It’s still a constant struggle to balance career and family even if the office is in the house
theSun, Tue, 12 Oct 2010
ONE OF the challenges a work-at-home-mother (WAHM) faces is balancing work and family. We want to do well in our work, yet we must fulfil our responsibilities to our family. After all, our children are the main reason we left the rat race to work from home.
While we all have our good and bad days, we tell ourselves that it is a good, or for some, the best, decision we’ve made in our lives.
That, however, doesn’t remove the fact that it’s a constant struggle to spend our time effectively to achieve all we set out to do.
When organising our time to care for our children as a WAHM, we need to be realistic. Bringing up children without having to work is already a huge task in itself. Once you throw in a work-from-home job, tell yourself that there’s no such thing as perfection all the time.
The picture of a neat and tidy home with a woman sitting in front of her computer working calmly, while her children are quietly doing their homework is usually just that – a picture. That seldom happens in reality, so don’t tear your hair out to make that happen.
Don’t expect to be able to keep your house in tip-top condition, especially when you do not have hired help who can dust and tidy for you all day long.
You can however enlist your children to help. Give them age-appropriate chores. They need to learn to be responsible for their own room, books and toys.
Cultivate the spirit of teamwork within the family.
With cooking, don’t try to be the Iron Chef. Opt for nutritious yet convenient recipes. Use your steamer, crockpot and helpful utensils that reduce cooking and preparation time such as a food processor or pressure cooker.
Cook in bulk and freeze, and plan ahead your menu and grocery shopping for the week. Make a list to avoid wasting time and money having to make a last-minute dash to get a bunch of stuff.
Know your priorities and if your work has reached your eyeballs, it’s time to slow down. Re-schedule, re-prioritise or take on fewer assignments if possible.
Find out the best time of day when you can work uninterrupted – in the mornings when everyone is at work and school, at night when they are asleep, or when they are napping or watching television during the day.
Take time off for yourself, even if it is just for half an hour. Better yet, schedule ‘me’ time once a week where you can get out of the house and do as you please.
You may need to learn to let go and trust others to man the fort at home. You need to have the support of your spouse or learn to be ‘thick-skinned’ enough to ask others for help in babysitting.
When you are working, be disciplined. Avoid distractions and procrastination by making a to-do list. Stay focused, work on one thing at a time.
Sometimes you may make more mistakes when you overdo it with multitasking.
Having shared all these, I must admit that I have not been the most exemplary WAHM when it comes to following my own tips.
I am human after all, and if you are in the same boat, remember that it is the means, and not the end that matters all the time.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Taking the biting out
Instead of punishing the child who likes to bite others, try to find out what drives the child to do it
theSun, Tues, 28 Sept 2010
Your toddler returns from nursery school one day with a bite mark. Your first thought as a protective mother is to find out which brat did that to your precious one and probably give that child a taste of his or her own medicine.
Many of us parents have surely encountered such an experience, either with our child being the victim or more embarrassingly, the biter.
Biting the culprit back, according to experts, is definitely not the remedy.
We should never allow our child to seek revenge because if we do, it tells them that biting or violence is an acceptable way to resolve problems.
What is paramount is to learn why children bite.
You must understand that it is natural for children to do so. When they start teething, they bite to find relief from the discomfort of swelling and tender gums.
They will sink their teeth into anything from toys, the spoon they are eating from, or your finger.
Nursing mothers will share their painful tales too as the young ones are unable to differentiate between biting an object or a person.
Children love to explore. They do it by smelling, touching, hearing and tasting. Biting is another way. They are discovering cause and effect.
They sometimes bite to find out what will happen, and are not aware that it hurts someone when they bite them.
Some children bite to gain attention and get what they want. When they tussle for a toy, one child might bite the other to gain power over the toy, or to chase the other child away.
Children learn by imitating. They see others biting and may want to try it out. When they get bitten and lose the tussle for the toy they want, they might just bite back in self-defence, or use this tactic the next time they get into a similar situation.
Parents and caregivers need to respond calmly but quickly when a child bites another. Comfort the victim and attend to the wound. Then be firm with the biter, telling him sternly that she/he must not bite and that it hurts the other child.
