Sen & sensibility

Teach your children about the value of money now and they won’t pay the price later in life
theSun, Tue, 17 Feb 2009

MY daughter is at the age where she expresses her desires very boldly and, mind you, it is a long wish-list of toys, pets and stuff that children her age are attracted to. Her friends and cousins have the funkiest toys and she wants them too, she says.
We all want to give our children the best, but where is the line between nurturing and spoiling them?

We need to understand that, first, children want to be part of their peer group. When they get together, they will chatter excitedly about the latest Pokémon cartoon or play their latest Nintendo game.

If your child has not seen the latest Pokémon DVD or does not own a Nintendo, she/he would feel left out and on the sidelines, listening silently or watching others play.

Parents who object to certain children’s toys or entertainment, and those who have only a limited budget, would find themselves in a bind when their children start comparing themselves with their peers.

We need to help our children understand that money does not grow on trees as is popularly said. But how do we teach and remind them about the value of money?

My daughter’s initial idea about money was that it comes from mummy’s purse, daddy’s wallet or the bank.

We explained that we need to work hard to earn it before it gets into the bank or wallet, and the amount is limited so we cannot buy anything and everything we want.

Help your child to be aware of the difference between a ‘need’ and a ‘want’.

Pre-school and primary school children are normally inclined towards noble ideas and practices.

For example, my daughter learnt in school that food must not be wasted as there are others who do not have enough to eat. She is now able to raise the point when she notices food being wasted.

Likewise, encourage them to think and discuss why the latest toys or branded clothes are so important to them. What is it about those things that is so good in their eyes?

Help them think about how other children from less fortunate families would feel without them. Share with them that it is not what they have or wear but who they are that is important.

Draw parallels between the cost of essential items the family needs and the things she wants to buy. She might then realise how much those ‘funky toys’ actually cost.

When shopping with my daughter, I sometimes show her the price tags and help her make comparisons between toys.

She knows her numbers well enough to be able to tell that the one with the two-digit price tag costs less than the three-digit one.

I helped her set up three coin boxes labelled "Spend", "Save" and "Give". She ‘earns’ her coins on completing certain tasks and when she behaves.

She then has to divide her coins equally and knows that she can only buy things she wants using money from "Spend" while "Save" is for keeps and "Give" is for helping the less fortunate.

She has been very eager in using the money from "Spend". However, she recently learnt that it takes time and effort to get what she wants when she picked an expensive toy which her "Spend" money could not match.

Another way to help children understand money better is to be an example to them.

As we all know, children learn by copying adults. If we simply buy designer labels because we ‘want’ and not ‘need’, what values are we modelling for our children?

What about trying to keep up with the Joneses by throwing lavish birthday parties or going on luxurious overseas holidays?

Explain to your child why you cannot always copy others and be creative in making the party or holiday fun and enjoyable while keeping costs down.

Help her see that the money saved can be used to buy other things, or given to charity.