Goodbye to nightmares

theSun, Tue, 02 Feb 2010

I WOKE UP one night to find my child tugging my foot, ­asking if she could sleep with me. She had a nightmare about human-eating monsters.

Children around five to eight years of age often have nightmares.

According to WebMD, nightmares are most common in ­preschoolers because “this is the age at which normal fears develop and a child’s ­imagination is very active.

“Some studies estimate that as many as 50% of children aged three to six years have nightmares that disturb both their sleep and their parents’ sleep.”

Nightmares are different from night terrors.

Night terrors are ­characterised by frequent recurrent episodes of intense crying and fear when the child is asleep and ­usually, it is difficult to wake the child up.

The child remains asleep throughout, but seems agitated and difficult to calm down. Usually, the child will not ­remember the episode when he wakes up the next ­morning.

A nightmare is a bad dream that causes the child to wake up crying or feeling afraid and often, has difficulty going back to sleep.

Nightmares can be caused by stressful events such as moving to a new school, or even family problems. They can also be caused by a stressful situation during the day, lack of sleep, traumatic experiences or watching an upsetting scene on television.

Popular parenting website BabyCenter says that for a child working through her feelings about these ­stressful events, nightmares are a ­normal response, and you are not a bad parent if your child has them.

So what did I do when my child requested to sleep with me? Naturally, I didn’t give much thought to it, drowsy as I was. I welcomed her and we snuggled up until morning.

What do the experts ­recommend? Babycenter says to go to your child when she cries out. Reassure her with a backrub or hug.

And here’s the no-no: if you bring her into your bed to comfort her, be aware you could be creating a habit that’s hard to reverse.

So the next time my foot gets tugged at, I hope I will have the presence of mind to take my child back to her own bed.

Don’t pressure your child into giving you the details of the bad dream. Just remind and comfort him that it was only a bad dream.

Other ways to help your child tackle nightmares ­include coming up with a “happy ending” for their nightmare story the next day. This helps him take control of the scary situation.

Have a bedtime routine that is calming and quiet with some warm milk, a warm bath, and a nice story. If a bedtime prayer is part of the routine, there is no harm in asking for sweet dreams.

A few ideas I found ­interesting from Babycenter include letting the child rub a little skin lotion – call it “good dream cream” – on the tummy or forehead before turning in.

Or fill a spray bottle with vanilla-scented water. Let your child banish scary dreams by ­spraying a little of the “nightmare repellent” in the bedroom.

Then wrap it all up with loving words, a hug and a goodnight kiss.