Separate them and give them different activities to do.
If they are fighting over a toy, you may want to distract one of them with another interesting toy or activity if they are still too young to understand the concept of sharing.
When they have learnt to share, remember to praise them specifically for their behaviour. Children love to be praised and will be encouraged to continue practising the good habit when you tell them how proud you are of them.
As they have yet to develop the skills to fully express their feelings and needs, children sometimes resort to biting, hitting, kicking or pushing to express their anger and frustration.
Encourage them to use words to express their feelings. Talk to them and help them use the correct words. Tell them firmly that it is wrong to bite and teach them to say: "I’m angry, I want that toy" or to go to you or their caregiver immediately when they get into such situations.
This could minimise the chances of them biting out of frustration, anger or in self-defence.
theSun, Tues, 28 Sept 2010
Your toddler returns from nursery school one day with a bite mark. Your first thought as a protective mother is to find out which brat did that to your precious one and probably give that child a taste of his or her own medicine.
Many of us parents have surely encountered such an experience, either with our child being the victim or more embarrassingly, the biter.
Biting the culprit back, according to experts, is definitely not the remedy.
We should never allow our child to seek revenge because if we do, it tells them that biting or violence is an acceptable way to resolve problems.
What is paramount is to learn why children bite.
You must understand that it is natural for children to do so. When they start teething, they bite to find relief from the discomfort of swelling and tender gums.
They will sink their teeth into anything from toys, the spoon they are eating from, or your finger.
Nursing mothers will share their painful tales too as the young ones are unable to differentiate between biting an object or a person.
Children love to explore. They do it by smelling, touching, hearing and tasting. Biting is another way. They are discovering cause and effect.
They sometimes bite to find out what will happen, and are not aware that it hurts someone when they bite them.
Some children bite to gain attention and get what they want. When they tussle for a toy, one child might bite the other to gain power over the toy, or to chase the other child away.
Children learn by imitating. They see others biting and may want to try it out. When they get bitten and lose the tussle for the toy they want, they might just bite back in self-defence, or use this tactic the next time they get into a similar situation.
Parents and caregivers need to respond calmly but quickly when a child bites another. Comfort the victim and attend to the wound. Then be firm with the biter, telling him sternly that she/he must not bite and that it hurts the other child.
Separate them and give them different activities to do.
If they are fighting over a toy, you may want to distract one of them with another interesting toy or activity if they are still too young to understand the concept of sharing.
When they have learnt to share, remember to praise them specifically for their behaviour. Children love to be praised and will be encouraged to continue practising the good habit when you tell them how proud you are of them.
As they have yet to develop the skills to fully express their feelings and needs, children sometimes resort to biting, hitting, kicking or pushing to express their anger and frustration.
Encourage them to use words to express their feelings. Talk to them and help them use the correct words. Tell them firmly that it is wrong to bite and teach them to say: "I’m angry, I want that toy" or to go to you or their caregiver immediately when they get into such situations.
This could minimise the chances of them biting out of frustration, anger or in self-defence.
Friday, September 17, 2010
More than child's play
Playing dress-up will sharpen children’s creativity as well as their imagination
theSun, Tue, 14 Sep 2010
CHILDREN, both girls and boys alike, aged four or five enjoy trying on clothes and accessories. They simply love to experiment with how they look.
Girls may try out a dozen hair clips or necklaces and mummy’s high heels, while boys will want to dress up like daddy by trying on ties, and requesting for fancy jeans, belts or shoes.
At that age, they grow more conscious of their appearance and would want to choose their own clothes. With your guidance, they learn how to make decisions.
As long as your daughter is dressing up appropriately for the occasion or weather, just give in at times if she decides to wear orange socks with her pink polka-dot dress, for example.
According to Dr Dorothy Einon, author of Creative Play for 2-5s, around this age, "your child now moves more like a little adult than a baby, and being a little adult also characterises many of her other skills and attributes. She now has a great deal more in common with herself at 16 years than herself at 16 months."
