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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Exam Fever

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It’s the time of the year when children are tested and parents are stressed
theSun, Tue, 25 May 2010

MOST Malaysian school-going children have probably already sat for their mid-year examinations or are about to do so.

Parents, especially those with younger children, sometimes feel as if they are the ones taking the exams, and not their children.

They tend to get anxious, worried and stressed out if they feel their children are not prepared enough to face the exam.

A large part of our lives as responsible and loving parents involves spending as much time as we can with our children. The security of a loving and stable family and home provides our children with a conducive environment for learning.

When you have a good relationship with your child, he will be more receptive when you tell him about the importance of doing consistent revision in order to be better prepared for exams. He will also share his problems with you more freely and seek your help.

Sit with him and help him as he studies. The study area should be free from distractions such as the computer, television or toys.

Develop a routine for study time, and help him draw up a timetable. Make a list of all the subjects and topics that need to be covered to ensure that he studies everything, and not only his favourites.

Provide adequate breaks in between to allow him to rest. Younger children may have a shorter attention span and will not be able to sit down too long to study.

Short breaks will enable them to release their pent-up energy and they will be more willing to continue studying afterwards.

Make your child practise answering questions. Provide him with worksheets or sample exam questions to do. While it is important for your child to remember what he has learnt, he must also know how to use the information to answer the exam questions within the time allocated.

How we feel and act impact our child. If our stress and anxiety rub off on him, he may end up becoming nervous or overwhelmed.

Try not to upset him, and keep him cheerful so that he will face his exam in good spirits.

Also, make sure he eats healthily and gets enough sleep.

In order to help our children prepare for an exam, we need to have a healthy view of exams ourselves.

Exams are just a way of measuring how much a child has learnt and if he is able to apply the knowledge.

We must remember that all children are wired differently. Therefore, we should not compare our children with their classmates or relatives and neighbours.

Praise his effort. If he had done his best, do not blame or punish him if he does not do well. Help him understand that the results do not define who he is. They are just an assessment tool.

Review the mistakes he has made, and encourage him to learn from them.

Finally, we must remember that we are not the ones taking the exam. We cannot "study" on behalf of our children.

They need to cultivate the desire to do well. They need to learn to face the consequences if they choose not to work hard.

They need to learn to be responsible for themselves and the fact that to succeed, they must work hard.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Kinder in the garden

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theSun, Tue, 11 May 2010

MY RECENT interest in gardening got me pondering about getting children involved in this activity and how it can benefit them.
I recollected the small nursery in my primary school, which was maintained by the school gardener. As an extension to our classroom learning, my teacher encouraged us to bring some seeds to plant in the nursery. While I was not successful with my seeds, I recall sharing my classmate’s excitement when her seeds germinated.

Gardening can be an activity for children to experience what they are learning in theory. Nothing beats experiential learning with some fun thrown in for the child. There is a myriad of topics a child can learn and experience in a plant’s lifecycle, from the germination of the seed to the growth of the various parts of the plant and their functions, on pollination and the involvement of various insects and worms, on photosynthesis, and finally, composting.

Getting children to tend to their plants and reap the fruits of their labour teaches them responsibility and builds self-confidence. Being able to cook and eat the fruits and vegetables they planted with their own hands give them a sense of achievement and pride. They can be taught healthy eating habits too.

Gardening also helps the child develop a love for nature and the environment. It is an opportunity to help them become aware and conscious of efforts to protect the environment, such as recycling, using organic or natural pesticides, and minimising air and water pollution.

From gardening, you can spin off to other interesting activities such as cooking, and art and craft projects using plants, fruits and flowers from the garden.

Children who usually dislike eating vegetables can be more open to eating those they have planted themselves, especially when you involve them in the preparation and cooking as well.

Gardening gives the child an opportunity to be creative. The seeds, flowers and leaves of various plants can be collected, dried and compiled into a scrapbook as a keepsake. They can also be used to decorate greeting cards, bookmarks and trinkets.

To help them cope with boredom while waiting for their plants to show results, you can get them to cut up potatoes, lady’s fingers and lotus roots, dip them into paint to be used as stamps to create colourful patterns.

They can also make a signboard, a scarecrow or a pinwheel to be placed in their garden plot.

Take them for a visit to a vegetable farm, especially an organic one. Teach them how to make environmental enzyme using vegetable and fruit scraps, which can be used for their plants.

