skills for the older ones.
Word-games, such as Scrabble or Boggle, develop language skills such as vocabulary and spelling while others that involve quizzes and questions may test your child’s general knowledge. Games that use ‘play money’ like Monopoly may teach children about various denominations, counting change and managing money. It also helps develop reasoning and social skills.
Studies have also shown that playing games like chess improves logical thinking, math and reading skills. Simple games like Snakes and Ladders can teach young children counting and, at the same time, how to handle disappointment. These games help children learn about life – that we do not win all the time and that there will be ups and downs.
With younger children, it may be all right to bend the rules or give in to them a little to help them win at first. This can help build their self-confidence, sustain their interest in the game, and have an enjoyable experience playing board-games.
Meanwhile, with older children, learning to play by the rules and not cheat can teach them about compliance, sportsmanship and honesty.
Many studies have shown that playing games is beneficial for everyone regardless of sex, socio-economic class, or age. It is also reported that playing board-games reduces the risk of Alzheimer’s in the elderly.
Another formal study, The Venezuela ‘Learning to Think Project’, concluded that chess, methodically taught, helps increase the IQ of elementary schoolchildren of both sexes.
Learning aside, playing board-games together as a family is a great way to relieve stress. It is a wholesome and fun activity that brings family and even friends together for a meaningful time of sharing. In such a setting, you share fun, laughter, and even food.
So if you’re thinking of doing something different this weekend with your children, how about wiping the dust off your board-game collection and start spinning some dice?
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Finding the right balance
theSun, Tue, 10 Aug 2010
CHILDREN are not spared when we see the increasing number of cardiovascular, obesity and diabetes cases around the world, even in Malaysia.
An article on childhood obesity, published in the Malaysian Journal of Nutrition (March 2004), quoted research by Segal D.G. and Sanchez J.C. (2001) that "after an obese child reaches six years of age, the probability that obesity will persist into adulthood exceeds 50%, and [that] 70% to 80% of obese adolescents will remain so as adults".
The writers also quoted that as increasing numbers of overweight children and adolescents progress to adulthood, cardiovascular, respiratory, gastrointestinal, endocrine and psychosocial problems are expected to reach epidemic proportions.
While eating out or buying take-away lunches are more convenient options for our busy lifestyles, try to schedule some family meal times for certain meals such as dinner, or on certain days of the week when everyone is available to sit down together for a home-cooked meal.
Eating together not only provides family time for bonding, it also gives you the opportunity to prepare a well-balanced meal for the family. You can work more fruits and vegetables into the menu, and cut down on fried and processed foods.
Eating together also gives you the opportunity to introduce new types of food to younger children. It may, however, require a few attempts and some patience to get junior to eat mashed potatoes instead of French fries for instance.
While carrot and celery sticks, or apples and bananas may be boring compared to a bag of chips or candy, some creativity could change perspectives.
Serve them with healthy dips or accompaniments such as peanut butter, cheese or tomato salsa. And include fruits into your wholemeal pancakes, and diced vegetables into your omelettes for example.
Do not bribe children with candy or junk food. Do not force them to finish everything on their plate if they can’t. This will help them learn to ‘listen’ to their appetite and not overeat when they are older.
Involve your children as much as you can when shopping and preparing food. Take them with you for grocery shopping. Show them the various food you need to complete the food pyramid for a balanced diet. Teach them to read food labels. Tell them the different nutrients your body need and in which types of food they can be found.
If you have a garden, get them involved by planting vegetables they like. Ask them to help you wash, cut, peel and chop when cooking. Children tend to be more interested in eating the food they have helped to grow and prepare.
Healthy eating ideas can also be imparted to children when you role-play with them and when you read books about health and food together with them.
Among some fun titles to pore over are Oh the Things You Can Do That are Good for You!: All About Staying Healthy (part of the Cat in the Hat Learning Library Series) by Tish Rabe, Cookie by Lisa Woomer and The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Junk Food by Stan and Jan Berenstain.
It is without doubt that parents play an important role in teaching children to eat healthily. When children learn to do this from young, they are more likely to continue this habit as they grow older.
CHILDREN are not spared when we see the increasing number of cardiovascular, obesity and diabetes cases around the world, even in Malaysia.