In her book, the writer recommends playing dress-up for children at this age. Playing dress-up is an activity that allows your child to have fun while developing their creativity and imagination.
Leave them to their own devices and you’ll be amazed at the characters they come up with. You will see how clever they are at improvising with things to make the props or costumes they need.
Start a collection of dress-up clothes like old scarves, shawls, hats, cloaks, jewellery, bags, sunglasses, hair clips, etc.
Also include props like a toy mobile phone, briefcase, apron, utensils, fireman’s helmet, stethoscope, wand, sword, eye patch - anything that helps them create a character they can dress up as.
Make these easily accessible by keeping them in a special box or drawer.
Besides sparking their creativity and imagination, the act of putting on and taking off clothes, buckling up, fastening or unfastening buttons gives them fine motor skill practice.
Playing dress-up also helps them overcome fears and learn new things. Playing doctor, nurse or dentist could help your child not be afraid of going to the clinic, taking shots or medicine. Playing teacher could reassure your child that going to preschool is fun, while playing engineer or mechanic could teach your child how a car works.
When children play together, they learn to share not only props but ideas. They develop interpersonal skills and learn to be tolerant, to share and cooperate.
They practise communication and negotiation skills when they choose costumes, decide on the pretend-play scenario and storyline they want, and who plays the villain or hero, for instance. They learn to be expressive and improve their vocabulary.
By playing ‘good’ and ‘bad’ roles, they learn the difference between right and wrong. They learn to how to amuse themselves and see their role in the family. They become clearer about their gender identity and understand differences between men and women.
They also learn about the world around them and understand the many different roles and responsibilities people have. They will grow up with self-confidence.
theSun, Tue, 14 Sep 2010
CHILDREN, both girls and boys alike, aged four or five enjoy trying on clothes and accessories. They simply love to experiment with how they look.
Girls may try out a dozen hair clips or necklaces and mummy’s high heels, while boys will want to dress up like daddy by trying on ties, and requesting for fancy jeans, belts or shoes.
At that age, they grow more conscious of their appearance and would want to choose their own clothes. With your guidance, they learn how to make decisions.
As long as your daughter is dressing up appropriately for the occasion or weather, just give in at times if she decides to wear orange socks with her pink polka-dot dress, for example.
According to Dr Dorothy Einon, author of Creative Play for 2-5s, around this age, "your child now moves more like a little adult than a baby, and being a little adult also characterises many of her other skills and attributes. She now has a great deal more in common with herself at 16 years than herself at 16 months."
In her book, the writer recommends playing dress-up for children at this age. Playing dress-up is an activity that allows your child to have fun while developing their creativity and imagination.
Leave them to their own devices and you’ll be amazed at the characters they come up with. You will see how clever they are at improvising with things to make the props or costumes they need.
Start a collection of dress-up clothes like old scarves, shawls, hats, cloaks, jewellery, bags, sunglasses, hair clips, etc.
Also include props like a toy mobile phone, briefcase, apron, utensils, fireman’s helmet, stethoscope, wand, sword, eye patch - anything that helps them create a character they can dress up as.
Make these easily accessible by keeping them in a special box or drawer.
Besides sparking their creativity and imagination, the act of putting on and taking off clothes, buckling up, fastening or unfastening buttons gives them fine motor skill practice.
Playing dress-up also helps them overcome fears and learn new things. Playing doctor, nurse or dentist could help your child not be afraid of going to the clinic, taking shots or medicine. Playing teacher could reassure your child that going to preschool is fun, while playing engineer or mechanic could teach your child how a car works.
When children play together, they learn to share not only props but ideas. They develop interpersonal skills and learn to be tolerant, to share and cooperate.
They practise communication and negotiation skills when they choose costumes, decide on the pretend-play scenario and storyline they want, and who plays the villain or hero, for instance. They learn to be expressive and improve their vocabulary.
By playing ‘good’ and ‘bad’ roles, they learn the difference between right and wrong. They learn to how to amuse themselves and see their role in the family. They become clearer about their gender identity and understand differences between men and women.