It is not too difficult to start a child on gardening. Give him a small plot in your garden or provide him with a planter box or a few small pots if you live in a condominium.

Give him seeds that sprout and mature quickly. Plant vegetables that he likes to eat, and plants that flower quickly and consistently.

Plants with large and colourful flowers and fragrant herbs are good choices that will appeal to his senses too.

Once you have helped your child get started, you would probably have just found yourself a little Miss or Master Green Fingers.

Gardening could even become his favourite hobby, or a wonderful family pastime.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Comics revolution

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These books are now considered useful teaching tools for the young
theSun, Tues, 27 Apr 2010


I learnt a new word from my seven-year-old today. It is ‘tephra’.

I was talking to another adult about the current volcanic ash situation in Iceland when my daughter told us the rocks that are blown out from the volcano during the eruption are called tephra.

Knowing that she must have read it somewhere, I asked her the name of the book. It turned out to be a comic book, a science-based one, which I had bought for her some time back.

When I was young, the comics that I read were Beano and Dandy which ‘taught’ schoolroom antics and mischievous pranks.

Later in my teenage years, I read the Archie comics which gave an insight into the typical’American teenager’s life played out by Archie, Veronica, Betty, Moose, Jughead and Reggie.

Local newspapers, meanwhile, offered the likes of Bringing Up Father and Dagwood – nothing close to real educational content, let alone science.

I’m sure there were educational comics back then but they were not readily available in my part of the world. I would think the limited copies of Tintin at my school library were as close as I could get to ‘educational’ comics.

Nevertheless, comics brought excitement and played a part in developing my reading interest. Hence, I believe they do and can play a part in encouraging children to read and learn.

While I’m no expert in this case, I would think a ‘good’ comic as one that teaches and entertains. After all, learning should be fun.

However, it should be well written with good grammar and syntax, albeit simpler compared to books. It has to be also free from profanity and sexually suggestive or obscene pictures.

The storyline needs to be age appropriate as well with interesting and factual and relevant content.

And how do comics really help?

Comiclife.com lists a summary of The Key Benefits for Students Using Comics by Marilee Sarlitto, found in a 2003 article titled Creating Comics: Visual and Verbal Thinking in the Ultimate Show and Tell (Janette Combs, 2003).

The benefits include:

» giving a great visual representation of knowledge;

» presenting what is essential;

» making it easier to remember a visual graphic containing key information;

» engaging through thinking, creating and writing;

» being a perfect avenue for writing dialogue;

» inciting students with low interest in writing;

» helping organisation through storytelling and storyboarding;

» using visual images to convey meaning to a story or topic;

» developing creative and higher level thought processes;

» developing composition techniques through visual-verbal connections;

» enriching reading, writing and thinking;

» serving as an assessment and evaluation tool; and

» sequencing which promotes understanding.

In short, comics can help students to write, read, remember, understand, organise, think and be creative.

Besides reading them, students can create their own comics. A number of websites have made it easier for you to create your own comics. Some require you to purchase their software while others are free.

According to Bill Zimmerman, creator of MakeBeliefsComix.com, many of the visitors to his site have been educators who use it to teach reading, writing and the learning of English and other languages.

It certainly looks like comics are gaining acceptance as another useful teaching tool. The next time you and your child hit the newsstand or bookstore, see if you can find some interesting and educational comics for a change.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Gratifying youngsters

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Whether it is a bribe or reward, children should not be trained to expect something for being obedient

theSun, Tue, 13 Apr 2010

I HAVE been guilty of negotiating unnecessary ‘win-win’ deals with my child to avoid the stress of power struggles. I give my child a new story book to keep her quiet during dinner at a restaurant, ­although reading at the dinner table is prohibited at home. I know I’m not alone in this. Some parents would buy their children candy or chocolates to prevent them from screaming in the supermarket. Others tell their children that they can have their dream toy if they do as they are told.

What is the difference between bribing and rewarding a child? The online Merriam-Webster ­dictionary defines bribery as “money or favour given or promised in ­order to ­influence the judgment or ­conduct...; something that serves to induce or influence”. Meanwhile, a reward, according to the same dictionary, is “something that is given in return for good done or received, or that is offered or given for some service or attainment”.

Based on these general definitions, we can say that ­giving ­something to a child prior to good behaviour is a bribe. It is to ­influence them into doing ­something we want them to do. Meanwhile, ­giving them something in return for being obedient can be defined as a reward. This is to reinforce the idea that good behaviour results in good consequences.

