Be the right role model

theSun, Tue, 06 May 2008
Setting examples for the little ones requires parents to sometimes be politically correct in their speech and action

THE phrase ‘leadership by example’ rings no truer for parents. We are our children’s role models. So much has been said and written by experts about this, it has probably sunk in pretty well. And for some of us, it probably sunk so deep that we could have forgotten about it! We tend to get caught up with the pace of modern-day life, running faster to win the rat race, scurrying ourselves and our children from one activity to another.

In this extremely competitive world which shouts so much about abilities, achievements and success, we cannot help but pay more attention to our outward appearance, giving heed to fashion and brands to project a good first impression. Mummy and daddy could look really good and presentable on the outside but what about the ‘inside’? Are we beautiful on the inside too, for ourselves and more importantly for our children, whom we are role models to?

What good is a person who looks like Miss Universe but pours out words portraying conceit, pride, and self-centredness? This brings to mind a stranger I came across one day at a mall. She was a well-dressed woman I happened to stand behind, coming down an escalator. She had with her a young child, presumably her own. Further down, another lady was struggling with her fully-laden supermarket trolley to get off upon reaching the end.

Before I continue about this well-dressed lady, I am sure you would agree with me that the other woman with the trolley is probably oblivious to the fact that she is endangering herself and others. Who in their right mind would take a trolley full of groceries down an escalator?

The next thing I heard was, “Goodness, how stupid can she be? So stupid, so stupid! Look, she’s so stupid!” I actually did think the same, but it is one thing to think that, and another to proclaim your thoughts to the whole world aloud, and even worse, to a young child with you.

All that remained in my mind soon after was no longer a picture of a well-dressed, seemingly educated lady, but an ugly one with that sneer, whose child will probably grow up spoilt, ill-mannered, obnoxious and uncaring.
I could be exaggerating with those adjectives about the child but hey, if that woman could do it in public and with such pride, chances are she could probably be even less guarded at home with her child or children.

If we wish to nurture our young children to become decent, respectable teenagers and adults, we need to keep our words and actions in check. I have been guilty myself of not doing so and have seen how easily my five-year-old copies what I had said or done. Children see and children do.

When do we actually pause to take stock of things in the midst of racing through life? What do we teach or show our children when we are with them? How do we portray ourselves to them? I believe we need to ask ourselves these questions more often.
And conduct occasional soul-searching to bringing ourselves back to reality and down to earth. After all, we are humans and we do have our own shortcomings. But as parents, we must always attempt to be as perfect as we can in the eyes of our children.