They also learn about the world around them and understand the many different roles and responsibilities people have. They will grow up with self-confidence.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Classic board-games
Playing chess, Scrabble and Monopoly is fun and educational for both young and old
theSun, Tue, 24 Aug 2010
THESE DAYS, children have the privilege to pick and choose colourful custom-made toys and games from mega toy stores. On top of that, with today’s advanced technology, the young (and old) are spoilt for choice with electronic handheld games, video and computer games.
Many classic board-games such as chess, checkers, Scrabble or Monopoly tend to get sidelined for these more modern versions of fun. Board-games, however, are beneficial for children, and adults, in many ways.
They are a wonderful alternative and allow you to spend quality family time at home during weekends instead of traipsing around crowded malls window-shopping.
In a quieter and more relaxed home environment, where everyone is gathered around a game, conversations will naturally take place. Talk could initially be about the game but you’ll never know what golden opportunities for bonding and teaching morals and values you may have with them when they open up to share their ideas, problems, and feelings.
Board-games enhance educational and social skills. By playing board-games, children learn a variety of lessons. Young children get to practise counting, matching, colour recognition, reading and vocabulary.
There are games that develop motor skills, manual dexterity and eye-hand coordination for the younger children. There are also those that promote strategy, problem-solving and planning skills for the older ones.
Word-games, such as Scrabble or Boggle, develop language skills such as vocabulary and spelling while others that involve quizzes and questions may test your child’s general knowledge. Games that use ‘play money’ like Monopoly may teach children about various denominations, counting change and managing money. It also helps develop reasoning and social skills.
Studies have also shown that playing games like chess improves logical thinking, math and reading skills. Simple games like Snakes and Ladders can teach young children counting and, at the same time, how to handle disappointment. These games help children learn about life – that we do not win all the time and that there will be ups and downs.
With younger children, it may be all right to bend the rules or give in to them a little to help them win at first. This can help build their self-confidence, sustain their interest in the game, and have an enjoyable experience playing board-games.
Meanwhile, with older children, learning to play by the rules and not cheat can teach them about compliance, sportsmanship and honesty.
Many studies have shown that playing games is beneficial for everyone regardless of sex, socio-economic class, or age. It is also reported that playing board-games reduces the risk of Alzheimer’s in the elderly.
Another formal study, The Venezuela ‘Learning to Think Project’, concluded that chess, methodically taught, helps increase the IQ of elementary schoolchildren of both sexes.
Learning aside, playing board-games together as a family is a great way to relieve stress. It is a wholesome and fun activity that brings family and even friends together for a meaningful time of sharing. In such a setting, you share fun, laughter, and even food.
So if you’re thinking of doing something different this weekend with your children, how about wiping the dust off your board-game collection and start spinning some dice?
theSun, Tue, 24 Aug 2010
THESE DAYS, children have the privilege to pick and choose colourful custom-made toys and games from mega toy stores. On top of that, with today’s advanced technology, the young (and old) are spoilt for choice with electronic handheld games, video and computer games.
Many classic board-games such as chess, checkers, Scrabble or Monopoly tend to get sidelined for these more modern versions of fun. Board-games, however, are beneficial for children, and adults, in many ways.
They are a wonderful alternative and allow you to spend quality family time at home during weekends instead of traipsing around crowded malls window-shopping.
In a quieter and more relaxed home environment, where everyone is gathered around a game, conversations will naturally take place. Talk could initially be about the game but you’ll never know what golden opportunities for bonding and teaching morals and values you may have with them when they open up to share their ideas, problems, and feelings.
Board-games enhance educational and social skills. By playing board-games, children learn a variety of lessons. Young children get to practise counting, matching, colour recognition, reading and vocabulary.
There are games that develop motor skills, manual dexterity and eye-hand coordination for the younger children. There are also those that promote strategy, problem-solving and planning skills for the older ones.
Word-games, such as Scrabble or Boggle, develop language skills such as vocabulary and spelling while others that involve quizzes and questions may test your child’s general knowledge. Games that use ‘play money’ like Monopoly may teach children about various denominations, counting change and managing money. It also helps develop reasoning and social skills.