An article on childhood obesity, published in the Malaysian Journal of Nutrition (March 2004), quoted research by Segal D.G. and Sanchez J.C. (2001) that "after an obese child reaches six years of age, the probability that obesity will persist into adulthood exceeds 50%, and [that] 70% to 80% of obese adolescents will remain so as adults".
The writers also quoted that as increasing numbers of overweight children and adolescents progress to adulthood, cardiovascular, respiratory, gastrointestinal, endocrine and psychosocial problems are expected to reach epidemic proportions.
While eating out or buying take-away lunches are more convenient options for our busy lifestyles, try to schedule some family meal times for certain meals such as dinner, or on certain days of the week when everyone is available to sit down together for a home-cooked meal.
Eating together not only provides family time for bonding, it also gives you the opportunity to prepare a well-balanced meal for the family. You can work more fruits and vegetables into the menu, and cut down on fried and processed foods.
Eating together also gives you the opportunity to introduce new types of food to younger children. It may, however, require a few attempts and some patience to get junior to eat mashed potatoes instead of French fries for instance.
While carrot and celery sticks, or apples and bananas may be boring compared to a bag of chips or candy, some creativity could change perspectives.
Serve them with healthy dips or accompaniments such as peanut butter, cheese or tomato salsa. And include fruits into your wholemeal pancakes, and diced vegetables into your omelettes for example.
Do not bribe children with candy or junk food. Do not force them to finish everything on their plate if they can’t. This will help them learn to ‘listen’ to their appetite and not overeat when they are older.
Involve your children as much as you can when shopping and preparing food. Take them with you for grocery shopping. Show them the various food you need to complete the food pyramid for a balanced diet. Teach them to read food labels. Tell them the different nutrients your body need and in which types of food they can be found.
If you have a garden, get them involved by planting vegetables they like. Ask them to help you wash, cut, peel and chop when cooking. Children tend to be more interested in eating the food they have helped to grow and prepare.
Healthy eating ideas can also be imparted to children when you role-play with them and when you read books about health and food together with them.
Among some fun titles to pore over are Oh the Things You Can Do That are Good for You!: All About Staying Healthy (part of the Cat in the Hat Learning Library Series) by Tish Rabe, Cookie by Lisa Woomer and The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Junk Food by Stan and Jan Berenstain.
It is without doubt that parents play an important role in teaching children to eat healthily. When children learn to do this from young, they are more likely to continue this habit as they grow older.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Water lessons
theSun, Tue, 27 Jul 2010
CHILDREN simply love to play with water, don’t they? I remember enjoying it myself when I was a child. I ‘swam’ in the bath tub, played with live tadpoles in it (yes, I really did), washed my dolly’s clothes in a basin, and ‘shot’ at my brother with a water pistol.
Water play is a fun and educational way to keep our children cool on hot days, and occupied those boring hours in a stimulating manner. It’s also a clever way to get those who refuse a bath to step into the tub (and later, to refuse to step out!).
Whether it’s indoors or outdoors, water play helps children, from infants and toddlers to school-age ones, develop skills and learn something from it.
By filling and carrying a bucket, pouring a cup of ‘tea’ and stirring, or scooping water from one bowl into another, children are actually developing their motor skills and hand-eye coordination.
Water is a sensory-play material that is beneficial for children, similar to other sensory-play materials such as sand and play dough. Their senses are stimulated when they feel water run through their body and fingers, when playing with ice cubes and experiencing them melting, and when splashing and kicking about in a tub or pool.
They learn the difference between wet and dry, solid and liquid, for example. They improve their vocabulary with words such as heavy, light, sink, float, shallow, deep, empty and full.
They learn math and science concepts such as mass and volume. They learn how to measure and see how a liquid changes ‘shape’ when poured into containers of different shapes and sizes.
And when they mix water with materials such as salt, sugar, coffee or food colouring, they learn how water can change in terms of taste and colour, what’s soluble and insoluble.
Water play provides the opportunity for free and creative play. Imagination is given free reign when you throw a few simple things into the bathwater – plastic bowls, cups, drinking straws, and funnel, for example. And animal bath toys, sponges, plastic or paper boats could turn the bathtub into adventureland.
While water play could be fun and beneficial in the overall physical, mental, emotional and social development of a child, we need to be mindful of potential dangers as well.
Always supervise your child when she is playing with water. Never leave a child alone in the tub or swimming pool for even a split second to answer the phone in the next room, for example. Inconvenient as it is, take her with you.
