theSun, Tue, 23 Jun 2009
CHILDREN nowadays have such a hectic and structured lifestyle that every activity requires scheduling. Even for them to play together, we have to make appointments or what we call ‘playdates’.
According to Wikipedia, “playdates have become the standard for children of many western cultures because the work schedules for busy parents, along with media warnings about leaving children unattended, prevent the kind of play that children of other generations participated in”.
That also rings true for us here in Malaysia.
Wikipedia also states that “playdates are a late 20th century innovation. With young children, most parents stay for a playdate and use that time to form their own friendships and parental alliances”.
During my time, our parents formed their own friendships and alliances separately from our playtime!
I have a friend of 35 years and we used to walk in and out of each other’s house freely those days. It helped that she lived two doors away.
Our daughters are friends too now, but we have to make appointments for them to play together, and for us to meet up at the same time.
While during our time we were left to our own devices to cook instant noodles outdoors with matches and sticks, we now consciously plan, monitor and lead them through activities like baking or craftwork.
What else do we consciously do this 21st century to ensure what we think is a “successful” playdate?
We ask our child which friends she wants to play with. If she does not indicate her choice, we would suggest friends we think she likes, like those from school, family friends and relatives.
The playmates may or may not be of the same age as there could be some advantages to this arrangement. Older children tend to play “big sister or brother” to the younger ones, helping them and showing good examples.
Make sure you check with the child’s parents about food preferences or allergies to ensure snack or meal times go without a hitch.
Playdates are meant for children to develop their social skills and minimise anti-social activities like watching TV, or playing computer games.
Ensure that your child knows that her friends are her guests and she should make them feel welcome and share her toys with them.
If she has a favourite toy you think she may not want to share, put it away before the guest arrives. If a squabble breaks out, let them resolve it themselves unless it escalates to heated confrontation.
Explain to them why they should not fight verbally or physically. Help them compromise or introduce a new activity.
Near the end of the playdate, remind them of the time to avoid a tearful goodbye if they had a good time together and refuse to part.
If you foresee that happening, end the playdate outside the house. Drive your guest home or meet the child’s parents at a playground or somewhere else to spare them the agony of dragging their screaming child out of your house.
If the child made anything like drawings or cookies, let her take it home. She would be excited to show her creation to her parents and ease the goodbye process.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Stay-at-home holiday
theSun, Tue, 9 June 2009
IT’S the school holidays right now for Malaysian schools and most parents are wondering what to do with their children.
Going on a trip out of town is usually an option but with the current influenza A(H1N1) scare, we may want to avoid overseas travel.
And if you are a last-minute planner like me, or are unable to get time off from work, finding ideas to keep the children occupied and out of mischief at home seems like the only thing left to do.
This is the time when you need to be resourceful. You may not be making sand castles with them at a beach resort or going on a safari in the African plains but you can still have fun right at home or in your neighbourhood.
The key to this is letting your imagination run wild and making some simple preparations beforehand.
Think of activities and games that you had fun with when you were a child and re-live them with your children.
Children nowadays are into computer games, Nintendos and gameboys but back in my day, we played ‘five stones’, hopscotch and board games.
Dust off the old Monopoly set for some family fun or teach them how to make a kite from scratch.
Do something that you had always wanted to do when you were a child but didn’t get a chance to, like spend a night out camping in your garden with a small campfire barbecue dinner.
Here is a list of activities I have thought of that we could do with our children at home, or without having to travel far.
» Stock up on new jigsaw puzzles, activity books, storybooks before the holidays so that they come in handy when the children are bored.
» Check your local newspaper for activities around town that cater to schoolchildren. Some malls, museums, galleries, science centre or parks have special programmes lined up in conjunction with the school holidays. And they could even be free of charge.
» Have a breakfast or tea picnic in your backyard or garden on a cool morning or evening.
Get them to help prepare simple yet healthy homemade food such as sandwiches, pizza, burgers, drinks, salad, fresh fruits and pack them all in a cooler or picnic basket.
Find the perfect spot in yourgarden, spread the food out on a mat and start your picnic party.
» Bring the children along when you run errands or do grocery shopping so that they can learn about things at the bank or post office as well as make healthy choices for food, cooking, and how to manage money.
» Start them on a new hobby, sport or craft such as making scrapbooks, learning to ride a bike, play chess, cross stitch, swimming or gardening for example.
» Give them a notebook or journal. Encourage them to write stories or document their daily life.
This way, they can improve their communication skills, handwriting, creative thinking and writing skills.
They can also add colour and illustrations by drawing, colouring or sketching inside their books.
» Last but not least, the school holiday is a good time to create awareness among children about the underprivileged in society.
Visit homes for children, old folk or the disabled with your children, join their fundraisers and projects or offer your services – and your children’s – as a volunteer.
This way, they will learn to appreciate what they have a little bit more.
IT’S the school holidays right now for Malaysian schools and most parents are wondering what to do with their children.
Going on a trip out of town is usually an option but with the current influenza A(H1N1) scare, we may want to avoid overseas travel.
And if you are a last-minute planner like me, or are unable to get time off from work, finding ideas to keep the children occupied and out of mischief at home seems like the only thing left to do.
This is the time when you need to be resourceful. You may not be making sand castles with them at a beach resort or going on a safari in the African plains but you can still have fun right at home or in your neighbourhood.
The key to this is letting your imagination run wild and making some simple preparations beforehand.
Think of activities and games that you had fun with when you were a child and re-live them with your children.
Children nowadays are into computer games, Nintendos and gameboys but back in my day, we played ‘five stones’, hopscotch and board games.
Dust off the old Monopoly set for some family fun or teach them how to make a kite from scratch.
Do something that you had always wanted to do when you were a child but didn’t get a chance to, like spend a night out camping in your garden with a small campfire barbecue dinner.
Here is a list of activities I have thought of that we could do with our children at home, or without having to travel far.
» Stock up on new jigsaw puzzles, activity books, storybooks before the holidays so that they come in handy when the children are bored.
» Check your local newspaper for activities around town that cater to schoolchildren. Some malls, museums, galleries, science centre or parks have special programmes lined up in conjunction with the school holidays. And they could even be free of charge.
» Have a breakfast or tea picnic in your backyard or garden on a cool morning or evening.
Get them to help prepare simple yet healthy homemade food such as sandwiches, pizza, burgers, drinks, salad, fresh fruits and pack them all in a cooler or picnic basket.
Find the perfect spot in yourgarden, spread the food out on a mat and start your picnic party.
» Bring the children along when you run errands or do grocery shopping so that they can learn about things at the bank or post office as well as make healthy choices for food, cooking, and how to manage money.
» Start them on a new hobby, sport or craft such as making scrapbooks, learning to ride a bike, play chess, cross stitch, swimming or gardening for example.
» Give them a notebook or journal. Encourage them to write stories or document their daily life.
This way, they can improve their communication skills, handwriting, creative thinking and writing skills.
They can also add colour and illustrations by drawing, colouring or sketching inside their books.
» Last but not least, the school holiday is a good time to create awareness among children about the underprivileged in society.
Visit homes for children, old folk or the disabled with your children, join their fundraisers and projects or offer your services – and your children’s – as a volunteer.
This way, they will learn to appreciate what they have a little bit more.
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