Studies have also shown that playing games like chess improves logical thinking, math and reading skills. Simple games like Snakes and Ladders can teach young children counting and, at the same time, how to handle disappointment. These games help children learn about life – that we do not win all the time and that there will be ups and downs.
With younger children, it may be all right to bend the rules or give in to them a little to help them win at first. This can help build their self-confidence, sustain their interest in the game, and have an enjoyable experience playing board-games.
Meanwhile, with older children, learning to play by the rules and not cheat can teach them about compliance, sportsmanship and honesty.
Many studies have shown that playing games is beneficial for everyone regardless of sex, socio-economic class, or age. It is also reported that playing board-games reduces the risk of Alzheimer’s in the elderly.
Another formal study, The Venezuela ‘Learning to Think Project’, concluded that chess, methodically taught, helps increase the IQ of elementary schoolchildren of both sexes.
Learning aside, playing board-games together as a family is a great way to relieve stress. It is a wholesome and fun activity that brings family and even friends together for a meaningful time of sharing. In such a setting, you share fun, laughter, and even food.
So if you’re thinking of doing something different this weekend with your children, how about wiping the dust off your board-game collection and start spinning some dice?
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Finding the right balance
theSun, Tue, 10 Aug 2010
CHILDREN are not spared when we see the increasing number of cardiovascular, obesity and diabetes cases around the world, even in Malaysia.
An article on childhood obesity, published in the Malaysian Journal of Nutrition (March 2004), quoted research by Segal D.G. and Sanchez J.C. (2001) that "after an obese child reaches six years of age, the probability that obesity will persist into adulthood exceeds 50%, and [that] 70% to 80% of obese adolescents will remain so as adults".
The writers also quoted that as increasing numbers of overweight children and adolescents progress to adulthood, cardiovascular, respiratory, gastrointestinal, endocrine and psychosocial problems are expected to reach epidemic proportions.
While eating out or buying take-away lunches are more convenient options for our busy lifestyles, try to schedule some family meal times for certain meals such as dinner, or on certain days of the week when everyone is available to sit down together for a home-cooked meal.
Eating together not only provides family time for bonding, it also gives you the opportunity to prepare a well-balanced meal for the family. You can work more fruits and vegetables into the menu, and cut down on fried and processed foods.
Eating together also gives you the opportunity to introduce new types of food to younger children. It may, however, require a few attempts and some patience to get junior to eat mashed potatoes instead of French fries for instance.
While carrot and celery sticks, or apples and bananas may be boring compared to a bag of chips or candy, some creativity could change perspectives.
Serve them with healthy dips or accompaniments such as peanut butter, cheese or tomato salsa. And include fruits into your wholemeal pancakes, and diced vegetables into your omelettes for example.
Do not bribe children with candy or junk food. Do not force them to finish everything on their plate if they can’t. This will help them learn to ‘listen’ to their appetite and not overeat when they are older.
Involve your children as much as you can when shopping and preparing food. Take them with you for grocery shopping. Show them the various food you need to complete the food pyramid for a balanced diet. Teach them to read food labels. Tell them the different nutrients your body need and in which types of food they can be found.
If you have a garden, get them involved by planting vegetables they like. Ask them to help you wash, cut, peel and chop when cooking. Children tend to be more interested in eating the food they have helped to grow and prepare.
Healthy eating ideas can also be imparted to children when you role-play with them and when you read books about health and food together with them.
Among some fun titles to pore over are Oh the Things You Can Do That are Good for You!: All About Staying Healthy (part of the Cat in the Hat Learning Library Series) by Tish Rabe, Cookie by Lisa Woomer and The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Junk Food by Stan and Jan Berenstain.
It is without doubt that parents play an important role in teaching children to eat healthily. When children learn to do this from young, they are more likely to continue this habit as they grow older.
CHILDREN are not spared when we see the increasing number of cardiovascular, obesity and diabetes cases around the world, even in Malaysia.
An article on childhood obesity, published in the Malaysian Journal of Nutrition (March 2004), quoted research by Segal D.G. and Sanchez J.C. (2001) that "after an obese child reaches six years of age, the probability that obesity will persist into adulthood exceeds 50%, and [that] 70% to 80% of obese adolescents will remain so as adults".