Little ones can drown in less than an inch of water. Like us adults, they could also slip and fall on wet floors.
Do not leave buckets filled with water lying around where children can easily reach them. Empty them after use.
Childproofing bathroom doors to prevent young children from entering them unsupervised is a good idea. Drain paddling pools after use, and erect enclosures or cover the swimming pool to prevent children from accidentally falling into the water.
Learn how to swim as a family. It is a good skill to have besides giving you good exercise. Ensure you have proper flotation devices for your children (and yourself) when you indulge in water activities such as swimming in the pool, lake or sea, or going on a boat ride.
CHILDREN simply love to play with water, don’t they? I remember enjoying it myself when I was a child. I ‘swam’ in the bath tub, played with live tadpoles in it (yes, I really did), washed my dolly’s clothes in a basin, and ‘shot’ at my brother with a water pistol.
Water play is a fun and educational way to keep our children cool on hot days, and occupied those boring hours in a stimulating manner. It’s also a clever way to get those who refuse a bath to step into the tub (and later, to refuse to step out!).
Whether it’s indoors or outdoors, water play helps children, from infants and toddlers to school-age ones, develop skills and learn something from it.
By filling and carrying a bucket, pouring a cup of ‘tea’ and stirring, or scooping water from one bowl into another, children are actually developing their motor skills and hand-eye coordination.
Water is a sensory-play material that is beneficial for children, similar to other sensory-play materials such as sand and play dough. Their senses are stimulated when they feel water run through their body and fingers, when playing with ice cubes and experiencing them melting, and when splashing and kicking about in a tub or pool.
They learn the difference between wet and dry, solid and liquid, for example. They improve their vocabulary with words such as heavy, light, sink, float, shallow, deep, empty and full.
They learn math and science concepts such as mass and volume. They learn how to measure and see how a liquid changes ‘shape’ when poured into containers of different shapes and sizes.
And when they mix water with materials such as salt, sugar, coffee or food colouring, they learn how water can change in terms of taste and colour, what’s soluble and insoluble.
Water play provides the opportunity for free and creative play. Imagination is given free reign when you throw a few simple things into the bathwater – plastic bowls, cups, drinking straws, and funnel, for example. And animal bath toys, sponges, plastic or paper boats could turn the bathtub into adventureland.
While water play could be fun and beneficial in the overall physical, mental, emotional and social development of a child, we need to be mindful of potential dangers as well.
Always supervise your child when she is playing with water. Never leave a child alone in the tub or swimming pool for even a split second to answer the phone in the next room, for example. Inconvenient as it is, take her with you.
Little ones can drown in less than an inch of water. Like us adults, they could also slip and fall on wet floors.
Do not leave buckets filled with water lying around where children can easily reach them. Empty them after use.
Childproofing bathroom doors to prevent young children from entering them unsupervised is a good idea. Drain paddling pools after use, and erect enclosures or cover the swimming pool to prevent children from accidentally falling into the water.
Learn how to swim as a family. It is a good skill to have besides giving you good exercise. Ensure you have proper flotation devices for your children (and yourself) when you indulge in water activities such as swimming in the pool, lake or sea, or going on a boat ride.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Separation anxiety
theSun, Tue, 20 Jul 2010
THE memory of it is still fresh although it happened four years ago – the first time I sent my child to nursery school. She was then three years old.
I had prepared her for it as best as I could, but when the moment came for me to leave, the floodgates opened and the school bell was no match for her bawling.
I was advised by the experienced teacher to simply say a reassuring goodbye and leave her in their good hands. I plucked up the courage to trust the teachers and left, albeit with a heavy heart.
When I returned a couple of hours later and took a peek through the window, there she was, still crying and calling out for me.
While the crying bouts decreased as the days passed, it took her about two weeks before she could say goodbye to me with a smile.
I’m sure many parents have experienced a similar situation.
Young children become anxious or fearful when they experience new people, new surroundings, changes to their routine and most of all, when they are separated from the people they have close bonds with, such as their parents or caregiver.
Separation anxiety, as it is termed, usually happens when the child has discovered the concept of object permanence, whereby something or someone still exists when out of his sight.
This usually takes place when the child is around nine months old and peaks between 12 to 24 months.
Toddlers, especially those who have less experience in being separated from loved ones, will also feel it more.
It also happens to older children when they start formal schooling or when a situation arises where a loved one is going away.
