Tue, 17 Mar 2009
Teasing is common among schoolchildren but this does not mean they should be taken lightly or ignored
Children who tease and call others names may have picked up the bad habit from those around them.
MY daughter came home from school one day complaining about a classmate who called her names. Name-calling and teasing are common among schoolchildren but this does not mean they should be taken lightly or ignored.
Frequent name-calling, insulting or negative labeling will have undesirable effects on children. It will affect their personality development and lower the child’s self worth, esteem and confidence.
When a child’s sense of self has yet to fully develop, calling a child names and labeling him "stupid" for instance, may cause the child to believe that he is so. The child will then tend to act or behave in a manner that is consistent with that negative self-image.
How do we help a child handle such situations? In her book, My Name is Not Dummy, Elizabeth Crary, a parent educator with over 20 years’ experience, provides ideas on how to help a child overcome the problem. Here are a few.
» Ignore it – tell your child to completely ignore the unkind words and the person who says it. Do not glance in his direction, and talk with another student or read instead. Appear calm and unfazed. Usually, the teaser will lose interest and stop if he does not receive any response.
» Do the unexpected – when teasers don’t get the reaction they are looking for, they will tend to stop. For example, if a girl named Lizzie is being called "Dizzy Lizzie", she can turn around and say, "My full name is Elizabeth. Got any rhymes for that?" or "Do you have one that goes with Edward? He’s my brother."
» Ask for help – if a child has run out of ways for dealing with the problem on her own, then it is appropriate to ask an adult for help. In the above example, Lizzie might approach her teacher for help.
Lizzie’s parents can also help by affirming that she is not what they call her. They can ask, "Are you dizzy? If those kids say so, does that mean it’s true?" Help her differentiate fact from teasing words and understand that what people say of her is not necessarily right or true.
Children who tease and call others names may have picked up the bad habit from people around them such as family members, or through unsupervised television viewing.
The whole family needs to practise respect toward each other at all times. Set good examples and turn negative descriptions around by being careful with your choice of words.
For example, instead of "messy", use the word "tidy" or turn "mean" into "kind". Your words then change from "Don’t be mean to your sister" to "Please be kind to your sister".
Explain to them why name-calling is wrong, that it makes people unhappy when they do that. Ask them to imagine how they would feel if others called them names.
Certain children’s programmes on television compromise proper choice of words in their script for the sake of entertainment.
It may be funny when one cartoon character yells "Stupid!" or "You’re such a nerd!" but the odds are that the child will also use these words and think it is funny the next time he gets a chance to do so.
Be careful with what your child is exposed to and guide them in the right way when they encounter negative influence.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Music to child’s ears
The choice of a musical instrument should rest on the one who has to learn to play it
theSun, Tues 3 Mar 2009
MUSIC education is a wonderful gift to give your child. Not only does music help a child in developing her creativity and ability to express, it also helps develop confidence and cognitive skills for better performance in math and science.
When choosing an instrument for your child, be aware that it should be an instrument of his or her choice and not yours.
Be conscious of the reasons behind the choice of instrument. Did you choose it because you personally like how it sounds, or would have liked to play it but did not get the opportunity to when you were young, for instance?
While you may influence her a little, it should ultimately be one that she likes because after all, she will be the one learning and practising on it. A child would be more interested and committed to learning and practising an instrument that she is excited about.
Before deciding on one, show her the different types of instruments from the main categories of strings, brass, percussion and wind so that she can see and know what they look and sound like.
We are all drawn to how an instrument sounds and how it is played and so are children. Listen to music played by orchestras, bands and solo instruments, be it from CDs or at live performances. Discuss with her what you saw and heard, and how the instruments were played in different styles and pieces.
Consider her physical attributes, as some instruments may not be physically compatible. A petite child may not be able to carry a large cello case by herself, let alone play the instrument.
Some wind instruments require suitable lip structure or facial strength to play while others can only be properly played if you have adult teeth. Other instruments may require larger hands and more developed motor skills or dexterity.
Consider your budget for buying the instrument and paying for lessons. If you are not sure your child is committed, consider borrowing or renting first.
When buying, consider one of average quality that serves the purpose rather than splurge on a top-of-the-line or concert model. You can always upgrade later when your child shows more commitment and has made progress.
Playing a musical instrument should be fun and pleasurable. Find out what kind of music interests your child and if she prefers to play alone or in a group like a band or orchestra.
It is no use forcing her to learn the violin and play classical pieces when she enjoys making rocking rhythm on the drums more.
If you can, get a professional or a teacher of the instrument she is interested in to assess if she can be taught to play it considering her age, size and aptitude.
Finally, do not fall into the trap of stereotyping. There is no rule that says every child must start with the piano or violin, or if a particular instrument is more suited for a boy or girl.
Anna sometimes gets tired of defending the fact that it is all right for a girl to learn the drums at age four-plus. Her parenting articles here are compiled in http://youmekids.blogspot.com.
theSun, Tues 3 Mar 2009
MUSIC education is a wonderful gift to give your child. Not only does music help a child in developing her creativity and ability to express, it also helps develop confidence and cognitive skills for better performance in math and science.
When choosing an instrument for your child, be aware that it should be an instrument of his or her choice and not yours.
Be conscious of the reasons behind the choice of instrument. Did you choose it because you personally like how it sounds, or would have liked to play it but did not get the opportunity to when you were young, for instance?
While you may influence her a little, it should ultimately be one that she likes because after all, she will be the one learning and practising on it. A child would be more interested and committed to learning and practising an instrument that she is excited about.
Before deciding on one, show her the different types of instruments from the main categories of strings, brass, percussion and wind so that she can see and know what they look and sound like.
We are all drawn to how an instrument sounds and how it is played and so are children. Listen to music played by orchestras, bands and solo instruments, be it from CDs or at live performances. Discuss with her what you saw and heard, and how the instruments were played in different styles and pieces.
Consider her physical attributes, as some instruments may not be physically compatible. A petite child may not be able to carry a large cello case by herself, let alone play the instrument.
Some wind instruments require suitable lip structure or facial strength to play while others can only be properly played if you have adult teeth. Other instruments may require larger hands and more developed motor skills or dexterity.
Consider your budget for buying the instrument and paying for lessons. If you are not sure your child is committed, consider borrowing or renting first.
When buying, consider one of average quality that serves the purpose rather than splurge on a top-of-the-line or concert model. You can always upgrade later when your child shows more commitment and has made progress.
Playing a musical instrument should be fun and pleasurable. Find out what kind of music interests your child and if she prefers to play alone or in a group like a band or orchestra.
It is no use forcing her to learn the violin and play classical pieces when she enjoys making rocking rhythm on the drums more.
If you can, get a professional or a teacher of the instrument she is interested in to assess if she can be taught to play it considering her age, size and aptitude.
Finally, do not fall into the trap of stereotyping. There is no rule that says every child must start with the piano or violin, or if a particular instrument is more suited for a boy or girl.
Anna sometimes gets tired of defending the fact that it is all right for a girl to learn the drums at age four-plus. Her parenting articles here are compiled in http://youmekids.blogspot.com.
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