The writers also quoted that as increasing numbers of overweight children and adolescents progress to adulthood, cardiovascular, respiratory, gastrointestinal, endocrine and psychosocial problems are expected to reach epidemic proportions.
While eating out or buying take-away lunches are more convenient options for our busy lifestyles, try to schedule some family meal times for certain meals such as dinner, or on certain days of the week when everyone is available to sit down together for a home-cooked meal.
Eating together not only provides family time for bonding, it also gives you the opportunity to prepare a well-balanced meal for the family. You can work more fruits and vegetables into the menu, and cut down on fried and processed foods.
Eating together also gives you the opportunity to introduce new types of food to younger children. It may, however, require a few attempts and some patience to get junior to eat mashed potatoes instead of French fries for instance.
While carrot and celery sticks, or apples and bananas may be boring compared to a bag of chips or candy, some creativity could change perspectives.
Serve them with healthy dips or accompaniments such as peanut butter, cheese or tomato salsa. And include fruits into your wholemeal pancakes, and diced vegetables into your omelettes for example.
Do not bribe children with candy or junk food. Do not force them to finish everything on their plate if they can’t. This will help them learn to ‘listen’ to their appetite and not overeat when they are older.
Involve your children as much as you can when shopping and preparing food. Take them with you for grocery shopping. Show them the various food you need to complete the food pyramid for a balanced diet. Teach them to read food labels. Tell them the different nutrients your body need and in which types of food they can be found.
If you have a garden, get them involved by planting vegetables they like. Ask them to help you wash, cut, peel and chop when cooking. Children tend to be more interested in eating the food they have helped to grow and prepare.
Healthy eating ideas can also be imparted to children when you role-play with them and when you read books about health and food together with them.
Among some fun titles to pore over are Oh the Things You Can Do That are Good for You!: All About Staying Healthy (part of the Cat in the Hat Learning Library Series) by Tish Rabe, Cookie by Lisa Woomer and The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Junk Food by Stan and Jan Berenstain.
It is without doubt that parents play an important role in teaching children to eat healthily. When children learn to do this from young, they are more likely to continue this habit as they grow older.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Water lessons
theSun, Tue, 27 Jul 2010
CHILDREN simply love to play with water, don’t they? I remember enjoying it myself when I was a child. I ‘swam’ in the bath tub, played with live tadpoles in it (yes, I really did), washed my dolly’s clothes in a basin, and ‘shot’ at my brother with a water pistol.
Water play is a fun and educational way to keep our children cool on hot days, and occupied those boring hours in a stimulating manner. It’s also a clever way to get those who refuse a bath to step into the tub (and later, to refuse to step out!).
Whether it’s indoors or outdoors, water play helps children, from infants and toddlers to school-age ones, develop skills and learn something from it.
By filling and carrying a bucket, pouring a cup of ‘tea’ and stirring, or scooping water from one bowl into another, children are actually developing their motor skills and hand-eye coordination.
Water is a sensory-play material that is beneficial for children, similar to other sensory-play materials such as sand and play dough. Their senses are stimulated when they feel water run through their body and fingers, when playing with ice cubes and experiencing them melting, and when splashing and kicking about in a tub or pool.
They learn the difference between wet and dry, solid and liquid, for example. They improve their vocabulary with words such as heavy, light, sink, float, shallow, deep, empty and full.
They learn math and science concepts such as mass and volume. They learn how to measure and see how a liquid changes ‘shape’ when poured into containers of different shapes and sizes.
And when they mix water with materials such as salt, sugar, coffee or food colouring, they learn how water can change in terms of taste and colour, what’s soluble and insoluble.
Water play provides the opportunity for free and creative play. Imagination is given free reign when you throw a few simple things into the bathwater – plastic bowls, cups, drinking straws, and funnel, for example. And animal bath toys, sponges, plastic or paper boats could turn the bathtub into adventureland.
While water play could be fun and beneficial in the overall physical, mental, emotional and social development of a child, we need to be mindful of potential dangers as well.