There are some steps we can take to soften the blow.
Place your child with an alternate caregiver without your presence occasionally. Provide him with positive and fun experiences with caregivers for short periods of time.
Do not sneak away without his knowledge. Instead, tell him reassuringly that you will be back and that he will be all right.
Before you leave, give him an object of yours to keep safely on your behalf such as a photograph of yourself or a keychain for example, so that he’ll know that you’ll come back for it and him.
You can also read books about going to nursery or pre-school and going on new adventures.
If possible, familiarise him with the new surroundings and people he will be with, prior to the ‘official’ time when he starts at the daycare or school.
Make informal visits there to see the place, teachers and new friends. Walk around the place, tell him what he will be doing, especially the fun activities and toys he’ll get to play with while you are away.
Although it could be a trying period of transition for both the child and parent, rest assured that it would come to pass sooner or with a bit more patience, later.
However, you may need to consider seeking professional help if your child displays persistent and extreme anxiety, such as having recurrent nightmares about being separated, fear of being alone, kidnapped or lost, and excessive worrying that bad things will happen to his loved ones.
He may refuse to go to sleep without being near his loved one, and often complain of physical problems such as stomachaches or headaches when being separated.
These are some symptoms of a separate problem called separation anxiety disorder.
THE memory of it is still fresh although it happened four years ago – the first time I sent my child to nursery school. She was then three years old.
I had prepared her for it as best as I could, but when the moment came for me to leave, the floodgates opened and the school bell was no match for her bawling.
I was advised by the experienced teacher to simply say a reassuring goodbye and leave her in their good hands. I plucked up the courage to trust the teachers and left, albeit with a heavy heart.
When I returned a couple of hours later and took a peek through the window, there she was, still crying and calling out for me.
While the crying bouts decreased as the days passed, it took her about two weeks before she could say goodbye to me with a smile.
I’m sure many parents have experienced a similar situation.
Young children become anxious or fearful when they experience new people, new surroundings, changes to their routine and most of all, when they are separated from the people they have close bonds with, such as their parents or caregiver.
Separation anxiety, as it is termed, usually happens when the child has discovered the concept of object permanence, whereby something or someone still exists when out of his sight.
This usually takes place when the child is around nine months old and peaks between 12 to 24 months.
Toddlers, especially those who have less experience in being separated from loved ones, will also feel it more.
It also happens to older children when they start formal schooling or when a situation arises where a loved one is going away.
There are some steps we can take to soften the blow.
Place your child with an alternate caregiver without your presence occasionally. Provide him with positive and fun experiences with caregivers for short periods of time.
Do not sneak away without his knowledge. Instead, tell him reassuringly that you will be back and that he will be all right.
Before you leave, give him an object of yours to keep safely on your behalf such as a photograph of yourself or a keychain for example, so that he’ll know that you’ll come back for it and him.
You can also read books about going to nursery or pre-school and going on new adventures.
If possible, familiarise him with the new surroundings and people he will be with, prior to the ‘official’ time when he starts at the daycare or school.
Make informal visits there to see the place, teachers and new friends. Walk around the place, tell him what he will be doing, especially the fun activities and toys he’ll get to play with while you are away.
Although it could be a trying period of transition for both the child and parent, rest assured that it would come to pass sooner or with a bit more patience, later.
However, you may need to consider seeking professional help if your child displays persistent and extreme anxiety, such as having recurrent nightmares about being separated, fear of being alone, kidnapped or lost, and excessive worrying that bad things will happen to his loved ones.
He may refuse to go to sleep without being near his loved one, and often complain of physical problems such as stomachaches or headaches when being separated.
These are some symptoms of a separate problem called separation anxiety disorder.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Getting Physical
theSun, Tue, 6 Jul 2010
CHILDREN, like adults, need to exercise regularly to stay healthy. Exercise actually involves physical activity, and when children run around, hop about and dance along to their favourite music, they are exercising.
While it is good to enrol children in exercise-related classes such as swimming, martial arts, dance or gymnastics, children also need unstructured playtime to keep them active constantly in between those structured exercise sessions.
Experts recommend at least 30 to 60 minutes of daily exercise for children above two years of age. It is quite common these days to see children sedentary for long periods due to the availability of media-related distractions such as television, computer and game consoles. Media time has to be controlled so that children can get some ‘total body workout’.
