Instead of punishing the child who likes to bite others, try to find out what drives the child to do it
theSun, Tues, 28 Sept 2010
Your toddler returns from nursery school one day with a bite mark. Your first thought as a protective mother is to find out which brat did that to your precious one and probably give that child a taste of his or her own medicine.
Many of us parents have surely encountered such an experience, either with our child being the victim or more embarrassingly, the biter.
Biting the culprit back, according to experts, is definitely not the remedy.
We should never allow our child to seek revenge because if we do, it tells them that biting or violence is an acceptable way to resolve problems.
What is paramount is to learn why children bite.
You must understand that it is natural for children to do so. When they start teething, they bite to find relief from the discomfort of swelling and tender gums.
They will sink their teeth into anything from toys, the spoon they are eating from, or your finger.
Nursing mothers will share their painful tales too as the young ones are unable to differentiate between biting an object or a person.
Children love to explore. They do it by smelling, touching, hearing and tasting. Biting is another way. They are discovering cause and effect.
They sometimes bite to find out what will happen, and are not aware that it hurts someone when they bite them.
Some children bite to gain attention and get what they want. When they tussle for a toy, one child might bite the other to gain power over the toy, or to chase the other child away.
Children learn by imitating. They see others biting and may want to try it out. When they get bitten and lose the tussle for the toy they want, they might just bite back in self-defence, or use this tactic the next time they get into a similar situation.
Parents and caregivers need to respond calmly but quickly when a child bites another. Comfort the victim and attend to the wound. Then be firm with the biter, telling him sternly that she/he must not bite and that it hurts the other child.
Separate them and give them different activities to do.
If they are fighting over a toy, you may want to distract one of them with another interesting toy or activity if they are still too young to understand the concept of sharing.
When they have learnt to share, remember to praise them specifically for their behaviour. Children love to be praised and will be encouraged to continue practising the good habit when you tell them how proud you are of them.
As they have yet to develop the skills to fully express their feelings and needs, children sometimes resort to biting, hitting, kicking or pushing to express their anger and frustration.
Encourage them to use words to express their feelings. Talk to them and help them use the correct words. Tell them firmly that it is wrong to bite and teach them to say: "I’m angry, I want that toy" or to go to you or their caregiver immediately when they get into such situations.
This could minimise the chances of them biting out of frustration, anger or in self-defence.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
More than child's play
Playing dress-up will sharpen children’s creativity as well as their imagination
theSun, Tue, 14 Sep 2010
CHILDREN, both girls and boys alike, aged four or five enjoy trying on clothes and accessories. They simply love to experiment with how they look.
Girls may try out a dozen hair clips or necklaces and mummy’s high heels, while boys will want to dress up like daddy by trying on ties, and requesting for fancy jeans, belts or shoes.
At that age, they grow more conscious of their appearance and would want to choose their own clothes. With your guidance, they learn how to make decisions.
As long as your daughter is dressing up appropriately for the occasion or weather, just give in at times if she decides to wear orange socks with her pink polka-dot dress, for example.
According to Dr Dorothy Einon, author of Creative Play for 2-5s, around this age, "your child now moves more like a little adult than a baby, and being a little adult also characterises many of her other skills and attributes. She now has a great deal more in common with herself at 16 years than herself at 16 months."
In her book, the writer recommends playing dress-up for children at this age. Playing dress-up is an activity that allows your child to have fun while developing their creativity and imagination.
Leave them to their own devices and you’ll be amazed at the characters they come up with. You will see how clever they are at improvising with things to make the props or costumes they need.
Start a collection of dress-up clothes like old scarves, shawls, hats, cloaks, jewellery, bags, sunglasses, hair clips, etc.
Also include props like a toy mobile phone, briefcase, apron, utensils, fireman’s helmet, stethoscope, wand, sword, eye patch - anything that helps them create a character they can dress up as.
Make these easily accessible by keeping them in a special box or drawer.
Besides sparking their creativity and imagination, the act of putting on and taking off clothes, buckling up, fastening or unfastening buttons gives them fine motor skill practice.
Playing dress-up also helps them overcome fears and learn new things. Playing doctor, nurse or dentist could help your child not be afraid of going to the clinic, taking shots or medicine. Playing teacher could reassure your child that going to preschool is fun, while playing engineer or mechanic could teach your child how a car works.
When children play together, they learn to share not only props but ideas. They develop interpersonal skills and learn to be tolerant, to share and cooperate.
They practise communication and negotiation skills when they choose costumes, decide on the pretend-play scenario and storyline they want, and who plays the villain or hero, for instance. They learn to be expressive and improve their vocabulary.
By playing ‘good’ and ‘bad’ roles, they learn the difference between right and wrong. They learn to how to amuse themselves and see their role in the family. They become clearer about their gender identity and understand differences between men and women.
They also learn about the world around them and understand the many different roles and responsibilities people have. They will grow up with self-confidence.
theSun, Tue, 14 Sep 2010
CHILDREN, both girls and boys alike, aged four or five enjoy trying on clothes and accessories. They simply love to experiment with how they look.
Girls may try out a dozen hair clips or necklaces and mummy’s high heels, while boys will want to dress up like daddy by trying on ties, and requesting for fancy jeans, belts or shoes.
At that age, they grow more conscious of their appearance and would want to choose their own clothes. With your guidance, they learn how to make decisions.
As long as your daughter is dressing up appropriately for the occasion or weather, just give in at times if she decides to wear orange socks with her pink polka-dot dress, for example.
According to Dr Dorothy Einon, author of Creative Play for 2-5s, around this age, "your child now moves more like a little adult than a baby, and being a little adult also characterises many of her other skills and attributes. She now has a great deal more in common with herself at 16 years than herself at 16 months."
In her book, the writer recommends playing dress-up for children at this age. Playing dress-up is an activity that allows your child to have fun while developing their creativity and imagination.
Leave them to their own devices and you’ll be amazed at the characters they come up with. You will see how clever they are at improvising with things to make the props or costumes they need.
Start a collection of dress-up clothes like old scarves, shawls, hats, cloaks, jewellery, bags, sunglasses, hair clips, etc.
Also include props like a toy mobile phone, briefcase, apron, utensils, fireman’s helmet, stethoscope, wand, sword, eye patch - anything that helps them create a character they can dress up as.
Make these easily accessible by keeping them in a special box or drawer.
Besides sparking their creativity and imagination, the act of putting on and taking off clothes, buckling up, fastening or unfastening buttons gives them fine motor skill practice.
Playing dress-up also helps them overcome fears and learn new things. Playing doctor, nurse or dentist could help your child not be afraid of going to the clinic, taking shots or medicine. Playing teacher could reassure your child that going to preschool is fun, while playing engineer or mechanic could teach your child how a car works.
When children play together, they learn to share not only props but ideas. They develop interpersonal skills and learn to be tolerant, to share and cooperate.
They practise communication and negotiation skills when they choose costumes, decide on the pretend-play scenario and storyline they want, and who plays the villain or hero, for instance. They learn to be expressive and improve their vocabulary.
By playing ‘good’ and ‘bad’ roles, they learn the difference between right and wrong. They learn to how to amuse themselves and see their role in the family. They become clearer about their gender identity and understand differences between men and women.
They also learn about the world around them and understand the many different roles and responsibilities people have. They will grow up with self-confidence.
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