Always supervise your child when she is playing with water. Never leave a child alone in the tub or swimming pool for even a split second to answer the phone in the next room, for example. Inconvenient as it is, take her with you.
Little ones can drown in less than an inch of water. Like us adults, they could also slip and fall on wet floors.
Do not leave buckets filled with water lying around where children can easily reach them. Empty them after use.
Childproofing bathroom doors to prevent young children from entering them unsupervised is a good idea. Drain paddling pools after use, and erect enclosures or cover the swimming pool to prevent children from accidentally falling into the water.
Learn how to swim as a family. It is a good skill to have besides giving you good exercise. Ensure you have proper flotation devices for your children (and yourself) when you indulge in water activities such as swimming in the pool, lake or sea, or going on a boat ride.
CHILDREN simply love to play with water, don’t they? I remember enjoying it myself when I was a child. I ‘swam’ in the bath tub, played with live tadpoles in it (yes, I really did), washed my dolly’s clothes in a basin, and ‘shot’ at my brother with a water pistol.
Water play is a fun and educational way to keep our children cool on hot days, and occupied those boring hours in a stimulating manner. It’s also a clever way to get those who refuse a bath to step into the tub (and later, to refuse to step out!).
Whether it’s indoors or outdoors, water play helps children, from infants and toddlers to school-age ones, develop skills and learn something from it.
By filling and carrying a bucket, pouring a cup of ‘tea’ and stirring, or scooping water from one bowl into another, children are actually developing their motor skills and hand-eye coordination.
Water is a sensory-play material that is beneficial for children, similar to other sensory-play materials such as sand and play dough. Their senses are stimulated when they feel water run through their body and fingers, when playing with ice cubes and experiencing them melting, and when splashing and kicking about in a tub or pool.
They learn the difference between wet and dry, solid and liquid, for example. They improve their vocabulary with words such as heavy, light, sink, float, shallow, deep, empty and full.
They learn math and science concepts such as mass and volume. They learn how to measure and see how a liquid changes ‘shape’ when poured into containers of different shapes and sizes.
And when they mix water with materials such as salt, sugar, coffee or food colouring, they learn how water can change in terms of taste and colour, what’s soluble and insoluble.
Water play provides the opportunity for free and creative play. Imagination is given free reign when you throw a few simple things into the bathwater – plastic bowls, cups, drinking straws, and funnel, for example. And animal bath toys, sponges, plastic or paper boats could turn the bathtub into adventureland.
While water play could be fun and beneficial in the overall physical, mental, emotional and social development of a child, we need to be mindful of potential dangers as well.
Always supervise your child when she is playing with water. Never leave a child alone in the tub or swimming pool for even a split second to answer the phone in the next room, for example. Inconvenient as it is, take her with you.
Little ones can drown in less than an inch of water. Like us adults, they could also slip and fall on wet floors.
Do not leave buckets filled with water lying around where children can easily reach them. Empty them after use.
Childproofing bathroom doors to prevent young children from entering them unsupervised is a good idea. Drain paddling pools after use, and erect enclosures or cover the swimming pool to prevent children from accidentally falling into the water.
Learn how to swim as a family. It is a good skill to have besides giving you good exercise. Ensure you have proper flotation devices for your children (and yourself) when you indulge in water activities such as swimming in the pool, lake or sea, or going on a boat ride.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Separation anxiety
theSun, Tue, 20 Jul 2010
THE memory of it is still fresh although it happened four years ago – the first time I sent my child to nursery school. She was then three years old.
I had prepared her for it as best as I could, but when the moment came for me to leave, the floodgates opened and the school bell was no match for her bawling.
I was advised by the experienced teacher to simply say a reassuring goodbye and leave her in their good hands. I plucked up the courage to trust the teachers and left, albeit with a heavy heart.
When I returned a couple of hours later and took a peek through the window, there she was, still crying and calling out for me.
While the crying bouts decreased as the days passed, it took her about two weeks before she could say goodbye to me with a smile.
I’m sure many parents have experienced a similar situation.
Young children become anxious or fearful when they experience new people, new surroundings, changes to their routine and most of all, when they are separated from the people they have close bonds with, such as their parents or caregiver.