It has been found that sitting in front of the television munching on unhealthy snacks and exercising only your fingers by playing computer games have contributed to an increase in child obesity cases around the world.
According to kidshealth.org, active children will have stronger muscles and bones; a leaner body because exercise helps control body fat; be less likely to become overweight; have lower risk of developing type 2 diabetes; with possibly lower blood pressure and blood cholesterol levels; and have a better outlook on life.
They will also sleep better at night and are better able to handle physical and emotional challenges.
Make exercise a fun family affair so that they will be eager to participate. Children whose parents are active and exercise regularly are more likely to follow in their footsteps.
These days, with crime rates rising, parents may fear harm befalling their children if they are let out on their own to play outside.
If possible, it is best to accompany your children when they are outdoors and join them in their physical activities. Not only will your children be safe but it will give you the opportunity to spend quality time bonding with them.
You can also take them to the many purpose-built activity centres that have mushroomed around town. For a fee, these places offer activities ranging from toddlers’ gym, inline skating, indoor playground, dance and martial arts classes to indoor rock climbing. Most are located in strategic places such as shopping malls and offer ‘park-and-play’ services where you can ‘park’ your child under proper supervision while you shop or run errands nearby.
You can also play with your children within your house compound if it is not convenient to go to public places. Organise activities such as skipping and playing tag, or indulge in games like hopscotch and hide-and-seek.
You can also dance to fast songs or twirl the hula hoop. Put on a fun exercise DVD that is age-appropriate for your children and get them moving along with it if it is raining and you can’t go outside.
Play ‘pretend’ games such as having to jump over imaginary puddles to reach the ‘treasure chest’, ‘Mother Hen’, tug-of-war, or create a simple obstacle course that makes them run, hop, jump, crawl and climb.
The main idea is to simply get everyone moving regularly, working up some sweat and along with that an appetite for nutritious food to create a family that is happy, healthy and fit.
CHILDREN, like adults, need to exercise regularly to stay healthy. Exercise actually involves physical activity, and when children run around, hop about and dance along to their favourite music, they are exercising.
While it is good to enrol children in exercise-related classes such as swimming, martial arts, dance or gymnastics, children also need unstructured playtime to keep them active constantly in between those structured exercise sessions.
Experts recommend at least 30 to 60 minutes of daily exercise for children above two years of age. It is quite common these days to see children sedentary for long periods due to the availability of media-related distractions such as television, computer and game consoles. Media time has to be controlled so that children can get some ‘total body workout’.
It has been found that sitting in front of the television munching on unhealthy snacks and exercising only your fingers by playing computer games have contributed to an increase in child obesity cases around the world.
According to kidshealth.org, active children will have stronger muscles and bones; a leaner body because exercise helps control body fat; be less likely to become overweight; have lower risk of developing type 2 diabetes; with possibly lower blood pressure and blood cholesterol levels; and have a better outlook on life.
They will also sleep better at night and are better able to handle physical and emotional challenges.
Make exercise a fun family affair so that they will be eager to participate. Children whose parents are active and exercise regularly are more likely to follow in their footsteps.
These days, with crime rates rising, parents may fear harm befalling their children if they are let out on their own to play outside.
If possible, it is best to accompany your children when they are outdoors and join them in their physical activities. Not only will your children be safe but it will give you the opportunity to spend quality time bonding with them.
You can also take them to the many purpose-built activity centres that have mushroomed around town. For a fee, these places offer activities ranging from toddlers’ gym, inline skating, indoor playground, dance and martial arts classes to indoor rock climbing. Most are located in strategic places such as shopping malls and offer ‘park-and-play’ services where you can ‘park’ your child under proper supervision while you shop or run errands nearby.
You can also play with your children within your house compound if it is not convenient to go to public places. Organise activities such as skipping and playing tag, or indulge in games like hopscotch and hide-and-seek.
You can also dance to fast songs or twirl the hula hoop. Put on a fun exercise DVD that is age-appropriate for your children and get them moving along with it if it is raining and you can’t go outside.
Play ‘pretend’ games such as having to jump over imaginary puddles to reach the ‘treasure chest’, ‘Mother Hen’, tug-of-war, or create a simple obstacle course that makes them run, hop, jump, crawl and climb.
The main idea is to simply get everyone moving regularly, working up some sweat and along with that an appetite for nutritious food to create a family that is happy, healthy and fit.
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