Be it a bribe or reward, we need to be mindful of a few things whenever we are tempted to offer our child some goodies in order for him to behave or do our bidding.

» Do not let this practice ­become a habit. If you reward your child for every little thing he does, it will soon become an expectation. He will expect to be rewarded for just washing his hands, for example. He may start demanding for a present every time you tell him to do something.

While there are times we can give a child something for a job well done, we should not allow him to think that he has a choice or can negotiate. There must be times when we need to be firm and
remind ourselves that we have the right to ask them to do certain things, and expect them to do it simply because we said so.

» Do not shoot from the hip and offer rewards freely. The child will comply to a request from the parent simply because he wants the specific reward. The moment the reward stops, the good behaviour will also stop.

» Do not offer food as a bribe or reward. For example, giving a child ice cream, sweets or ­cookies to make him pick up his toys will not teach him responsibility, and will create an unhealthy ­association with such foods. Teach your child about eating healthily and do not use junk food as rewards or ­incentives.

Rewards need not always be in the form of material things. Sincere praise, a hug and telling him you are proud of what he has done could help boost a child’s sense of self worth. Praise him when you observe good behaviour and when he does things on his own accord. It will encourage him to continue with the same behaviour in future.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Comfort sucks

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Experts advise that children should be weaned off the pacifier from age two onwards
theSun, 30 Mar 2010


There are children whose ‘best friends’ are their pacifier. They go everywhere with it and only the pacifier can soothe and calm them in times of distress. They need it when they go to bed and for some, to remain asleep.

While the pacifier is not an entirely a bad thing to give your child, it would be a great challenge to wean him off it once he becomes too attached to it.

As the child’s natural instinct is to suck on something for comfort, the pacifier comes in handy as opposed to sucking their fingers, thumb, or the corner of a pillow or blanket.

Experts advise that the use of a pacifier should be discontinued after the child turns one.

At that age, his developmental needs do not include sucking, and by age two, he would have developed "higher level strategies" to manage his distress.

Dentists advise that pacifier use be discontinued after age two as it could affect the alignment and bite of the child’s teeth.

There are many ways to wean your child off the pacifier. The cold turkey approach could seem harsh while the gradual approach works on reducing pacifier use until a time when you can tell your child that it is ‘lost’ or ‘given away’.

Here are some suggestions I have compiled from several parenting websites, forums and other souces:

» Strictly bed time
During stress-free times such as when the child is at play, do not allow him to suck on it. Freeing him from the pacifier will also give him more opportunity to develop his speech.

Leave his pacifier in his cot and tell him it ‘lives’ there and nowhere else so that he uses it only when he is in bed. Do not allow him to use it when he takes naps during the day.

Gradually, limit its use to alternate nights, then stop giving it to him altogether.

» Cut off its end
Once they discover that it feels different, or when you tell them it does not work anymore, they may decide not to use it.

» Discard on special day
Choose a day such as his birthday and prepare him with the idea that he will stop using the pacifier from that day onwards.

Or tell him that his pacifier will not work any more after his third birthday. Then cut the pacifier.

Or when a special occasion such as Christmas approaches, tell him that if he gives his pacifier to other babies who need it, he will get a special toy for Christmas.

» Stop when he is sick
When your child comes down with a stuffy nose or cough, he will feel discomfort or will not be able to breathe if he sucks on the pacifier.

Take this opportunity to take his pacifier away from him.

After he recovers, you may tell him that the pacifier is ‘lost’. Distract him with some toys, books or other activities so that he will forget about the pacifier.

Whatever method you choose, it will take a lot of patience and strength not to give in when the child cries a few nights in a row because he cannot go to sleep without his pacifier.

If you give in, it will get harder and harder to wean him off the pacifier.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Teething blues

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Take the bite out of this painful phase for both baby and parents theSun, Tues, 9 Mar 2010


Most babies start teething when they are about four months old. The first teeth that sprout are the lower incisors, the ones in the middle. The corresponding upper two incisors will then follow.
The last ones that sprout are the molars and, by the time they are two or three years old, they would have received their full set of 20 primary or milk teeth.

This teething period could be a trying time for the child and parents, especially the first-timers. Some children may go through their teething phase with little fuss, while others may experience pain, become irritable, refuse to eat and have problems sleeping.