Separation anxiety, as it is termed, usually happens when the child has discovered the concept of object permanence, whereby something or someone still exists when out of his sight.
This usually takes place when the child is around nine months old and peaks between 12 to 24 months.
Toddlers, especially those who have less experience in being separated from loved ones, will also feel it more.
It also happens to older children when they start formal schooling or when a situation arises where a loved one is going away.
There are some steps we can take to soften the blow.
Place your child with an alternate caregiver without your presence occasionally. Provide him with positive and fun experiences with caregivers for short periods of time.
Do not sneak away without his knowledge. Instead, tell him reassuringly that you will be back and that he will be all right.
Before you leave, give him an object of yours to keep safely on your behalf such as a photograph of yourself or a keychain for example, so that he’ll know that you’ll come back for it and him.
You can also read books about going to nursery or pre-school and going on new adventures.
If possible, familiarise him with the new surroundings and people he will be with, prior to the ‘official’ time when he starts at the daycare or school.
Make informal visits there to see the place, teachers and new friends. Walk around the place, tell him what he will be doing, especially the fun activities and toys he’ll get to play with while you are away.
Although it could be a trying period of transition for both the child and parent, rest assured that it would come to pass sooner or with a bit more patience, later.
However, you may need to consider seeking professional help if your child displays persistent and extreme anxiety, such as having recurrent nightmares about being separated, fear of being alone, kidnapped or lost, and excessive worrying that bad things will happen to his loved ones.
He may refuse to go to sleep without being near his loved one, and often complain of physical problems such as stomachaches or headaches when being separated.
These are some symptoms of a separate problem called separation anxiety disorder.
THE memory of it is still fresh although it happened four years ago – the first time I sent my child to nursery school. She was then three years old.
I had prepared her for it as best as I could, but when the moment came for me to leave, the floodgates opened and the school bell was no match for her bawling.
I was advised by the experienced teacher to simply say a reassuring goodbye and leave her in their good hands. I plucked up the courage to trust the teachers and left, albeit with a heavy heart.
When I returned a couple of hours later and took a peek through the window, there she was, still crying and calling out for me.
While the crying bouts decreased as the days passed, it took her about two weeks before she could say goodbye to me with a smile.
I’m sure many parents have experienced a similar situation.
Young children become anxious or fearful when they experience new people, new surroundings, changes to their routine and most of all, when they are separated from the people they have close bonds with, such as their parents or caregiver.
Separation anxiety, as it is termed, usually happens when the child has discovered the concept of object permanence, whereby something or someone still exists when out of his sight.
This usually takes place when the child is around nine months old and peaks between 12 to 24 months.
Toddlers, especially those who have less experience in being separated from loved ones, will also feel it more.
It also happens to older children when they start formal schooling or when a situation arises where a loved one is going away.
There are some steps we can take to soften the blow.
Place your child with an alternate caregiver without your presence occasionally. Provide him with positive and fun experiences with caregivers for short periods of time.
Do not sneak away without his knowledge. Instead, tell him reassuringly that you will be back and that he will be all right.
Before you leave, give him an object of yours to keep safely on your behalf such as a photograph of yourself or a keychain for example, so that he’ll know that you’ll come back for it and him.
You can also read books about going to nursery or pre-school and going on new adventures.
If possible, familiarise him with the new surroundings and people he will be with, prior to the ‘official’ time when he starts at the daycare or school.
Make informal visits there to see the place, teachers and new friends. Walk around the place, tell him what he will be doing, especially the fun activities and toys he’ll get to play with while you are away.
Although it could be a trying period of transition for both the child and parent, rest assured that it would come to pass sooner or with a bit more patience, later.
However, you may need to consider seeking professional help if your child displays persistent and extreme anxiety, such as having recurrent nightmares about being separated, fear of being alone, kidnapped or lost, and excessive worrying that bad things will happen to his loved ones.
He may refuse to go to sleep without being near his loved one, and often complain of physical problems such as stomachaches or headaches when being separated.
These are some symptoms of a separate problem called separation anxiety disorder.
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