When my child started teething, she began to drool a lot and liked to bite anything she could get her gums on, like her toys and our fingers!

Wipe your child’s mouth with a soft face towel to prevent the drool from causing rashes. Provide him/her with teething rings to play with and bite. The pressure on the gums when they bite will help alleviate the pain.

You can also feed your child some cold pureed food or yoghurt, and rub the gums gently with your clean fingers.

According to childcare books and articles, it is advisable not to prescribe any form of painkillers or oral numbing gel unless you have checked with your paediatrician first.

Some children may have loose stool, a mild fever or even diarrhoea when they are teething. These symptoms, however, may or may not be directly linked to teething. The jury is still out on this one.

In popular parenting website BabyCenter.com, paediatrician and author of The Baby Book William Sears said: "Teething can cause diarrhoea and a mild diaper rash because your baby’s excessive saliva ends up in his gut and loosens his stools. Inflammation in the gums may cause a low fever."

In the same website, paediatrician T. Berry Brazelton, said such symptoms are probably due to an infection unrelated to teething, but that the stress associated with teething could make your child more vulnerable to infection right before a new tooth appears.

It would be best to let your paediatrician take a look at your child if such symptoms persist and if your child’s temperature exceeds 38°C.

As far as caring for your child’s gums and teeth is concerned, just keep them clean by wiping them with a soft, wet cloth. Get a soft brush with which you can clean your child’s teeth with some water.

You can also use infant toothpaste that does not contain fluoride, making it safe for babies in the event they swallow it. Toothpaste with fluoride should only be used for older children who know how to spit. Use only a pea-sized amount of toothpaste.

If possible, establish a routine for the cleaning of your child’s teeth and gums. This will help the child develop good dental habits as he/she grows up. Include brushing and flossing in your bedtime routine.

Avoid giving milk or sugary liquids after cleaning. Bacteria that exist naturally in the mouth will react with the sugars, forming an acid that causes decay.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Control the TV remote

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Monitor children’s television viewing by setting a timetable and filtering violent shows
theSun, Tue, 23 Feb 2010


We know that too much television take toddlers away from exploring, playing and interacting with their caregivers – activities which are important for their physical and social development.
School-age children will also lack exercise and have less time for reading, homework, playing with friends and interacting with others.

However, watching television is not entirely bad for children as long as there is a limit to the time spent watching and the type of shows they watch. In this day and age, it is hard to prevent our children from exposure to the television and other media such as computers and the Internet, unless you ban these items from your home.

Even if you go to such extremes, they are bound to find them at their friends’ homes, and at school, as television and computers are considered necessities these days. It is therefore important for parents to monitor the content and set viewing limits.

Here are some tips to help keep your child’s TV viewing in check:

» The TV is not a babysitter

More often than not, despite knowing the consequences, we conveniently use the television to occupy our children while we work on other things at home. The American Academy of Paediatrics (AAP) recommends that children under two years old do not watch any TV at all and that older ones watch no more than one to two hours a day of quality programmes.

» Check the content of the programmes

Preview them if possible. Young children can be easily influenced by what they watch and learn.

Certain so-called role model characters in shows may depict bad or risky behaviour such as smoking, drinking, use of foul language, and violence.

Also, educate your child on junk food and toy advertisements. Help them realise that the advertisers are merely trying to get people to buy their products and that no matter how appealing and convincing some of them sound, they are not as good as they seem.

Make sure your child does not watch scary or violent shows that may cause nightmares or emotional disturbances.

» No TV in your child’s bedroom

This prevents your child from being holed up in his room, and not participating in family activities. It also discourages him from studying, doing his homework or keeping to his bedtime schedule.

» No TV during mealtimes

Adults sometimes tend to eat and watch TV at the same time. We need to change this habit and set a good example to our children. (The same goes for reading the newspaper or a book during mealtimes.)

Mealtimes can be used as family time together to catch up on one another’s day, share stories, problems and ask questions.

» Watch TV together

Select family shows or educational programmes that teach good lessons and family values. TV viewing can be a ‘date’ you set with your family members as family time together. This allows you to keep the content viewed in check and provides opportunities to discuss what you are watching.

While these tips may sound easy to follow, the reality is that they can be rather challenging, just like any other issue on parenting.

You as parents need to keep reminding yourself that the rewards are worth the effort. The earlier you start, the easier it will be to shape our children’s TV viewing habits.